Always think backwards before moving forwards
Oh, I can’t help quoting you, because everything that you said rings true.
Mom lied. The crust is the shittiest part.
We’re all odd balls; some people are just better at pretending to be even
I spilled semen everywhere. No wonder the world is overpopulated.
That’s art. Nothing is for everybody.
Life is short unless agony is long.
All art is but dirtying the paper delicately.
Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
There is a meaning of life but I’ve been sworn to secrecy.
Uh, normally she doesn’t judo-flip people.
Oh, man,” Xavier groaned. “See what you’ve done–now I’m stressing.””You can’t! You’re the stable one!”Xavier laughed and I realized his distress had been feigned to illustrate a point. He wasn’t worried in the slightest.”Just relax....
A fit, healthy body—that is the best fashion statement
I can’t name just one example. Then there’s only one.
It’s easier to win an argument over a dinner you’re paying for.
Nobody can be bad at everything. There’s no such thing as a perfect screwup.
My life is so bad that it’s worse than it really is.
Lightning doesn’t thunder twice. Let that be a lesson in love.
The most pleasant and alluring curve on a woman is the smile
90% of life is showing up. I’m staying home to wait for the other 10%.
You might as well laugh at yourself,everyone else is.
I finally decided what I want to be when I grow up – late.
An apple a day feeds the tapeworm to stay.
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