What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.

We have in the last two years, we have passed 350 legislation in the parliament, most of which deal with democratization, human rights, and of course, economy.

My car would look better with a mustache for a bumper. Then pedestrians would know that I am a superior lover, just before I hit on them.

Travis: I didn’t know they made permanent makeup. I looked like a clown for a month.Connor: Yeah. They put a curse on me so that no matter what I wore, my clothes were two sizes...

Yeah, it’s a kodak moment. Quick, take a picture.Sarah scoffs. I stick my tongue out at her.

I just yawned. Now that is exciting. Almost as thrilling as making love to me thirty minutes after I’ve fallen asleep.

Something…normal,” he finally said.

It’s just amazing how long this country has been going to hell without ever having got there.

We spent the whole evening conversing like I was mute and she was deaf. I didn’t talk and she didn’t listen, and that’s what made me think we might be in love.

In ’87, I used to do this awful, awful James Brown impression.

He executed his commission with great promptitude and dispatch, only calling at one public-house for half a minute, and even that might be said to be in his way, for he went in at one...

You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night.

You know, there are just some things you never expect to face even on this job. A flying primate that shoots fire out its nose is one of them.

Got plans for the rest of the day?”I looked back at him and my heart just stopped. Then it just started again thudding erratically. What the hell does that mean? I feel like I’m having...

Great minds think alike-especially when they are female.

What’s the deal with this Malachai?” Xevikan”I don’t know. I just joined him myself. But he seems level. Decent even.” Zavid”He’s with a half-daeve turncoat, a Charonte, and an Aamon, and you don’t find that...

The coffee’s done? I LOVE IT WHEN THE COFFEE’S DONE!

My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn’t have sex quite so often.

Oooo…He’s being a saucy motherfu*ker tonight. He does wrong and I’m the one who gets treated like the whore of Babylon. Fine, he wants a show I’ll give him a damn show.

The Brit’s face shares a heritage with a junkyard butt-sniffing mutt. It’s a hard-earned moonshine mug, dotted with a hairy mole that looks like a rat’s been gnawing on it. His beard looks like a...

She didn’t care that people called her a bitch. ‘It’s just another word for feminist,’ she told me with pride.

Nevermind nomenclatures, boy! What a serendipitous situation this is!

Is there any good news?’ Tesla said.Who ever promised that? Who ever said there’d be good news?

I said I’d drive to her place. But she lives in her car, so I don’t see why she couldn’t just drive her place to my place.

In my experience with women that I’ve dated and my wife now, is you have to know what they care about. And even if you aren’t a huge fan of it, you still have to...

She was teaching Lilykit and Seedkit how to reach under the wall of the warriors’ den and catch stray tails yesterday.

Let’s say she’s a friend of the family.

Barzûl!

Don’t look now, but that’s my ex over there.”Surely I’m not the only one who takes “don’t look now” as “there’s no better time than now.” I looked.”Bad, Ali!” Another slap to my arm. “Bad,...

Given a choice between goose egg and heartache, I would choose heartache.

Fanya kazi kwa bidii na maarifa!

A brick could be used to replace the brother you never had. Well, it’s only a possibility, but you probably won’t like it, because as soon as your parents gain another child, you’ll quickly find...

Oh, Mel, don’t worry. I’ve been hunting with your husband—the deer are completely safe.

I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.

A blanket could be used to stop a train. Another good thing to use would be brakes. I’ll sell you a set of train breaks for the price of a warm night’s sleep.

Stella explained that when he had arrived, because of his English accent, she had assumed that he was me, and had asked where his fridge was. She didn’t tell me what his reply was, and...

I tore off another chuck of muffin and stared down at my chest. I shrugged and dabbed the muffin in the cum and popped it in my mouth. “I can’t believe you just did that!”...

A blanket could be used for a soft opening of a new casino. The softer the better, I always say. Well, I don’t always say that. I say other stuff too.

I learned much more about acting from philosophy courses, psychology courses, history and anthropology than I ever learned in acting class.

Look, why don’t you go talk to Ron about all this?” Harry asked.”Well, I would, but he’s always asleep when I go and see him!” said Lavender fretfully.”Is he?” said Harry, surprised, for he had...

Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.

When you have a person in power who punishes people for speaking their mind, it’s truly dangerous.

You’re nice.” He sounds pleased, as if he hadn’t expected this aspect of my personality.

Hackers are nerdy, pasty, tubby, little geeks with triple thick glasses and this is probably a demented otaku with smelly feet. So catching him will be a breeze!

If I hadn’t become a celebrity, I’d probably be an alcoholic.

A blanket cold be used as truth. At least it’s so warm, it must be used that way.

A ham sandwich is better than nothing. Nothing is better than eternal happiness. So eternal happiness is beaten by a ham sandwich.

My mother, my psychiatrist and an assortment of sedatives eventually convinced me I was delusional.

A brick could be used to stop time. I did it once at my uncle’s house, and I nearly wrecked the universe. He wanted to spank me, but decided not to, because he was afraid...

Excuse me?” I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. “Coffee? I thought we came here for pie.” “I don’t eat the kind of pie they serve here.” I felt a flash of heat go...