When would he learn that women never stayed where you put them?

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

I had done Shrek as a Canadian and I’m very proud to be Canadian, but I knew I could give more to it.

You would be surprised of films that people just don’t see. You know what I mean? I’m always working and I’m a film buff but I’m an old school film buff.

I often think about a life of crime. But alas, politics isn’t for me.

Pressure is something you feel when you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.

A blanket could be used as a lovely rug, a rug that just so happens to be covering a large hole, you should really feel this rug!

The ocean waves were choppy. Good thing I know karate and was able to fight back.

I squared my shoulders, trying to ignore the fact that I was standing in the apartment of the sea witch, wearing a fairy-tale prom gown, waiting for the attack of the mermaids.

Maturity.” My dad backed out of the room and closed the door.

I want to meet a guy named Art. I’d take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave.

It’s hard to believe someone who walks around commanding so much attention with his acute cockiness, hard muscles, and tattoos would ever let someone like me bring him to his knees-and make no mistake, I...

I’m a guy. Unless the dirt attacks first, I leave it in peace.

Goodbyes, they often come in waves.

I enjoy self-publishing & sending publishers rejection letters. They’re like, ‘Who is this guy?’ And I’m like, ‘the end of your industry.

I would feel infinitely more comfortable in your presence if you would agree to treat gravity as a law, rather than one of a number of suggested options.

Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies.

Bücher haben Ehrgefühl. Wenn man sie verleiht, kommen sie nicht mehr zurück.

People change, just wait

This morning my girlfriend was so loud in bed that we woke up the neighbors. So I told them to roll over and go back to sleep.

Words were his delight; Hers, a gay gracefulnessOf dancing and moving. But when to the place Of deep loving (Starlight at midnight)At last they came, Their full communion And consummation,Their complete sphere,Was stillness for her,Silence...

How are you feeling?”I leaned away from him. “Gross.”Aiden frowned. “Gross?””I haven’t brushed my teeth or washed my face in days. Don’t come near me.”He laughed. “Alex, come on.””Seriously, I’m gross.” I put my hand...

I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing.

Percy: I’ll walk down to the cabins and Connor and Travis are stealing stuff from the camp store, and Silena is arguing with Annabeth trying to give her a new makeover, and Clarisse is still...

Caroline, do you value your neck?””Yes, I’m rather fond of it. Why?””Because if you don’t shut up, I’m going to wring it.

You promise?””I cross the place where my heart used to be and wish to be even more deader than I am now.

A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.

His heavy-lidded gaze reflected a languor that had nothing to do with having just awakened, and there was no doubt what was on his mind. But this is no safe cherry picker, Gwen thought, growing...

Insider trading is a serious crime. Do you know what the penalty for doing it is? Nothing, if you’re a member of Congress.

It wasn’t until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I’m just behind the jokes.

Besides my professional goals, I have a couple of private ones, my man. One of those is to pet a kangaroo before I leave Australia. I understand there’s lots of Eastern Grays around this area....

On the scale of tomato to ketchup, my girlfriend is definitely a 57.

Fang let out a low whistle. “Anyone know that Amazons could ride a giant bird?”Ethon gave him a duh stare. “Those of us who fought them, yeah, we know. How you think they keep kicking...

Shane, honey, in Morganville, friends are the only things that keep you alive.

Truth.” But they can’t be searching too hard, because very few of them ever think to look under my bed.

Stay in the car Nick””okay.”Ash gets out abd goes to look at the dead body.”For an immortal being with 11,000 years under his belt Ash sure is stupid.” Nick gets out and sees the blood.”That’s...

I decided early in graduate school that I needed to do something about my moods. It quickly came down to a choice between seeing a psychiatrist or buying a horse. Since almost everyone I knew...

done coma, walking/talking,art, cookery. scouts then wrote two books, asked for help, gave a book to HRH Princess Anne, tried publisher, got another DEGREE, now Google Gillian Mk2, what else can I do?

Never grow up!

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.

I wanna live ’til I die, no more, no less.

What we’ve got here is a lunatic genius ghost-in-the-computer monorail that likes riddles and goes faster than the speed of sound. Welcome to the fantasy version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

I tried to picture a bunch of guys in blue suits running around a beachside neighborhood, knocking on doors and flashing Fed creds. That should cause a stampede of illegal aliens heading south.

I left my phone number on a napkin, along with trace amounts of spaghetti sauce and garlic bread grease, hoping she’d call me. And when she didn’t, I panicked and filed a missing person’s report...

I’ve never been arrested. I’ve been stopped, searched and had a gun put to my head by the Chicago cops.

I’m not joking this time. If I see it, it’s mine, and you won’t get it back at the end of the school year.” I growled, deep and long, savoring the feel of the vibrations...

The next best thing to making love to a mermaid, is having sex with a fish.

Now defend what is ours, my partner.”He grinned … grinned! … and whirled to meet Myrnin in midleap as Myrnin attacked.

When have I ever given him the impression that I was okay with him just stopping by whenever he wanted to use my body as an organic garbage disposal?

I have a fear of palindromes. Maybe because the only person to ever beat the hell out of me was a man named Bob.