Quotes.wiki
  • Home
  • Tags
  • Authors
  • Contact Us
">
Quotes.wiki
Quotes.wiki
  • Home
  • Tags
  • Authors
  • Contact Us
Humor  Quotes
over protective? a butler in a grade- B movie? someones jewish mother? you got it

—Margaret Weis

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
DragonsHumorZifnab
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Growing up is the dumbest thing I ever wanted to rush into.

—Tanya Masse

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
Growing-UpHumorLife
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Oh, I can’t help quoting you, because everything that you said rings true.

—Morrissey

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorLyricsMusic
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
I can’t name just one example. Then there’s only one.

—Brian Spellman

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
ConfusionDouble-EntendreEducational
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Erre es korakas, Blinky!” Dionysus cursed. “I will have your soul!

—Rick Riordan

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
DionysusHumorOlympians
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Jack, be nimble, Jack, be quickJill’s a little whore and her alibis are dirty tricks

—Set it

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
BandsFunnyHumor
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
My life is so bad that it’s worse than it really is.

—Brian Spellman

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorLifePerception
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
The thing I hate the most about advertising is that it attracts all the bright, creative and ambitious young people, leaving us mainly with the slow and self-obsessed to become our artists.. Modern art is...

—Banksy

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
ArtCreativityGraffiti
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
My doctor told me to avoid unnecessary stress, so I stopped going to doctors.

—Shira Tamir

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (4 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
DoctorDoctorsHumor
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Self talk and self prayer: When you audible the first and correctly interpret, the white coats correct you in a nuthouse. When you audible the second and misinterpret, the dinner coats swear you to an...

—Brian Spellman

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
AtheismHumorOaths
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that’s when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a...

—Demetri Martin

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
ComedianComedyDemetri-Martin
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Comedy is a great tool. We are trying to find ways to use humor to enlighten people without preaching to them.

—Trevor Noah

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
ComedyEnlightenFind-Ways
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
It’s easier to win an argument over a dinner you’re paying for.

—Jarod Kintz

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
ArgueArgumentDebate
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Hello, Bradley,’ said Mom. She’d regained her composure after my outburst, and now raised her camera. ‘Stand close.”No, Mom,’ I said. ‘No pictures.”But you’re friend’s here now,’ she said, waving us together. ‘Smile!”I don’t need...

—Dan Wells

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
DanceHilariousHumor
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
90% of life is showing up. I’m staying home to wait for the other 10%.

—Brian Spellman

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorPessimism
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
I don’t need a personal trainer… I need someone to stalk me and threaten to kick my ass when I eat and drink stuff I’m not supposed to!

—Tanya Masse

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
Comic-Strip-MamaComicsFunny
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
You might as well laugh at yourself,everyone else is.

—B.J. Neblett

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (4 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorIronyLaughter
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
I finally decided what I want to be when I grow up – late.

—Brian Spellman

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorImmaturityMaturity
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Why no s for two deer,but an s for two monkeys?Brother Quang saysno one knows.So much for rules!Whoever invented English should be bitten by a snake.

—Thanhha Lai

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
EnglishGrammarHumor
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Lightning doesn’t thunder twice. Let that be a lesson in love.

—Jarod Kintz

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (2 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorLessonLife
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her

—Shikamaru Nara

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
AnimeFunnyGreat
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
An apple a day feeds the tapeworm to stay.

—Brian Spellman

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HealthHumorIllness
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
You know, it really doesn`t matter what (the media) write as long as you`ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.

—Donald Trump

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (2 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorMediaTrump
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
All art is but dirtying the paper delicately.

—John Ruskin

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
ArtDrawingDrawings
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
I was accused of always acting superior. Always means being, not acting.

—Brian Spellman

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
ArroganceConceitDouble-Entendre
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
It’s a lazy Saturday afternoon, there’s a couple lying naked in bed reading Encyclopediea Brittannica to each other, and arguing about whether the Andromeda Galaxy is more ‘numinous’ than the Ressurection. Do they know how...

