I happen to be immature, undisciplined, and self-centered, pretty much a little boy in a man’s body, although I’d appreciate it if you didn’t quote me on that.-Bobby Tom

Hold it right there. The only agreement we ever had was that you intended to make me as miserable as possible, and I intended to courageously make the best of an intolerable situation like valiant...

In case you’re not bright enough to figure it out, there’s a real upside to having a sinner like me answer your phone. I lie, and your conscience stays clear.

Do you really expect me to fall apart every time another woman throws herself at you? Because, if that’s so, I’ll be a nervous wreck before the honeymoon’s over. Although, if they do it in...

Dallas, is it remotely possible for you to carry on a conversation that’s not loaded down with manure?

Old radicals never changed. They just got law degrees and updated their bag of tricks.

I married a damned cereal killer

His fists clenched at his sides. ‘Damn it! Where’s your pride?’ ‘Pride? It’s in my heart, of course.’ ‘You’re letting me demean you!’ She smiled. ‘You can’t do that. I can only demean myself.

She reached into the pocket of her dress and threw the small stack of bills at him. They fluttered to the ground like broken dreams. “I hope you choke onevery penny.””Pick that up.”She drew back...

You couldn’t be satisfied with being an amateur asshole, could you, Jimbo! You had to go and turn pro on me!

He tunneled his dirty hands through her hair and kissed her breathless. Her neck, her eyes, the corners of her mouth. He kissed her lips as if his life depended on it. Kissed their future...

He set the suitcases in the back then tossed her the keys. “You drive.”She repressed a smile as she climbed behind the wheel. “With each passing day, your reasons for wanting a wife become clearer.

So, Beav, tell me about yourself.””I’m Blue.””Sweetheart, if I had your dubious taste in men, I wouldn’t be too happy, either.””My name is Blue. Blue Bailey.

What are you gonna do, angel face? Stab me with your eyebrow pencil?

The Cinderella story in reverse. I only wish there were ashes in the fireplace so I could order you to sweep them out.

I take thee… to be my awful wedded husband

If the way you’ve been treating me is a mark of fondness, maybe you’d better take a fresh look at your interpersonal communication skills.

I hate to admit this, but some days hearing about other people’s problems actually cheers me up.

I finally figured out that not every crisis can be managed. As much as we want to keep ourselves safe, we can’t protect ourselves from everything. If we want to embrace life, we also have...

Maybe I should let my faithful manservant answer the rest of your questions, since he seems to have all the answers.””I’m saving her time,” Bodie replied. “She brings you a redhead, you’ll give her grief....

If you were a sane woman, I would, of course, behave in a more rational fashion. Since you are a lunatic, however, this is the only way.

[Bobby Tom] finally understood Gracie’s function in his life. She was God’s joke on him.

He stopped to rest at a cart selling nuts and candy, bought himself some Jelly Belly’s, flirted just enought with the Mexican cutie working there to convince her pull out the banana-flavored one. Although he...

When did my house turn into a hangout for every grossly overpaid, terminally pampered professional football player in northern Illinois?””We like it here,” Jason said. “It reminds us of home.””Plus, no women around.” Leandro Collins,...

The point I was trying to make before you interrupted with your inventoryof my personality is that neither of us is going to be able to stay celibate for the next six months.”She dropped her...

Now, now. Southern ladies don’t French-kiss and tell.

I love you, Daisy. I love you so much I hurt.

Here’s the life lesson I’ve learned, Fifi: Some people are born to play the hero, and some are born to play the bad guy. Fighting your destiny only makes life harder than it needs to...

Throughout the course of the day, Bobby Tom’s irritation over his artificially oiled and dirt-smeared chest and his unzipped jeans had flared into righteous indignation. They were treating him like a sex object! It was...

Mummy’s coming home late tonight. It’ll be just we guys, so we can get drunk and watch porn.

He grinned, and right then it occurred to him that he hadn’t enjoyed himself so much with a woman in a very long time. If Annabelle Granger were a few inches taller, a hell of...

Never mind that. What’s going on with you and Heath?”Annabelle pulled a little wide-eyed innocence out of her rusty bag of college acting skills.”What do you mean? Business.””Don’t give me that. We’ve been friends too...

Chip, I know you don’t understand this, but I’d take it as a personal favor if you’d stop trying to marry your mother off to my brothers.

Y tampoco nada de consoladores -dijo-, aun que se lo mucho que deseas uno. Lo cual no es ninguna sorpresa, ya que…-,Quieres dejarlo de lado de una vez?-De lado…Encima…Debajo… -Bram le acaricio la curvatura del...

Who the hell is that?!Some call her Satan. Others, Beelzebub. She goes by many names.

Eat your heart out. Oh, wait. You can’t. It’s not organic.

She threw up her hands. “All right. Why not?” Why not?” Sure.” His arms fell to his sides. “That’s it? I pour my heart out. I love you so much I’ve got freakin’ tears in...

As far as I’m concerned, men like you were put on this world to entertain women like me.

Bobby Tom’ll tell you he’s not afraid of nuclear war, so I wouldn’t put too much stock in his opinion.

You try spending six months sitting at somebody’s bedside, waiting for them to die and then tell me that the happy-ending love story isn’t one of God’s good gifts.

If you want me, you’ll have to earn me. And, mister, I don’t come cheap.

Él rezaba para que sus alas de ángel la mantuvieran a salvo.

If you ‘re serious about getting it on again, be sure to give me some advance notice, so I can grab my appointment calendar and block out three minutes.

When that bastard calls back, you tell him he’s won this round. I’ll marry him. But I don’t take well to being blackmailed, and tell him I intend to spend the rest of my life...

Damn. It looks to me like I just missed the best reunion since Sherman got together with Atlanta.

He shook his head. “The next time I hear a women going on about how neurotic men are, I’m going to remember this. You tell me you like my body, and what do I say?...

He gave Dancer one last pat. ‘You’re luckier than you know, pal. Living without a set of balls makes life a lot less complicated.

wouldn’t you like to make sure all those millions you give to Uncle Sam went to schools and hospitals instead of nuclear warheads?’As a matter of fact, he would. Playgrounds for big kids, preschool programs...

I guess we’re oil and water. (Phoebe)I’d say we’re more like gasoline and a blowtorch. (Dan)

He’d lapped at her ankles like a lovesick pup, and she’d been exactly what she was now, a woman born too beautiful and too rich to worry about a small thing like integrity.