The first sign that Karma was now in cahoots with the Devil Incarnate to ruin her existance should’ve been before sunrise and pre-coffee.

A blanket could be used as a cover of your favorite song by your favorite cover band.

I feel now it’s useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I’ve decided if I can make people laugh, I’m making a more important...

So he slips his head off of Jeff’s shoulder and slides out from under Evan’s Armand shuffles down to the bottom of the bed. It doesn’t have a lot of dignity this part of their...

Rose’s work of art took her all day, including two playtimes, story time, and most of lunch.At the end of school it was stolen from her by the wicked teacher who had pretended to be...

I want an answer about my request to transfer. Even now, my balls are shrinking in anticipation of going back out in the cold. I said I’d give my life protecting humanity, but my balls...

I’m done. I’m going to go to bed and read important books about theater.””It would would be easier if you just said porn,” Scarlett said.”No idea what you’re talking about. But knock first if you...

I found this, though,” Gazzy said excitedly, holding up a small green box. “Gas-X! Like, ‘X’ for explosion! This is great! I’m thinking I rig this with a detonator and-“”Did you find that in the...

Does the giraffe know what he’s for? Or care? Or even think about his place in things? A giraffe has a black tongue twenty-seven inches long and no vocal cords. A giraffe has nothing to...

I felt like an animal, and animals don’t know sin, do they?

Are you sure this is a good idea?’ I ask.‘No,’ says Amber. ‘Let’s do it.

Not to alarm you or anything, but I think you just made a deal with a Mexican gang.” I’ve read Simone Elkeles books. I know how this whole garage as a front thing works.

She whistled when she noticed my back. I assume because of my injuries. I mean, my ass just isn’t that spectacular.

A brick could be cast in Samuel Jackson roles. It would be cheaper and more dramatic.

Often the inspiration to write music comes from the voices in your head. You’re not crazy. Just be thankful they are not making you rescue people in 20-degree weather at 2:30 in the morning in...

will I achieve this?no way.that’s not acknowledging me.i am on wrong way.i accept.

Blankets could be used to stop exponential population growth. If we kept the people warm, maybe they wouldn’t try to heat themselves up through continual fornication.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

If you put any effort into anything you do and have a strong sense of self to the point where you don’t even question your choices before you walk out of the house— you’re a...

I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right.

Well, don’t expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

We often hear that mathematics consists mainly of ‘proving theorems.’ Is a writer’s job mainly that of ‘writing sentences?

Cheese runners shouted at it, tried to grab it, and flailed at it with sticks, but the piratical cheese scythed onward, reaching the bottom just ahead of the terrible carnage of men and cheeses as...

Would you like to sit?” Kellen asked her.”You’d better do it soon,” Owen whispered close to her ear, “or I’m going to bend you over that table and break the club’s no-penetration-in-the-lounge rule.

And certainly, the mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it.

I wish I could believe that one person could make a difference.

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.

Yes, I kidnapped that Lindberg baby.

It’s just so sad what we’re willing to do for the Joey Spinellis of the world, you know?The mutilating, the tweezing, the enhancing, the plumping, the pinching, the waxing, the starving, the sweating, the bleaching....

When Eve ate the apple her knowledge increased. But God liked dumb women so Paradise ceased. Gwen Goodnight. Her Work.

Stomp stomp. Whirr. Pleased to be of service.Shut up.Thank you.Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp. Whirr. Thank you for making a simple door very happy.Hope your diodes rot.Thank you. Have a nice day.Stomp stomp stomp stomp....

Sounds great,” she said flatly then made a gagging sound.

You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it. But first, let me introduce myself.

Funyuns make you fart,” Caspian said, and I exploded in laughter.”What’s so funny?” Ben asked.I tried to stop laughing, but Caspian was leaning forward now, his face stck right in between us. “Funyuns give you...

Leave the cage open. If you love someone, give them a chance to leave. You can always lock them up again should they return to you.

In any given situation there will always be more dumb people than smart people. We ain’t many!

I am the washing machine of love. And if you have no idea what I mean, maybe it’s time to let some laundry into your life.

I watch the Eruptions. Mount Dad, long dormant, now considered armed and dangerous. Mount Saint Mom, oozing lava, spitting flame. Warn the villagers to run into the sea.

I’ve often wondered what makes a relationship last. I guess the best answer is it’s the one right after the next to the last one.

I think he fucked me stupid”- McKenzie Matthews- Being Beckett’s

Valkyrie walked to the back door, which hadn’t been closed properly, shut it and locked it. There was now a baby in the house, after all. She couldn’t take the chance that a wild animal...

A seven-figure civil suit?

I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones.

Halt,” said Horace, “I’ve been thinking…”Halt and Will exchanged an amused glance. “Always a dangerous pastime,” they chorused. For many years, it had been Halt’s unfailing response when Will had made the same statement. Horace...

I called an insurance company to get a quote. They gave me one of Oscar Wilde’s best.

Ahhhhh!

It will never belong in a Hallmark card, but I drove a car into a house and killed a man for you. You chained me up for days and I still wanted to come back...

Which college?”Hmm?”Which college do you go to?’Fletcher nodded. ‘Yes.”I’m sorry?”Oh,’ Fletcher said, and laughed.Valkyrie’s parents looked at Fletcher in near bewilderment. Fletcher looked back at them in total bewilderment. Valkyrie shook her head.

And For You Zero, A Life Sized Vudu Doll”-Kaname Kuran”I DONT WANT IT!”-Zero Kiryu”HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”-Juri Elizabeth Marin