It’s easier to win an argument over a dinner you’re paying for.
Lightning doesn’t thunder twice. Let that be a lesson in love.
I have the heart of a lion, and the circulatory system of a lamb.
I’m picketing pickpockets, because I hate politicians.
A politician is a person whose brain is as jiggly as Jell-O, only not as intelligent.
I’m the Robert the Bruce of Bruces. I’m also the Robert the Bruce of Roberts.
I wear a jockstrap with my gun holster (loaded with fruits and vegetables).
I accept all people—even the people I find unacceptable.
Branding is marketing and networking. It’s netmarking.
What you consider gross—dead rats—I consider considerate gifts.
Today you win, and tomorrow I’ll steal your trophy.
Two former students of mine are getting married. Congrats, grandpa and grandpa!