Knowing where you come from is just as important as knowing who you aren’t. You aren’t your own clone.

I want a billion people to know my name as well as they know their own. I want to clone myself to fame.

During conversation, I have no problem making eye contact—with myself in the mirror. Or with my clone, if he’s not rolling his eyes because he knows what I’m going to say.

To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone.

I worry about identity theft. What’s to stop somebody from cloning me to drain the cash from my bank account? And it’d be just as easy for my clone to pretend to be me as...

My clones will look like me, and therefore I’ll treat them like myself—starting with spending all their hard-earned money. You can’t love someone else if you can’t first love yourself.

I want to win an award that doesn’t exist yet. Well, I want my clone to win it, and that’s almost the same thing—and he also doesn’t exist yet, so it’s perfect.

If my clone writes my biography, is it really an autobiography?

How would I know which one I was?

As a person, I have to claim my persona as my own. If I don’t, my clone will do it for me.

In a brave and noble way, I want to sacrifice my life one day so that two of my clones can live.

Is talking to your clone like talking to yourself, talking to someone else, both, or in the middle?

Any lustful fool can love a million women, but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times.

Freud was a fraud, but he’d probably think I have a complex of some kind. Anal, oral, Orafoural, etc. While most kids wanted to grow up to be an astronaut, one of Barbara Streisand’s bras,...

If my clone were standing next to me, I’d be beside myself with joy. I’d also be literally beside myself. In that case, I’ll bet you’d love me twice as much, huh?

On your birthday you should throw me a party. This is my advice for everybody, especially my clones.

Before I’ll take my clone on as a pupil in the craft of writing, he must prove his worthiness. He must write 100 thoughts down, of which 10 might be interesting. If he’s done that,...

I wish I could claim that I said this being an author, but alas I did not.” –I try to leave out the parts that people skip. — Elmore Leonard

I am who I think I am, or I probably am, and a test I conceive and answer about myself isn’t a way to test if I’m another person pretending to be me, because no...

I’m going on vacation, and I’m leaving my clone in charge. I’ll be gone, but I’ll be here.

I need to protect myself from myself. And my clone.

I believe the love shared between two people shouldn’t be secretly shared with a third. Not even if I am vacationing on the moon, and that third person is my clone.

Being sociable is a skill you can learn. It’s like throwing a spiral, riding a bicycle, or murdering your clone’s lover, who also happens to be your girlfriend.

My clone will have my mind, but I don’t mind. Two heads are better than one—especially when those two are one and the same.

Tristan looked at me with pleading eyes, as though he could forget for one moment how I was programmed to respond to him—how even now upon hearing his confession, I wanted nothing more than to...

There’s someone for everyone. And when my clones get here, everyone will be able to have that someone. Prices start at $99.

Know yourself better than your opponent knows you, know your opponent better than he knows himself, know yourself better than you know your opponent, and know you have all this knowledge and you will be...

If you choose to be fearless, then be fearlessly authentic not an imitation of someone you envy.

More than anything, I just want to be somebody. Somebody like my own clone.

I want a driveway so long you couldn’t see the end of it even if you were 26.1 miles into running a marathon on it. But why would you run? That’s why my clone will...

I had a dream about you. You loved me, and I loved you. We had an amazing life until you realized that I also loved your clone. You were jealous, and I didn’t see the...

As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone.

All the letters from A to Z couldn’t express what you mean to me. Not without cloning them and using some over and over

In a depression, I’d imagine rich people try to dress like they’re poor, and poor people try to dress like they’re rich. As for me, I try to dress exactly like my clone would.

I suppose if you take one part asshole and mix one part drugs, then stir in too much money for a man’s own good, this is the kind of crazy gravy you end up with.

Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself, with myself in this case being himself?

I like a man who pauses to reflect, while pausing in the mirror to reflect. I can imagine that such a man would look exactly like my clone.

My name is Sam (my name is Am), and I am my own fan. I’m a clone of Jarod Kintz, and he supports my message.

I’m the kind of guy who puts other people first. Particularly if there’s danger up ahead. Now I’m not saying I’m any more cowardly than the next man, unless that next man is any other...

Who’d cum first, you or your clone? To find out, why don’t you go fuck yourself?

I killed my clone. It’s not murder, it’s partial suicide. I want a stiff drink, but not alcohol. I want formaldehyde.

I killed my clone and I hid his body behind every mirror I’ll ever step in front of. I’m always surprised to see him, and I never fail to brush his teeth or gaze at...

I saw myself in a piece of glass that wasn’t a mirror. Was that my doppelganger or my clone? Who was that? Who am I? Maybe if I hadn’t been acting like a reverse Peeping...

Better a soulless clone… than a souled roach.

I am my own clone. I’m not who I was yesterday, but then again I am.

Question for your life: Would you rather be the first female U.S. President, the first woman to walk on the moon, or the first woman to be courted by two clones who looked like Christian...

The fastest way for me to achieve self-improvement is with The Opponent Apparatus (my clone).

I object to that object that’s made of bronze and shaped like my clone. It should be made of gold, and shaped like me.

Question for your life: Let’s say we’re making love on the moon, and my clone decides to show up. Would you tell either me or him to get lost?

I Love Jenn” jacket. Two girls, one continuous love. The I Love Jennifer is a little off-center, but then so am I. Better than being self-centered, as my clone would probably say.