The life I’ve livedWhat more can one ask forApart from a grand exitSlit of the wristTotal bliss

You might as well laugh at yourself,everyone else is.

I can be quite sarcastic when I’m in the mood.

I don’t want to be here when my latest work of accidental art is discovered.

Simon: So were you following me? Or is it just an amazing coincidence that you happened to be on the roof of a building I was walking by when I got attacked?Jace: I was following...

… As could the sarcasm in her voice. “yes, she’s bleeding to deat Lu upstairs, but i thought I’d avoid telling you right away, because I like to draw the suspense out.

I suppose that I found out two more constituents of the eternal engine: folly and curiosity.

It is said that truth comes from the mouths of fools and children: I wish every good mind which feels an inclination for satire would reflect that the finest satirist always has something of both...

You’re just a huge romantic at heart, aren’t you?””If there’s cash involved, I’m anything you want me to be.

I am patriotic. When the Pledge of Allegiance is going on, I solemnly place my right hand over my genitals.

It just takes one serious thought to change a person, either to one he always wanted to be or into one he never wished to be.

I am disinclined to know you.

Knock him out, Paris!”Sure. Want me to spew diamonds from my ass while I’m at it?

I don’t know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point.

If only there was enough space on this tiny card to evoke my unfettered joie de vivre for what you have done. The gaiety, the mirth, the heavenly bubbling of every effusive cell that sings...

Coincidences are like unicorns.you can believe in them all you want,but that doesn’t make them real

I’m good at being sarcastic with guys. They don’t want the quiet, prissy little things.

When you’re talking loud enough to wake the dead?” She swore she could feel steam coming out her ears.

By the way, if you get mad at your Mac laptop and wonder who designed this demonic device, notice the manufacturer’s icon on top: an apple with a bite out of it.

What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb.American novels, answered Lord Henry.

Rest assured you make perfectly good nonsense. I understand you one-hundred-percent not at all.

What do you do when you’re in a room of vampires and the most dangerous one tells you that youknow too much? You bolt. What did I do? I hyperventilated.

Ah, Proph.” Tom paused. “You did have a nightmare last night.””And here I thought maybe I dreamed it,” Prophet muttered sarcastically.

Sarcasm is a manifestation of anger, and anger can make you the puppet of your opponents.

You’ve read half the books in this house? This whole house?” “Well, approximately half.” Sticky said. “To be more accurate, I suppose I’ve read more like” – his eyes went up as he calculated –...

Excuse me if I feel skeptical,’ I said. ‘Coach’s foot fell off. How exactly do you propose to cure that? Superglue?

the [coat] rack above his head like a javelin.On the other side of the door was Jace. He blinked. “Is that a coatrack?”Jordan slammed the coatrack down on the ground and sighed. “If you’d been...

I sighed and deleted the message, imagining the dirty clothes multiplying like rabbits, because that’s what they do when I’m not around.

High School. Society’s bright idea to put all their aggressive, naive youth into one environment to torment and emotionally scar each other for life.

I love having to attend the one class that is being taught by a professor who feels that their class is the only class being taught at the University and gives nothing but busy work.

I used to be a mddle-of-the-road kid, but now with my freaky looks I’m definately an outsider. Hooray.

As an author, I like self-help, because clapping can be done by myself, for myself. I should buy gloves.

worms have crawled up your nose and eaten your wits.

The standard clauses of the American dream only included two weeks of vacation a year.

He just waited until I stopped talking and said, ‘Jesus, kid, you’re almost a detective. All you need now is a gun, a gut, and three ex-wives. So what’s your theory?

The students adore your father,’ a perfumed woman said to me. ‘Aren’t you lucky to live with such a charming man!”He’s even more charming at home,’ Mom said. ‘Isn’t he, Bea? He rides a unicycle...

At least that left hope for him. Except “Beauty and the Geek” wasn’t exactly the proper translation of the popular fairy tale.

Sorry, one night stands don’t stack up as credentials for tending bar.

Anyone that says his mind will be probably regarded a fool, but the true artist is not moved by the comments about the looks of his painting or remarks that are dreadfully sarcastic, but hearken...

What I really needed wasn’t a dose of school spirit; it was a glass of water, an aspirin the size of my fist, and the answers to the history exam that I hadn’t studied for...

As if I’d had time to drug it in the two milliseconds she’d let me out of her sight.

If you didn’t have me to rake you over the coals now and then, there wouldn’t be any fire in your life at all.

Mathilde returned and strolled past the drawing-room windows; she saw him busily engaged in describing to Madame de Fervaques the old ruined castles that crown the steep banks of the Rhine and give them so...

Using love as a bait and replacing respect with ego-pampering makes you a skillful social animal; unfortunately, all kinds of animals are less evolved than human beings. Would you like to evolve?

Ryn looks sideways at me and raises an eyebrow,”It’s big enough for two.”-“You’re joking right?Why don’t you pretend to be a gentleman and give me the bed?”He laughs. “Now you’re joking.”-“Of course.” I sigh. “I...

Natürlich mochte ich die, die nicht ich waren, nur selten.

You must have been going very fast.””I was, until I hit the fence.

If you are rude, cynical, habitually-sarcastic or pessimistic, your life options are going to be very limited.

He’s big as a fuckin’ house so I imagine it might be a bit of a problem.” The New Jersey accent that was still there after more than fifteen years in the south, resurfaced in...

I travel. Shit happens.