It’s easier to win an argument over a dinner you’re paying for.
To save space and money, Thor and my mom work in the same office, which is basically like a converted closet, only smaller. In keeping with the frugal and Puritanical mindset, they even share the same chair. It’s a wooden chair with its back cut off and a pillow on top for padding, and Thor...
I ejaculate confidence. My self-esteem might impregnate you.
It’s not if, but when I’ll if on you that matters. How does Tuesday at noon sound?
I’ll be waiting in my trunk, with the engine of your car.
I’m not interested in you as a person. I am, however, interested in you as a banana.
Quick! Hide under my 3:33 am, but don’t pet my 3:33 pm.
Nine out of ten Jarod Kintzes agree that there is only one Jarod Kintz.
I’m the kind of guy who turns my fan on in winter, only to then go and add another blanket on top of my bed. I practice inefficiency even while I sleep, so I’ll be prepared to one day be a politician.
A brick could be renamed something clever and cute, like President, and repackaged and resold to a solid base of sheep consumers every four years. The sheeple will never even notice that every new model of brick is exactly like the last brick!