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Weird  Quotes
I’m a lion in a strange land.

—Criss Jami

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AuthorityAwkwardnessBeast
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Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.In his house at R’lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.

—H.P. Lovecraft

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CthulhuEvilH-P-Lovecraft
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The word ‘weird’ is never spoken or thought of by the Fey, as to them there is nothing very strange when you take it as it is.

—Gabriel Brunsdon

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The-FeyWeird
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Here march the eaters of earth, the swallowers of rain.

—J. Aleksandr Wootton

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AlienCommonplaceCrocus
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You say freak, I say unique.

—Christian Baloga

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I’ve had some weird experiences.

—David Bailey

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Weird
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A blanket cold be used as truth. At least it’s so warm, it must be used that way.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used to start your car, if your car’s keys are cube-shaped and huge. You know what else cube-shaped and huge? That’s right—my penis sheath.

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket could be used to foil slave traders. But so could tinfoil and leftover meatloaf. Geez, the whole Civil War could have been avoided if only Lincoln had known that little trick.

—Jarod Kintz

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I make love like a brick could be used as toilet paper. Sure, it’s rough, but I thought you liked that shit.

—Jarod Kintz

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My routine is comforting, like a comforter. But a blanket could easily be used to replace my routine, because a comforter is a blanket.

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket could be used to draw a map on—a treasure map, and not something Google has knowledge of. Want to know what’s under the X? My erection.

—Jarod Kintz

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Love is like building a wall with two bricks and a ton of wind. Obviously you and your lover are bricks.

—Jarod Kintz

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Bricks could be used to pad the pockets of crooked politicians. Why stuff their greedy pockets with cash, when we could load them up with bricks and find out how good of swimmers they are?

—Jarod Kintz

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If you bring the blanket, I’ll bring the warmth.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used to save humanity from mortality. Or at least save us from mortar.

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket could be used to reveal hidden mysteries. Quick, get naked and get under, and I will illuminate the night.

—Jarod Kintz

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I shit bricks, because I’m a constructive pooper.

—Jarod Kintz

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Blankets could be used to stop exponential population growth. If we kept the people warm, maybe they wouldn’t try to heat themselves up through continual fornication.

—Jarod Kintz

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If you think of evil things, you are likely to do evil things and that will never pay you a pesewa. Think of good things and do good always!

—Israelmore Ayivor

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BadCediCedis
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Bring your son to work night” at NAMBLA’s manufacturing plant. What does NAMBLA make? NAMBLA makes me sick.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be put on the end of a scale, to determine if the other end of the scale holds a lie or the truth. (Hint: The truth is much heavier than a brick.)

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket could be used to trick a bull into charging at you. After you trick the bull, trick a bear next, and then by that time all the investors will be playing your game,...

—Jarod Kintz

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Normal is made up of two friends—Norm and Al. That’s twice the number of friends that I have, probably because I’m weirder than normal.

—Jarod Kintz

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FriendshipHumorNormal
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A brick could be used to unite two long-lost brothers. They’ve been apart for six inches, and that’s entirely too long, and I think it’d be good to bring them back together.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used to suppress the price of gold. But not for very long, because once the people realize the unrealized potential in undercutting the central bankers, gold will rise and fiat currency...

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick and blanket could be used to turn my words around like backwards high heels on my tongue .

—Jarod Kintz

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You guys are weird,” Tori said.Simon sat on the crate beside me. “That’s right. We are totally weird and completely uncool. Your popularity is plummeting just by being near us.

—Kelley Armstrong

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Belly button rape!

—Jennifer James

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CuteLove-KinetionRomanticish
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Have I seen any plays that I’ve been in? Uh, you know, might be a little weird.

—Paul Dano

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MightSeenWeird
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There really is no sense in pretending to be normal. Just be you because the moment you do, weirder things happen. Crazy comes back into fashion and every woman has to go out and find...

—Shannon L. Alder

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To confront those fears, in a controlled environment, where there’s 300 people around you going through the same thing, it’s this weird sort of yin and yang.

—Adam Arkin

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FearsSortWeird
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With these words there came the rending scream of a shattered stirk and an angry troubling of the branches as the poor madman percolated through the sieve of a sharp yew, a wailing black meteor...

—

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HilariousPoeticStrange
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A blanket could be used to feed the homeless. I mean warm the coldless. I mean coldsome. I wouldn’t know, because I’m homefull.

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket could be used for selfish reasons. I would list those reasons, but they’re mine—all of them. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used to sell pepper to people in the salt mines. So while you’re busy selling pepper to the salty and sweaty workers, I’ll be selling them bottled water.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick is slow, when it’s lying on the floor. But fast when just thrown.

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket could be used to put the war in warm. Just paint the blanket like an American flag, and then try to convince the world that they are cold and need us to stop...

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used as a device to deliver bad news. Sometimes it’s better to be blunt.

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket can be a meditation device. If the blanket is white, and you stare at it, you can blank out your mind and find peace within yourself.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used as a deodorant deterrent. Just ask any stinky Congressman.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used to make the world safer for our children. Well, not our children, as I don’t actually have any kids—but certainly your children. Skeptical? A brick could better protect your children...

—Jarod Kintz

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I use blankets like armor for cold.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used measure the volume of love in any given bathtub. But for the test to be accurate, I’m going to need you to disrobe and step down here. Don’t worry, I’m...

—Jarod Kintz

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The wall of silence that exists between us is as long as the Great Wall of China. And though it’s the same length, our wall is about two bricks quieter.

—Jarod Kintz

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Weetzie could not even cry and make Kleenex roses. She remembered the day her father, Charlie, had driven away in the smashed yellow T-bird, leaving her mother Brandy-Lynn clutching her flowered robe with one hand...

—Francesca Lia

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CoolDifferentDucky
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I’m 30-years-old, and I still can’t get out from under my father’s shadow. He’s really tall, so maybe I’ll just ask him to move over a few feet.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdAgeBizarre
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If I had a funny thought and a runny nose, but only had one napkin and no paper, I’d rather use that napkin to write on than blow my nose. After all, that’s what sleeves...

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdBizarreFunny
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Through the miracle of science, or divine intervention, a brick could be made soft, like Jell-O, and a blanket could be made rigid, like the laws regarding the speed limit, as interpreted by the cop...

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick should decide who gets to rule the people, and I should decide what rules determine whom the brick favors.

—Jarod Kintz

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