Jesus H. Christ on ice and Mary in the penalty box!
If you don’t fall down now and again, it just means the training wheels are working
Sometimes charm can make a person blind to truth…look at Ted Bundy.
Green grass breaks through snow,Artemis pleads for my help,I am so cool.
Afternoon experience: autographing exposed legs, outstretched in lines like matchsticks. Afternoon epiphany: Those with smooth, hairless legs would soon lose all evidence of my contact when the sweat causes the ink from the marker to...
Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.
I’ve been single so long that if I hug a brother, he’ll get pregnant!
If you’re listening to this, congratulations! You survived Doomsday.I’d like to apologize straightaway for any inconvenience the end of the world may have caused you. The earthquakes, rebellions, riots,tornadoes, floods, tsunamis, and of course the...
I must be very complex, judging by the number of days determined to define me.
You saved Dad’s life. If anyone’s got the right to eavesdrop on him, it’s you.
Remember every vote count’s and every two are worth a nickel
Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train.
I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.
Don’t follow me on Instagram, it seems i already figured out your password.
If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried