Why, when people are leaving their partners because they’re having an affair with someone else, do they think it will seem better to pretend there is no one else involved? Do they think it will...

I think it is a kind of subject matter that needed exploring … the identity of the single woman had not caught up with what was happening. Which was that a lot of perfectly attractive,...

Can officially confirm that the way to a man’s heart these days is not through beauty, food, sex, or alluringness of character, but merely the ability to seem not very interested in him.

Rules for Living by Olivia Joules1. Never panic. Stop, breathe, think.2. No one is thinking about you. They’re thinking about themselves, just like you.3. Never change haircut or color before an important event.4. Nothing is...

I do think New Year’s resolutions can’t technically be expected to begin on New Year’s Day, don’t you? Since, because it’s an extension of New Year’s Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and...

When someone leaves you, apart from missing them, apart from the fact that the whole little world you’ve created together collapses, and that everything you see or do reminds you of them, the worst is...

I looked at him nonplussed. I realized that I have spent so many years being on a diet that the idea that you might actually need calories to survive has been completely wiped out of...

It is a truth universally acknowledged that as soon as one part of your life starts looking up, another falls to pieces.

As women glide from their twenties to thirties, Shazzer argues, the balance of power subtly shifts. Even the most outrageous minxes lose their nerve, wrestling with the first twinges of existential angst: fears of dying...

Resolution number one: Obviously will lose twenty pounds. Number two: Always put last night’s panties in the laundry basket. Equally important, will find sensible boyfriend to go out with and not continue to form romantic...

Dieting on New Year’s Day isn’t a good idea as you can’t eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I...

Tom has a theory that homosexuals and single women in their thirties have natural bonding: both being accustomed to disappointing their parents and being treated as freaks by society.

It’s all chop-change chop-change with you. Either go out with me and treat me nicely, or leave me alone. As I say, I am not interested in fuckwittage.

Am I seeing the characters of the original diary or the characters from the film?

No one is thinking about you. They’re thinking about themselves, just like you.

Being a woman is worse than being a farmer there is so much harvesting and crop spraying to be done: legs to be waxed, underarms shaved, eyebrows plucked, feet pumiced, skin exfoliated and moisturised, spots...

I said ‘no,’ because I didn’t want to expose myself in that way. But I said, ‘But I will do this character if you want.’ And they said ‘Great!’ And of course now everyone thinks...

I mean, I haven’t rushed to the answerphone once to see if anyone’s aware of my existence in the world!

Keep thinking back about what Mum said about being real and the Velveteen Rabbit book (though frankly have had enough trouble with rabbits in this particular house). My favorite book, she claims of which I...

I recently bought a house in L.A., and I was so pleased with myself. I thought I had arrived and I was going to be glamorous and live in Hollywood and it was going to...

I began to think I quite liked her really. It’s always so nice to meet someone more badly behaved than oneself.

Maybe there are just some men like that in the world, I thought. Men who have to be in charge, who have to punish those who awaken feelings in them which they cannot control. Men...

I’ve only done some work on (the screenplay), and I find it very difficult, actually. Because you can really get away with murder in a book. You write ’round so many things, you can describe...

When he’s hot, he’s hot; when he’s not, he’s not. But at least there is always food

Roxster, my photo is of an egg.

I think that almost accidentally I hit on something that is quite fundamental to women, which is this gap between how we feel we’re expected to be and how we actually are,

One minute you’re closer to someone than anyone in the whole world, next minute they need only to say the words ‘time apart’, ‘serious talk’ or ‘maybe you…’ and you’re never going to see them...

I think something had gone a bit wrong with the translation, because one of the reviewers said to me ‘Bridget Jones’s Diary’ was a ‘transcendental study of existential despair.’ So, naturally, I was delighted that...

Eventually, I manage to cheer Mum up by allowing her to go through my wardrobe and criticize all my clothes…

Rules for Living by Olivia Joules14) Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.and then the new one from Elsie, added at the bottom:15) Don’t regret anything. Remember there wasn’t anything else that could...

I wasn’t involved in the casting at that state, but I think it was a good idea. I think she’s one of those actresses where you can dress her up or dress her down. She...

Oh God, what’s wrong with me? Why does nothing ever work out?