The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.

When someone gives you advice, just ask them to give it in writing and they will either keep mum or will run from there.

Fancy ‘avin’ to say you work for the Murder Squad, eh, Miss? Don’t exactly warm folk to you, does it?

I’m going to photograph every single person to enter and leave this tattoo parlour.” Finbar rolled his eyes. “And they’ll hate that, because people who get dragons drawn on their backs are normally so shy...

I don’t use big words to show off because it’s ostentatious.

Yeah? Did you see what I did with my keys? ”Silence. Then dial tone.These younger demons. So easily discouraged.

Did we really come all that way?” She asked. “Time flies when you’re scared out of your mind.” He answered.

Well, enough of this introspection. It’s depressing, quite frankly.

Oh yes? Can you identify yourself?-Certainly. I’d know me anywhere.

No matter how dire a situation may be, I can always find the humor in it somewhere. If I was ever in a horror movie I would be the goofy one who doesn’t seem to...

yes, i have dated Salvador Dali guy when i was a high school girl. he was a great lover. but i had to dump him because he stole my inspiration of bent clock*~* …. who...

He looked at Ghastly. “Thoughts?””I want to kill Sanguine,” was the first thing Ghastly said. “And I want to do it slowly, in front of a lot of people. Using a hammer.”Skulduggery nodded. “Very healthy.

What the hell makes you smart?” I asked.”I wouldn’t go for coffee with you.””Listen – I wouldn’t ask you.””That,” she replied, “is what makes you stupid.

Life is too fleet for onomatopoeia.

Never make eye contact with a stranger when you’re having a churro.

You’re going to throw me naked into a pit and make me drench myself in baby lotion, aren’t you?” BrideYou live in New Orleans, where they can’t even dig a grave. So tell me where...

It ain’t whatcha write, it’s the way atcha write it.

Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.

Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment.

I gave her a broken watch, to symbolize that my love for her is forever and timeless. And as an excuse to why I’m always late.

Which just goes to show, I guess, that dinner parties are like everything else – not as fragile as we think they are.

Though you can live for as much as you like, but your longevity is stupidity if you were leading a worthless life.

I have been lately introduced to the famous Thomas Paine, and like him very well. He is vain beyond all belief, but he has reason to be vain, and for my part I forgive him....

Endure for another day, Mister Tannen, and you’ll have all the foul black misuse of water you can drink.

Sometimes advises from others are more difficult to bear with than even slang.

I won’t be stuck in traffic ’til I see how rugged my path isAnd right now I’m loving how fast my troubles are fastingNo they don’t bother me oh realizing I’m psychopathicA wild beast, baby...

Night descended on Roarhaven like a woolly blanket of blackness with holes in it that were the stars.

Well I’m not going to hope that you get hurt, but if you do, remember that you’re my damsel in distress, and no one is allowed to carry you.””I don’t remember signing a contract.””All the...

He looked like he could carry his SUV. I don‟t know why he didn‟t.

You’ve known him how long?” Malcolm asked. “Since he was a small boy. I firs noticed him when he slipped into Master Chubb’s kitchen to steal some pies.” “So, what did you have to say...

Spanish—how shall I say this?—is likePortuguese spoken with a speech impediment.

(About a cookbook…)- What about this one? Maids of Honor?- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor…but they ends up Tarts.

Can you tell me the difference between a witch and a wizard?Sure, a wizard is what they call you when they want to hire you, and a witch is what they call you when they’re...

Pretending to care what men think is an art. It takes moments to learn, but lifetimes to master. I’d like to believe I’m an expert.

People tell me I look like my father. I’ve never seen my dad, so does that mean I look invisible?

He wasn’t aware of it but when he smiled he looked like an amiable bear. When he didn’t smile he didn’t look amiable

Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no fibs.

Guys like him? They were the worst kind. All looks and no heart. Guys not like him? They were all deceiving, freaking asshats.

When I die cremate me so I can finally fit into something small.

You cannot negotiate art.

The Black Pit of Despair is temporarily closed for renovations. We apologize for any inconvenience.

I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.

Taking a single letter from the alphaber,” he said, “should make life simpler.””I don’t see why. Take the F from life and you have lie. It’s adding a letter to simple that makes it simpler....

People with looks are lovely. People with brains are witty. People with cash are wealthy. But people with God are truly happy.

He could be so charming and irreverent and witty, and then-bam!-a switch flipped and he reverted right back to the cocky asshole everyone reported him to be.

In all small things be honest and the big ones will take care of themselves.

What are you – Secret Service?”If I were, I wouldn’t admit it.”And you’re not admitting it, I notice.

When you come back from a set down and bring the match to a final set tiebreak and are a point away from winning the match, only to have what looks like an extremely fit...

What am I going to do?” asked Ce’Nedra.”First you ought to go wash your face,” Polgara told her. “Some girls can cry without making themselves ugly, but you don’t have the right coloring for it....

Personally, I think knees should be kept for the eight or ninth date, or the wedding day. As a nice surprise, you know? ‘Oh, my darling, you have knees! I never would have thought!