Stop worrying about life, no one survived it.

I have no problem with god – it’s his fan club that scares me.

It just a fun game, until someone starts to win and then everyone else begins to cheat!

If you’re given a dirty look, wash it and give it back.

JOIN THE CIRCUS OF CHAOS … juggling, stilt walking, and other skills for socially acceptable procrastination.

Always blow your own trumpet, blowing someone else’s is unhygienic

A fit, healthy body—that is the best fashion statement

If you want to know what’s going on, keep your mind in the fridge or it might go off.

Frame everything and some of it will become art.

Iron deficiency can lead to a wardrobe full of crumpled clothes

I’ve found a great hiding place for all my money, down the drain

Great songs don’t grow on trees, yet lots of songs have been written on great trees

I moved out of my head office and went out of my mind.

A sneeze can never be to far away

Ignorance is bliss. Denial is the reaction to a painful truth.

Holly girl, you are all too human, I can assure you. Prickly and awkward and human, because that’s what witches are – human, that is, not necessarily the prickly and annoying bit. That’s just you.

Amazin’.’ he said again. ‘He just looks as though he’s thinking, right?”Er…yes.”But he’s not actually thinking?”Er…no.”So…he just gives the impression of thinking but really it’s just a show?”Er…yes.’Just like everyone else, then really,’ said Ridcully

Women are almost two thirds more likely than men to believe in God, a major study of attitudes among middle aged Britons has found, says The Telegraph. Well, men are twice more likely than God...

Short cuts make long delays.

Stone me, what a life!

Actually, we have a lot of traditions for that. You’ll find out

If you neglected to warn Djetth beforehand that you were going to shoot him down, Your Highness, he may consider you in breach of contract…– Rhett

Dwarfs were not a naturally religious species, but in a world where pit props could crack without warning and pockets of fire damp could suddenly explode they’d seen the need for gods as the sort...

AAaargwannawannaaaagongongonaargggaaaaBLOON!” which is the traditional sound of a very small child learning that with balloons, as with life itself, it is important to know when not to let go of the string. The whole point...

I fended them off as best I could while trying to shield my eyes but, tragically, I’d left my flamethrower in my other suit.

…Recognising, as I do, that you are the second highest expert in Europe–“”Indeed, sir! May I inquire who has the honour to be the first?” Asked Holmes, with some asperity.”To the man of precised, scientific...

I don’t believe in ghosts but they blindly believe in me

Someone once told me that we move when it becomes less painful than staying where we are”.

Smile and make someone’s day better

It’s never too late to change, unless you’re already fully undressed

A man when he is making up to anybody can be cordial and gallant and full of little attentions and altogether charming. But when a man is really in love he can’t help looking like...

I welcome reviews from all readers. I take criticism well; but please . . . no comments on my author face!

His manhood sways briefly, then comes to a standstill.

Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that’s where it should stay.

If you want to find out if someone is a true bookworm or not, give them a thousand page novel and see what happens.

This little colloquy in Adele’s box was really the foundation of the secret society of the Luciaphils, and the membership of the Luciaphils began swiftly to increase. Aggie Sandeman was scarcely eligible, for complete goodwill...

I don’t suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?

And then he heard Mad-Eye Moody’s voice, echoing in some distant chamber of his empty brain: Jump onto the desk . . . jump onto the desk. . . .Harry bent his knees obediently, preparing...

You look extremely young,” said Miss Nightingale….”Age isn’t really a matter of years, I find,” returned Phemie. “I know people twice my age who will never be as old as I am now.

And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before–and thus was the Empire forged.

mostly we’ve had to found ways to amuse ourselves.””Really?” Valkyrie asked. “Like what?”Plight’s smile faded. “Like human sacrifice.”He grabbed one arm and Lenka grabbed the other and Valkyrie cried out.Then they both let go. laughing.”Naw,”...

I make mistakes, but I am on the side of Good,” the Golux said, “by accident and happenchance. I had high hopes of being Evil when I was two, but in my youth I came...

Do not mislead Perez Anna or malign the people who have sheltered you for over twenty years. We are not – what is the word for eaters of one another?””Capitalists,” said Anna.

New Year’s Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

The world is not full of crazy ninja perfume ladies!

It’s not that I want to work for Williams-Sonoma, per se, it’s just that you guys have the money and I don’t.

Damoder climbed slowly to his feet. ‘Buy lot!’ he wheedled, ‘I am poor man. I sell you cheap. I am bank-Rupert! Apparently the only things that could save him from bank-rupertcy were our dollars.

Hi. I’m here to enlist.You can’t. You aren’t human.You see, little fella, we don’t do sociological stuff like “interspeciated workplaces.” We’re a crack company of space mercenaries. We do “hurting people” and “breaking things.”Sounds like...

She was nothing more than a mere good-tempered, civil and obliging Young Woman; as such we could scarcely dislike her — she was only an Object of Contempt

If i believe my truth is true and you believe your truth is true,what if my truth says yours is a lie.is it still true?