That is fuckin’ awesome. I mean fuckin’ awesome. I fuckin’ mean fucking awesome. You are one Big Swinging Dick, and don’t ever let anybody tell you different.” It brought tears to my eyes to hear it, to be called a Big Swinging Dick by the man who, years ago, had given birth to the distinction...

The boomerang is Australia’s chief export (and then import).

…I gotta burn these scales… sigh*

Monday is Teacher Appreciation Day, and I was thinking of making a nice quiche for Miss Keener.

No one ever thinks about the guy who was raised by the guy who was raised by wolves.

A lie near to truth is always difficult to catch

Listen carefully, Lucas Steele, because I will only say this once. I am NOT your mate, I will never be your mate, and if you ever put your hands on me again I will cut them off along with other body parts you might want to use one day. Got it?” Jacque told him with...

Fact: The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.

Hotel Conundrum: The continental breakfast. What is it that makes continents so shitty at providing an adequate breakfast?

THE Biggest enemy of Truth is known as Facts in our Society

Why does everything so bad for you always taste so dreamy?

Austin and I proceeded to knock back a couple of Ketel One and grapefruit juices, which happened to be my drink of the moment. Someone told me that grapefruit was a great detoxifier and I decided I wanted to start cleaning out my liver WHILE I was having a cocktail.

If there is anything a _ _ _ _ _ hates it’s a drooping mustache

Just tell him to keep his hands to himself and his python in his pants.

Marriage is the equivalent of trying to live with a bug perpetually up your nose.”D’Artagnan Bloodhawke

In short, we derive support for our preferred conclusions by listening to the words that we put in the mouths of people who have already been preselected for their willingness to say what we want to hear.

Do I look like I’m compelled to do anything? Do I seriously look like anyone could compel me to even bring them a coaster?”She looked me over again. “You look like you’re compelled to cause trouble, but I doubt that’s the boss’ directive.

In some sort of crude sense, which no vulgarity, no humor, no overstatement can quite extinguish, the physicists have known sin; and this is a knowledge which they cannot lose.

Scott had some sort of power, or force field. In essence, he was like fucking gay guy repellant. Not a single gay guy would come anywhere near me, let alone talk to or hit on me when he was around.

There’s a place for farts, and there’s a place for sharts.

He thought moving to a small town would allow him to find a way to get along to some extent but people were just plain idiots.

Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win.

Mary Lou et moi, on est amies depuis qu’on est toutes petites. J’étais le boute-en-train de service, et elle, le cancre de la classe. « Cancre » n’est peut-être pas le mot juste. Disons que ses objectifs n’étaient pas très hauts. Elle voulait se marier et fonder une famille. Et si elle pouvait épouser le...

I only have so much willpower, Helen,” he whispered. “And since you apparently sleep in the most ridiculously transparent tank top I’ve ever seen, I’m going to have to ask you to get under the covers before I do something stupid.

Being here? With you? I’ve met my subconscious, and he’s not that sick.

Not that we’re prejudiced,” Theo teased.

Wisdom of the Ages: Another Bush in the White House-Yep they keep forgetting to grab the TV and silverware.

Wisdom of the Ages: “National Symbol” With the preponderance of lawyers, banksters, arms, drug and tobacco dealers in our government, shouldn’t our national symbol be changed from the eagle to the vulture?

Damn.

Am I breaking the law right now?

I love you?

He was a good guy. He was very good at what he did. He had a good sense of humor.

…hoping that he might peek through a gap in the fance and see that Patch was really a big softy, all bark and no bite, or, as they sometimes say in England, “All mouth and no trousers”!

If God gave Abraham a ram to prevent his slaying Isaac, He might stick a donkey in the bush for me to ride up this infernal mountainside.”~ Grace Madison, PhD.

He’s given me enough homework to last ten years. I’m gonna die of nerdism.” Jason said.

My libido was doing the humpy dance while dressed in Milkbone pasties and a thong.

She was the only doctor’s wife in Branford, Maine, who hung her wash on an outdoor clothesline instead of putting it through a dryer, because she liked to look out the window and see the clothes blowing in the wind. She had been especially delighted, one day, when one sleeve of the top of her...

Anthony Bridgerton hátradőlt bőr karosszékében, elgondolkodva kortyolta a whiskyt; lötykölte, körbe áramoltatta a pohárban, majd megszólalt: – Arra gondoltam, hogy megnősülök.Benedict Bridgerton, aki éppen azon szokását gyakorolta, amit anyja annyira megvetett, nevezetesen székét két hátsó lábára billentve kissé kapatosan hintázott, erre lehuppant.Colin Bridgerton félrenyelt.Colin szerencséjére Benedict éppen időben nyerte vissza egyensúlyát, hogy erőteljesen hátba verje,...

Water is the most essential element in life, because without it you can’t make coffee.

I wouldn’t miss this fake-homo show for all the Gucci Shoes on Rodeo Drive.

It’s a good thing, right, when an author gets turned on by the dirty scenes they write?!

If I could out run the Angel of Death I’d probably die from lack of breath!

It’s mind-blowing and delicious and betterthan finding a pot of gold, a unicorn, and a leprechaun who shits diamonds atthe end of a rainbow.

I would never have broken up with you,” I said earnestly. “I’m more miserable without you than I am with you.” As soon as that sentence came out I groaned, because I knew how bad it sounded.But Declan laughed. “Vintage Simon Murray comment.

Fo’. Shiz.

They really adore each other offstage and have a very similar sense of humor. These are qualities they bring onstage, and that makes for a very real relationship.

Si el universo fuese un vestido,,cuál te pondrías esta noche?

When just a kid, moved back to Canada and looking for a taste of England, I’d picked up a book of my Gram’s, a dog-eared romance from the ’sixties about English hospital ‘sisters’ trying to get it on with the doctors, and thought it very shocking behaviour for nuns.

A woman never forgets her age once she decides what it is.

Everybody says I am NOBODY,and you know NOBODY is Perfect.