The life I’ve livedWhat more can one ask forApart from a grand exitSlit of the wristTotal bliss

You might as well laugh at yourself,everyone else is.

I can be quite sarcastic when I’m in the mood.

… And I wondered if we had disappointed God so much, that he wrote us off as pets, just alive to entertain.

Andrew just shrugged, and I fiddled with the napkin in my lap while glancing idly around the restaurant. The obligatory mirrors hung on the walls, and there was one of those fountains with fake lily...

Jace said that the cast of Gilligan’s Island could do something anatomically unlikely with themselves.

I know a lie when I hear one.

Sarcasm.

That’s a good attitude. You should hate me more, curse me more, and detest me! Then you should take the power of that hatred and use it to survive this rotten world.

It would be the last thing he did if he beat my dog.

I suppose the latest thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your wife.

Charming. We’re going to be murdered in our beds.

Alert me if you’re attacked by a rabbit.

I don’t understand German myself. I learned it at school, but forgot every word of it two years after I had left, and have felt much better ever since.

This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic.

The Amulet of Samarkand. It was Simon Lovelace’s. Now it is yours. Soon it will be Simon Lovelace’s again. Take it and enjoy the consequences.

I’m telling you, you really should stick to mating within your species, whatever that is.”I would,’ I said, ‘but unfortunately, there are no gorgeous, all-powerful, all-knowing gods around here. I’d even settle for a demigod....

I have no doubt that they’ll tell you a lot of kind things about me when my back is turned. They may not have been behind the door when God passed out the pretty faces,...

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Felicity and Ann hunched over their ornaments as if they were fascinating relics from an archaeological dig. I note that their shoulders are trembling, and...

We don’t have dealings. He just stalks me. I’m popular like that.

Okay, can you pass yourself off as a magician and gain Gerald’s trust and pass us information about Celeste’s plans and save all the magicians who want to be saved? Jaime asked. “Because if so...

Hey, Carlos,” the Professor says when he walks in. “How was REACH?””It sucked.””Can you be more specific?” my guardian asks.”It really sucked,” I elaborate, sarcasm dripping from every word.

As a general rule, I preferred not to have my soul reaped.

I don’t know what it is about “magic happens”-stickers on cars but every time I see one I wanna get out my permanent marker and sneak over and write underneath it “so does cot death”.

Katniss: ‘What about you? Ive seen you in the market. You can lift hundred pound bags of flour’. I snap at himTell him that. Thats not nothing.Peeta: Yes and Im sure the arena will be...

Strange though it is,Sarov still cares about you. He told me to leave you alone. But I think, this time, I must disobey the general. You are mine! And I intend to make you suffer…””Just...

What? You mean this crap shack isn’t part of the Four Seasons. Shocking.

Don’t tell me,” Jace said, “Simon’s turned himself into an ocelot and you want me to do something about it before Isabelle makes him into a stole. Well, you’ll have have to wait till tomorrow....

Wow, that’s original.

Why is a man with a knife after your blood? Who sent him? I would like to write the fellow a letter of thanks!

We all love each other, Ange,” I said impatiently, hating this whole conversation. “No, not like this,” she went on relentlessly. “Fang loves you.”……My mouth dropped open. How does she know this stuff? “Forget it!...

Right. I can tell from the bat wings and the leeches that you three are just all happy-smiles and rainbows.

don’t play role in Drama that i well know about the content of script. i can count your steps after this. don’t forget who’s the director!

No one referred toFearghus the Destroyer as the life of anyone’s party.

Silverstream: You idiot!!! What are you doing in my territory???Graystripe:…Drowning?Silverstream: Can’t you do that in your own territory?Graystripe: Ah, but who would rescue me there?

Oh! I know what I wanted to tell you – you’ll never guess who Thomas is chasing after now…”Hmmm, never guess or can’t be bothered to guess – it was a hard call. I yawned...

Mmm, yeah. It’s that thing people do to make money.

Yeah, over my scattered panties, I asked him to dinner and told him to bring a friend.” – Laney

Spacebar,” trying to translate the synth chords into a piano bit on the fly. It had been a million years since I’d played it.But it was still catchy.Whoever had written this song had known what...

Facebook is that successful guy you’re supposed to want to date, but you can’t keep your mind off the beautiful freak in the corner. Twitter is my freak.

I used to jog but it’s bad for the knees. Too much beta carotene turns you orange, too much calcium gives you kidney stones. Health kills.

I don’t know. They haven’t been in school for a while.

Cordelia glared at me. ‘I expect if someone strapped you to table an swung an axe over your naked quivering flesh like The Pit and the Pendulum, you’d be correcting his grammar’.

He made a sound of disgust in the back of his throat. “Oh thank you so much. That’s what every man wants to hear about his name. You might as well call me ‘Little Pecker’...

Was he hitting some type of werewolf midlife crisis? First, he’d left Wolf Town, and now he was envisioning a mate. What next? Bird watching? Board games? Retirement homes?

Great,’ I said. ‘Visit exotic Australia. Get bitten by an exotic snake. Die exotically.

I tried to step back quickly but James grabbed my hand. “C’mon,” he said “this’ll be fun.” Geez… What’s your definition of fun? Cuz mines not to possibly get killed my first day here. Or...

What?” For the first time since Jace had met him, Sebastian seemed flabbergasted.

You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.It’s really funny.

Why do you have a cigarette lighter in your glove compartment?” her husband, Jack, asked her. “I’m bored with knitting. I’ve taken up arson