I moved out of my head office and went out of my mind.

If you want to know what’s going on, keep your mind in the fridge or it might go off.

Iron deficiency can lead to a wardrobe full of crumpled clothes

A sneeze can never be to far away

Great songs don’t grow on trees, yet lots of songs have been written on great trees

Frame everything and some of it will become art.

I’ve found a great hiding place for all my money, down the drain

Amazin’.’ he said again. ‘He just looks as though he’s thinking, right?”Er…yes.”But he’s not actually thinking?”Er…no.”So…he just gives the impression of thinking but really it’s just a show?”Er…yes.’Just like everyone else, then really,’ said Ridcully

Chater: You dare to call me that. I demand satisfaction!Septimus: Mrs Chater demanded satisfaction and now you are demanding satisfaction. I cannot spend my time day and night satisfying the demands of the Chater family.

Chasing something external to satisfy the internal is a hollow practice. The only thing you can chase is yourself and you are already here!

Hard,” she replied.

Having had virtually no contact with the outside world for the last few weeks, Evan had temporarily forgotten the social norms governing shopping conduct or approaching celebrities in public.

And so Mort came at last to the river Ankh, greatest of rivers. Even before it entered the city, it was slow and heavy with the silt of the plains, and by the time it got to The Shades even an agnostic could have walked across it. It was hard to drown in the Ankh,...

Tiffany knew what the problem was immediately. She’d seen it before, atbirthday parties. Her brother was suffering from tragic sweetdeprivation. Yes, he was surrounded by sweets. But the moment he took anysweet at all, said his sugar-addled brain, that meant he was not takingall the rest. And there were so many sweets he’d never be...

Oh, don’t be absurd, man.’ The Prime Minister sat back in his chair. ‘Come on. We can’t just ban a thing because we can’t control it.’The minister responsible for health and safety looked startled. ‘I don’t see why not. It’s never stopped us before.

I don’t know who you are; you could be an axe murderer for all I know. How am I supposed to trust you and follow you? For that matter, follow you where?” Gabe inquired.”Search yourself, what do your instincts tell you?” Uri asked.”That you’re a crazy nut job and freaking me out!” Gabe snapped back.

Well, don’t expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.

D’yer see it? This finger, laddie, could send ye to meet yer Maker!”Sgt. Deisenburger stared at the black and purple nail a few inches from his face. As an offensive weapon it rated quite highly, especially if it was ever used in the preparation of food.

AAaargwannawannaaaagongongonaargggaaaaBLOON!” which is the traditional sound of a very small child learning that with balloons, as with life itself, it is important to know when not to let go of the string. The whole point of balloons is to teach small children this.

Letitia! What a name. Halfway between a salad and a sneeze.

Dor woke again as dawn came. The sun had somehow gotten around to the east, where the land was, and dried off so that it could shine again.

Money’s scarceTimes are hardHere’s your fuckingXmas card

Rhett: If you’ve made up your mind to impale someone, do it with conviction.

Mr. Vey, you cannot be stuffed into a locker without your consent.” Dallstrom said, which may be the dumbest thing ever said in a school. “You should have resisted. That’s like blaming someone who was struck by lightning for getting in the way.

Look,’ said Cyrus, raising his knife again and pointing it at her. ‘Give me one reason why we shouldn’t kill your boyfriend over there. Come on. The dark scowling face is reason enough in my book.’She could have sworn she heard the sound of Lucas’s eyes narrowing to slits.‘Come on, just one reason,’ Cyrus repeated,...

Actually, we have a lot of traditions for that. You’ll find out

Crime writers, I’ve noticed, can be jumpy. They live in a world where there are murderers on the loose and they haven’t been caught yet!

Losing the Internet has forced them to interact verbally instead of microblogging their lives, but a lot of them still talk in Tweets:”Ugh! I’m standing in line at the post office.””I’m not eating the crusts on my sandwich because apparently I’m five.

What do you do,’ said Jean, ‘with, ah, “ungifted” children when you have them?”Cherish them and raise them, you imbecile. Most of them end up working for us, in Karthain and elsewhere. What did you think we’d do, burn them on a pyre?”Forget I asked

I crawled back to bed, knowing I was done for. Hours later, the phone in our room started ringing. It was George. He was not happy.”Room 312. Now!” he shouted.Bouldy got up. I tried to pull myself together, splashing my face with water and hauling on my shorts and flip flops. It was a lovely...

It may take a village to raise a baby, but hell! it takes an army to produce a book.

Caldris led them over to a large covered basket that sat on the stones near the docked dinghy. He undid the cover, reached in and removed a live kitten. “- Hello, you monstrous little necessity”. “- Mrrrr”, said the monstrous little necessity.

I kind of have to go to the bathroom,” Aria said woozily.Ezra smiled. “Can I come?

Don’t mind Russ,” he says. “He’s a good kid underneath all those holes, although it’s a wonder he doesn’t spring a leak when he drinks

But you were concerned about making sure things, you know, didn’t get serious.””Yeah, because I’m an idiot.

I do something. I’ll try not to hurt you.

Isn’t he cute? That he thinks he has a sense of humour?

Help.

Peyton, I’m not married and you’re not a lesbian. Think of the possibilities.

The theory of attachment is same for humans and computers. Unknown sender’s attachment is blocked..Known sender’s attachment is accepted or ignored..Heavy attachments are annoying..Too heavy attachments do not reach..No attachment is the best option!

Fever jumped aside just in time to dodge the shower of urine, and stumbled into the path of a religious procession – celebrants in robes and pointed hats whirling and clapping and chanting the name of some old-world prophet, ‘Hari, Hari! Hari Potter!’

Toasting a witch”, St John replied.

…his knees were held together by the skin-tight trousers, which consequently narrowed the aperture through which great quantities of malodorous, rancid dreck were shortly to emerge with great force. St John knew that this was likely to prove troublesome. Although his mid-morning bab was usually undertaken in a more perfunctory manner, he would still have...

A huge meringue with polio who drives everywhere in a beautifully restored Hillman Imp.

There was Arctic John, a businessman from Salisbury who doesn’t hold water, Bruce Knott, a social worker from Cumberland who spends his lunch hour picking his bum, and Judith Glycerine, the reformation pig.

Run. Flee. Fuck off. Vanish from my presence and take the foul stench of your sordid secret with you.

My love for Neo-Tokyo is a bulbous massof post-human organic circuitry.Cyperpunk is my mother tongue.My love is a man-machine interface gun.

Congratulations.You’ve just been demoted from the “pity” sector to the “apathy” sector.To check the validity of this offer you can ask if anyone cares.To cancel your subscription, go get a life.Thank you.

It was a smooth silvery voice that matched her hair. It had a tiny tinkle in it, like bells in a doll’s house. I thought that was silly as soon as I thought of it.

If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell