I never intended to become a zombie huntress; I had only intended to protest prom, high school’s last bastion of patriarchal society.

Isabelle snorted, “All the boys are gay. In this truck, anyway. Well, not you, Simon.””You noticed,” said Simon. “I think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual,” added Magnus. “Please never say those words in front...

Dixon was not unconscious of this awed reverence which was given to her; nor did she dislike it; it flattered her as much as Louis the Fourteenth was flattered by his courtiers shading their eyes...

Wait a second,” Clary said.”I never understand why people say that,” Luke said, to no one in particular. “I wasn’t going anywhere.

I wore a hat, to compensate for the fact that my pants were unzipped. When we made love, she asked if I brought a condom, so I showed her my tube socks. I brought two,...

Attacking a provincial lord in his manor house, surrounded by guards…Honestly, Kell, I’d nearly forgotten how foolhardy you can be.”Foolhardy?” Kelsier asked with a laugh. “that wasn’t foolhardy – that was just a small diversion....

I often confuse fog and mist. But one is not the other any more than either are either. Let this be a lesson in love.

However, if you do start crying in an argument and someone asks why, you can always say, “I’m just crying because of how wrong you are.

Holding hands with your lover is special, especially when that hand is plastic, and that lover is a mannequin.

Sometimes in my class I have people come in and do monologues inspired by people they know and I always find that to be useful to do specifics about somebody and then you’re actually doing...

I’ve been to a horse farm, a magical place where jockeys grow on trees. That’s where we made love for the first time like it was the second time.

The two seemed on casual terms, leading me to wonder how long this limousine had been in her life, and whether she had ever seen the inside, and if so, whether she climbed in the...

My girlfriend and I are close. She’s like a brother to me. My brother is also dating her. We make love like mannequins and mashed potatoes, despite the fact that I’m single and an only...

I think I liked the idea better when it was in my head.

You’re nasty and you’re loud,you’re mean enough for two,If I could be a cloud,I’d rain all day on you.

I held a nail in place and slammed it with the hammer. Best. Chore. Ever.

Eve talking to someone on her computer and having trouble with the language translator…..”I have two like crimes. Your data and your input on Leclerk would be very helpful”Marie pursed her lips and humor danced...

Go out with me tomorow night,” Perry went on. “Let me prove to you that I’m the guy you want.””I…I guess I coul go out tomorrow night,” Miranda sounded shocked and a little swept off...

Mallory dropped her head to the steering wheel. “Look, I’m mad at you, okay? This isn’t about me. I know my painful memories are relative. My life is good. I’m lucky. This isn’t about how...

I can see clearly now, my brain is gone.Lucy

I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the...

I had a dream about you. You were wearing Sylvester Stallone’s sneer as pants, but his lips were saggy on your legs, so you had to wear a mustache as a belt.

With my grandma, every Sunday after church.

I have been told the best things in life are free ~ I found them very expensive.

If you don’t hire me, it doesn’t matter anywayBut if you hire me, the answers are all classified

I had a dream about you. We were married and I walked into the room to see you in my new black dress and high heels and I said “That’s not what I meant when...

Subject: SundownDate: June 14 2011 09:35To: Christian GreyDear Completely & Utterly SmittenI love waking up with you, too. But I love being in bed with you and in elevators and on pianos and billiard tables...

Foul!” yelled Jamie, who seemed extremely happy not to be the one facing a blade. “Distracting technique! Put your shirt back on right now.

Francesca took a navy blue sheath from a hanger and held it up. “This is darling, Gabriel. Don’t you love it? You’re right, I think we need to concentrate on much more feminine articles of...

Boohoo.

Nice guys finish last but that’s what makes them good in bed.

Um i’m happy to sit close to you and everything, but i had no idea you would like it so much,’ Paris muttered.

We made love like a half a minute. I brought the thirty seconds, and she provided the excuse as to why she didn’t have enough time to have sex with me.

I’d love to be what I have been.

A brick could be used as a paperweight, if the words you wrote weren’t weighty enough to hold it down.

To truly fail in life is to never try. When you fall on your face, it is an opportunity for you to find the road again. It may remind you how hard the road is,...

People in hell want snowcones.

How are you doing, son?””If you don’t get started, I’ll rip out your heart and have it for breakfast.”- Michael to Solo

Do you like flora and fauna? How about plants and animals? Because we have more of that beautiful crap than we know what to do with. Charmingly domesticated troops of monkeys swing freely throughout our...

Your… Your aura. It’s… amazing. It’s shining. I mean, it always shines, but today… Well I’ve never seen anything like it. I didn’t expect that after everything that happened.’I shifted around uncomfortably. If I lit...

What the hell is that?” I laughed.”It’s my fox hat.””Your fox hat?””Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat.””Why are you wearing your fox hat?” I asked.”Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.

Well, I don’t know how to break this to you, but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts.

I normally don’t do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.

Ma’am,’ Augustus said, nodding toward her, ‘your daughter’s car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we’ll be forced to call the police.’ After...

The adults said the only good food was the bacon, but the kids knew better. They had never had a more fun breakfast in their lives. Although they had to agree the bacon was very...

You need anything we’re only an hour away, give or take, honey. You call. We’ll help you hide the body.

The Destructive Arts are exactly like Martial Arts, except they don’t have uniforms or usefulness and the end result doesn’t resemble art in any way.

Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don’t laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.

I had done Shrek as a Canadian and I’m very proud to be Canadian, but I knew I could give more to it.

If I go back home to Wittenberg, I’ll lie down in a coffin and give the maggots a fat doctor to eat.