I moved out of my head office and went out of my mind.
Iron deficiency can lead to a wardrobe full of crumpled clothes
I’ve found a great hiding place for all my money, down the drain
Amazin’.’ he said again. ‘He just looks as though he’s thinking, right?”Er…yes.”But he’s not actually thinking?”Er…no.”So…he just gives the impression of thinking but really it’s just a show?”Er…yes.’Just like everyone else, then really,’ said Ridcully
For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they...
A few years ago it dawned on me that everybody past a certain age … pretty much constantly dreams of being able to escape from their lives. They don’t want to be who they are any more. They want out. This list includes Thurston Howell the Third, Ann-Margret, the cat members of Rent, Václav Havel,...
Adams dealt him so sound a Compliment over his Face with his Fist, that the Blood immediately gushed out of his Nose in a Stream. The Host being unwilling to be outdone in Courtesy, especially by a Person of Adams’s Figure, returned the Favour with so much Gratitude, that the Parson’s Nostrils likewise began to...
I also think pronunciation of a foreign tongue could be better taught than by demanding from the pupil those internal acrobatic feats that are generally impossible and always useless. This is the sort of instruction one recieves: ‘Press your tonsils against the underside of your larynx. Then with the convex part of the septum curved...
A man is known by the company of the phone he keeps.
I don’t like good habits. They strike me as being so easily broken.
when you step on fire no matter how far you ran your feet will still burn
How do you explain plastic to a medieval forest bard?
The wind was against them now, and Piglet’s ears streamed behind him like banners as he fought his way along, and it seemed hours before he got them into the shelter of the Hundred Acre Wood and they stood up straight again, to listen, a little nervously, to the roaring of the gale among the...
David had left her,taking his insane jealousy with him.
…the more of a fool a man is, the less he cares to look like one
Fat people are funny … until obesity pays your loved one a visit.
Finalement, le plus grand bénéfice du métier d’humoriste, et plus généralement de l’attitude humoristique, dans la vie, c’est de pouvoir se comporter comme un salaud en toute impunité, et même de pouvoir grassement rentabiliser son abjection, en succès sexuels comme en numéraire, le tout avec l’approbation générale. (La possibilité d’une île, Daniel 1,1)
Did you slip in some cheese? Did it make you hate cheese, which you had previously loved? Why not sue a cheese-maker? Sue him for all the cheese he’s got, drive him out of the cheese-making business!Did you burn your face with an iron? Why not sue Prometheus, the god that invented fire? Or an...
Do not fall in love…..it means you have to look at someone else.
Isn’t he cute? That he thinks he has a sense of humour?
Only a man with nothing to hide could make that kind of racket.