A brick could be used to dink like a dunk, if the thunk of the think has enough verticalocity to it.

There are so many other fun ways to dishonor the family name that buying girls’ underwear shouldn’t be one of them.

We weren’t really friends yet, just knowers of each other’s secret stuff.

A blanket could be used to express my condolences. I’m sorry to have to tell you I’m sorry, but that’s life, you know?

I will make thee think thy swan a crow.

A new baby! Why, Scarlett, this is a surprise!” he laughed, leaning down to push the blanket away from Ella Lorena’s small ugly face.” – Rhett Butler

A blanket could be used to lay down the law. Lay it down over there, on top of the bed, and I’ll come over and enforce it.

Ish #1 “It’s not your mama’s macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles.

…which, of course, is how I developed my love for both Kabuki theater and marshmallow Peeps.

A blanket could be used like a giant piece of paper. Most people just want to cum on it, but occasionally someone will want to splash ink on it and try to impregnate the minds...

If you are reading this then you have wasted another day of your life day dreaming, rather than planning the life God intended you to live.

Instead of finding himself in nerd heaven—where every nerd gets fifty-eight virgins to role-play with—he woke up in Robert Wood Johnson with two broken legs and a separated shoulder, feeling like, well, he’d jumped off...

A blanket could be used as a spy, because if you need to blend in and go under cover, what’s better than a banket?

‘Be careful, though.’ ‘Aren’t I always?’ ‘No, I think the word for how you usually are is ‘reckless.’

Tis but a scratch”A scratch?! Your arm’s off!”No, it isn’t.

Mormon,” he whispers.

Pearls’ burst out the Snork Maiden excitedly. ‘Could ankle rings be made out of pearls?”I should think they could,’ said Moomintoll. ‘Ankle-rings, and nose-rings and ear-rings and engagement rings…

I can’t dance, remember?” I whispered.”It’s just a tango. It is like sex, except with clothes on.” Then, squeezing me closer: “Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot, you do not know how to do that either.

A blanket could be used to smother a fire—but not the fire that burns in my heart for you. Or perhaps that’s merely heartburn, and you’re just as common as a brick.

My influences were Peter Sellers and the great British character actors.

I slowly climbed the porch steps while wondering, what exactly did Elias know about my life in London; what precisely was wrong with his mind…And what was the heaviest item in my bag.

A football could be swapped out for a brick, to make family reunion football games more fun. But I’m calling it right now: I get to be quarterback.

Hard,” she replied.

Was it just her, or did lovers look more adoringly at each other in this city? Especially in the springtime.’Die, bastards.’She sighed. It wasn’t their fault that they were bastards who should die.

I put out the Greg Call, which sounds like a whistle-quack, and a few dozen Toms responded. The only time I need a Tom is tomorrow.

Men were good for one thing only. Killing spiders. Other than that, I was on my own. It was sad though. Where was the chivalry of yesteryear?

Bricks could be used to pad the pockets of crooked politicians. Why stuff their greedy pockets with cash, when we could load them up with bricks and find out how good of swimmers they are?

Graham Chapman, co-author of the “Parrot Sketch”, is no more. He has ceased to be. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. He’s kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed...

A blanket could be used to suffocate our secret desires. And what do I secretly desire? I desire suffocation, and that is why I must suffocate my desire.

Want a little cheese with that whine, maestro?

Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn’t enough. You also have to move the chair.

Never dance in a puddle when there’s a hole in your shoe (it’s always best to take your shoes off first).

When I look back on the stuff I used to wear, I wonder why somebody didn’t try to stop me. Just a friendly warning, “You may regret this,” would have been fine.

And you’d think that killing people would make them like you, but it doesn’t. It just- it just makes them dead.

A brick could be used to ascertain the truth. And then logically, a non-brick could be used to detect the lie. What kind of things are non-bricks? Well, anything from blankets to lies. So therefore,...

You tell your brother he’s gonna pay for that car in silver.

A blanket could be used to warn your enemy that you are coming—and that you are warm. Where’s the cold war when you need it?

The art of sensuality encompassing the exploration and experiencing of all our senses… Those images are being born from and through living the moments of eating favorite chocolate cake with ice-cream, tranquil meditating, walking the...

A brick could be inserted in your chest in place of your heart. And for just a couple thousand dollars more, an artificial heart could replace the brick.

I simply regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world created therein has different rules than my regular human world.

A brick could be used as a fashion accessory. Or an accessory to murder. I believe the phrase is, “If looks could kill.

Then, almost as an afterthought, she turned and locked the bathroom door. If he thought he was going to seduce her, make her stupid enough to believe his lies by getting her into bed, he’d...

Excuse me for a moment, will ye. I think I have to talk to the river,’ he said unsteadily and flopped over the side-rail.

Or maybe I, like, cuddle raped him or something.

I think I look great in green, and I’m going to start wearing more green.

Yo Mama’s so fat, her ass has its own congressman!

How come I have too many things to do all the time…??

You’re asking the cyborg fugitive and the wild animal to be the welcoming committee? That’s adorable.

My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush’s reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I’ve tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in...

His only real financial failure came at the age of thirteen when, in an uncharacteristic error of judgement, he invested £200,000 of his own savings in wooden socks, an invention that never caught on as...