World is so full of idiots that you can’t even imagine to escape. The only solution is isolation. But it still spares one!

Jesus H. Christ on ice and Mary in the penalty box!

I guess it’s worth a shot.” More than likely a wasted bullet, but I’ll fire anyway.

Darling Daddy,Poor Saffy. She had a big fight in the boys toilets on Monday, did you know? A very big fight and Sarah helped and it was terrifying. Said a boy in my class who...

Who is your favorite character in the series? Or…if that’s too hard, why do you like each one and who drives you crazy?Puck: Well, she likes me best, of course. I’m the handsome, charming one....

Lying on the ceiling. Refusing to go to school. Not opening up to me. Climbing water towers. “No, she’s all right.

I do know you’re nothing like him. But you’re still….still a lot. A lot to handle. I don’t mean your junk, obviously, as we’ve not gotten to the fondling-bits stage yet. And I can’t believe...

For that, Mr. Malphas, you can join Mr. Gautier in after-school detention.”Caleb let out an irritated sigh. –More quality time with my hemorrhoid. Just what I wanted for Christmas. Yippee ki-yay.–

Oh yes? Can you identify yourself?-Certainly. I’d know me anywhere.

She grabbed all her clothes from her wardrobe and flung them across the room, screaming her head off until she finally felt sane again. Perhaps tomorrow she would buy those cats. (Holly)

I think it would be neat to meet a man who slept with one eye open, especially if that man was a Cyclops.

I grabbed a shovel and dug, and dug, and dug.Sorry not a very poetic thought, but very deep.

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

I´ve been Obeahed by an Obeahman? Is this like how the smurfs say they smurfing smurfed all the time?

Grace,” he roared in her face.

Cause hearts are amazing things. They get lots bigger to make room for new people to love alongside the old people you love. -Simi

This cave is so dark I can’t see any of you in your ninja outfits.” “Sorry.” the boys said and they peeled off their outfits and left them in a pile. The boys left Mollie’s...

Time and Tide wait for no Man; what about woman ? How Sexist !

I had a scimitar at my throat. I’d like to see you try signaling under those conditions.”-Janco and Ari bickering

Chuck Norris CAN understand women.

Val had a horrific image of Lisa peering through a magnifying glass like a grotesquely teenybopper version of Nancy Drew — in jeggings.

the answer to every problem involved penguins

I’m not too afraid to blow your ass right back to whatever hell you come from.

Thanks for coming,” Zach told him. He slapped Jonas on the back. And I felt like I’d fallen into an alternate universe. One where Zach had…friends.

Caddy came home on Friday evening. Perfectly Harmless Patrick brought her in his battered old car…”Crikey, Caddy!” said Indigo, and he disappeared upstairs to tell Rose.Eve murmured, “Sweet,” rather doubtfully.Sarah said, not doubtfully at all,...

Leonard had let them go alone with the young boy who Ali was now convinced, was a couple falafel’s short of a picnic

EAT SANDWICH, NOT OWN MOUTH.

How funny are dogs?

Claire was going to hate me. Our son was sucked into the pits of hell while I was watching General Hospital. God damn you Brenda and Sonny for making me lose focus.

Hey, don’t knock it. It still runs. Most of the time, even after I turn it off.” Jo

(About a cookbook…)- What about this one? Maids of Honor?- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor…but they ends up Tarts.

He had bright elfin eyes and a knowledgeable ass.

I’m happy for the kid and everything, but how the fuck does Lio get a friend before me? I live here. ‘I told you I could do it :)’ Lio IMs me. I want to...

If you don’t fall down now and again, it just means the training wheels are working

Yo Mama’s so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.

Remember, I’m the only person her who’s paid to be nice to you. But not too nice. Give me any lip and I’ll break your face. OK?

Sometimes charm can make a person blind to truth…look at Ted Bundy.

Life before toilet paper was not worth living.

NORA [looking earnestly and a little doubtfully at him]. Surelyif you let one woman cry on you like that you’d never let anothertouch you.BROADBENT [conscientiously]. One should not. One OUGHT not, mydear girl. But the...

Clouds are high flying Fog

At fifty times the distance, you dispatched that ko-bold with three arrows to the neck. I’ve earned a trio to the chest. Seems you slapped him while you’re tickling me. You doona want to kill...

…and Jack, who felt like he was on the cusp of being able to read minds and thought it would be all right if Luce wrote him down for that. (“I sense that you’re okay...

Now there’s a girl I don’t want to mess with’ — or at least, that’s what I would think if I had a chronic fear of freakishly nice people.

Green grass breaks through snow,Artemis pleads for my help,I am so cool.

I get a message from my dad. In the mood I’m in, I tear up to see his name in my inbox, and imagine him down the hall in bed, propped on pillows, emailing me....

Afternoon experience: autographing exposed legs, outstretched in lines like matchsticks. Afternoon epiphany: Those with smooth, hairless legs would soon lose all evidence of my contact when the sweat causes the ink from the marker to...

What can I say? I’m like a playground water fountain, I live to wet people’s pants.

When life gives you lemons, you exchange them at the store for something more edible.

Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.

I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago.””Waitress!” Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers madly. “Bring two!” then, more quietly,”You want a neck massage? A bedtime story? A bullet...