—Carl Sagan

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorNerdsReligion
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
A fit, healthy body—that is the best fashion statement

—Jess C.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
BeautyBodyBody-Image
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Always think backwards before moving forwards

—Benny Bellamacina

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (5 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorLifeLove
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Love flows like flowers, and grows like water. I’m so thirsty for romance I could drink a dozen roses.

—Jarod Kintz

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
BeautifulBeautyDrink
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
If it was my business, I wouldn’t talk about it. It is very vulgar to talk about one’s business. Only people like stockbroker’s do that, and then merely at dinner parties.

—Oscar Wilde

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
AlgernonBusinessDinner-Party
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
I don’t mean to be rude—” he began, in a tone that threatened rudeness in every syllable.”Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often,” Dumbledore finished the sentence gravely.

—J.K. Rowling

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorRude
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Nobody can be bad at everything. There’s no such thing as a perfect screwup.

—Jim Butcher

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
Harry-DresdenHumor
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Mom lied. The crust is the shittiest part.

—Brian Spellman

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorMothersPessimism
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
You can’t shame a shameless man, you can only remind him of the awesome shit he’s done.

—Captain Perverto

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorIndividuality
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
We’re all odd balls; some people are just better at pretending to be even

—Benny Bellamacina

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (4 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorLifePeople
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
If you only go around once in life, then why has that one gone around more than once?

—Brian Spellman

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
ConfusionHumorLife
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Uh, normally she doesn’t judo-flip people.

—Rick Riordan

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
Annabeth-ChaseHeroes-Of-OlympusHumor
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Who’s stupid now, Jimbo?!

—April Henry

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
AwesomeCharacterFunny-As-Hell
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
If the weight comes from bacon you can so deduct it off the scale total to get your true weight. #science

—Michelle M.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
BaconComedyDiet
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Even men of the noblest possible moral character are extremely susceptible to the influence of the physical charms of others. Modern, no less then Ancient History, supplies us with many most painful examples of what...

—Oscar Wilde

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
BeautyHumorMen
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
It is awfully hard work doing nothing. However, I don’t mind hard work where there is no definite object of any kind. -Algernon

—Oscar Wilde

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorProcrastination
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
That’s art. Nothing is for everybody.

—Brian Spellman

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
ArtDouble-EntendreHumor
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Humor can make a serious difference. In the workplace, at home, in all areas of life – looking for a reason to laugh is necessary. A sense of humor helps us to get through the...

—Steve Goodier

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
AdversityBoredomCope
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
John Adams warned of the division of America into two great political parties. Luckily, the parties we ended up with are mediocre at best.

—John Alejandro King

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
ComedyFunnyHumor
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
I spilled semen everywhere. No wonder the world is overpopulated.

—Jarod Kintz

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorOverpopulationPeople
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Life is short unless agony is long.

—Brian Spellman

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorLife-PhilosophyPain
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Only a female could be as calculating and have the foresight that destiny requires,’ the gypsy explained. ‘Now fate is a man,’ he went on, ‘no planning, just go with the flow and see what...

—Traci Harding

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (2 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorWisdom
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
I like video games, but they’re really violent. I’d like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It’d be called ‘Really Busy Hospital.

—Demetri Martin

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
ComediansDemetri-MartinFunny
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.

—Demetri Martin

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
HumorWit
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
How’d you get to be so good at this?””I had a good teacher.””Better not have been Myrnin or I’ll have to kick his predatory ass.””I mean you, dummy.””Oh.

—Rachel Caine

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, 5.00 )Loading...
Claire-DanversFunnyGhost-Town
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblr
  • Page 1 of 356
  • Next
  • Terms of Service
  • Privacy Policy
  • About us

Copyright © 2017 - 2020 TR Marketing Group, Inc. All rights reserved.

Do Not Sell My Personal Information

Exercise your consumer rights by contacting us below Privacy Policy

[email protected]

Personalized advertisements

Turning this off will opt you out of personalized advertisements delivered from Google on this website.

CookiePro
Confirm
Popup Button popup close button