Valkyrie walked to the back door, which hadn’t been closed properly, shut it and locked it. There was now a baby in the house, after all. She couldn’t take the chance that a wild animal...

The only thing we know for certain is that Darquesse is coming, and she’s coming to kill us all.

Yes, I thinkwe’ll be waiting long.

It’s a very small object to be capable of doing many wonderful things, don’t you think?””It does much more that that,” Valkyrie said, opening up a game and showing it to him.His eyes widened. “What...

Stairs,” Valkyrie said, disappointed.”Not just ordinary stairs,” Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. “Magic stairs.””Really?””Oh, yes.”She followed him into the darkness. “How are they magic?””They just are.””In what way?””In a magicky way.”She...

I cannot have chaos erupting around me until I am prepared for it. I am a collector. I am an observer. I don’t participate. My resources, and my standing, must be secure before I can...

Personally, I think knees should be kept for the eight or ninth date, or the wedding day. As a nice surprise, you know? ‘Oh, my darling, you have knees! I never would have thought!

I can’t tell you how may beautiful women have broken up with me because they were bored. I can’t tell you because it never happened. They all adored me.” “It was your humility, wasn’t it?

I just want to let you know that I love you all. Even those of you that I don’t like; that’s you Beryl.

Yes, we cut off your head. If it grows back, you can do magic.

I’m almost finished,” said Wilhelm, wiping out a line with his sleeve and drawing over it.”I never doubted you for a moment,” said Vex, then looked at Aurora and spoke more softly. “I actually doubted...

Which college?”Hmm?”Which college do you go to?’Fletcher nodded. ‘Yes.”I’m sorry?”Oh,’ Fletcher said, and laughed.Valkyrie’s parents looked at Fletcher in near bewilderment. Fletcher looked back at them in total bewilderment. Valkyrie shook her head.

Ladies and gentleman,” he said over the speakers, “welcome aboard this recently liberated Gulfstream V. If I could have your attention for just a few moments, I’d like to go over the safety features of...

He’d once known a man who said that life hinged on the moment, that everything changed in the blink of an eye. Tesseract knew the truth of that as well as anybody. It was in...

No, I did not.

Stephanie had no problem doing what shewas told, just so long as she was given a good reason why sheshould.

It’s not that I want you to go, it’s just that I don’t want you to stay.” – China Sorrows –

Technically, yeah, all right, maybe I haven’t

Personally, I thin knees should be kept for the eight or ninth date, or the wedding day. As a nice surprise, you know? ‘Oh, my darling, you have knees! I never would have thought!

What are we going to do when we get into the temple, anyway? Are we going to fight our way through the Necromancers on our own?””No, we’re going to find a way to let our...

The fact is that we have no way of knowing if the person who we think we are is at the core of our being. Are you a decent girl with the potential to someday...

Tanith frowned. Did people still go on DATES any more? She was sure they did. They probably called it something different though. She tried to think of the last date she’d been on. The last...

Look at what you’ve done,’ Sanguine said, shaking his head with mock severity. ‘You have foiled out insidious little plot. You have emerged triumphant and victorious. Curse you, do-gooders. Curse you.

Just a few questions for you, Mr. Dunne. Or Kenny. Can I call you Kenny? I feel we’ve become friends in these past few seconds. Can I call you Kenny?

Donegan Bane and Gracious O’Callahan – the Monster Hunters. Adventurers, inventors, authors of Monster Hunting for Beginners and it’s sequels, Monster Hunting for Beginners is Probably Inadvisable and Seriously, Dude, Stop Monster Hunting.

Kindness suits you.””Really? I think I’m quite allergic to it.

The traffic warden looked up. “This your car?” “It is,” said Skulduggery. The traffic warden nodded. “Very nice, very nice. But you can’t park here, day or night.” “I wasn’t aware of that.” “There’s a...

I’ll buy you a stick for Christmas.

An untied shoelace can be dangerous,’ he said.’I could have tripped.’She stared at him. A moment dragged by.’I’m joking,’ he said at last.She relaxed. ‘Really?”Absolutely. I would never have tripped. I’m far too graceful.

Peace means nothing without freedom.

maybe not

This isn’t the first time I’ve used this, and the test subject showed no signs of impaired cognitive ability.””Who was the test subject?” asked Aurora.”I test everything out on myself before taking it into the...

Of course I want to kill you,” said Skulduggery. “I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to.

She had been a teenager once, and she knew that, despite the apparent contradictions, a person’s teenage years lasted well into their fifties.

Excellent,” he said, and the smile immediately sprang back up.

Everyone gets tortured these days. Skulduggery by Serpine, who then turned around and did that red right hand thing at you. Then Skulduggery was tortured again by the Faceless Ones. I figured it was my...

This is stolen? We’re in a stolen jet?””Not stolen,” said Donegan Bane from the co-pilot’s seat.”Almost stolen,” Gracious corrected.”Semi-stolen,” said Donegan.”Quasi-stolen,” said Gracious. Aurora’s frown did not turn upside down. “So is it stolen or...

Stephanie could see the greed seep into the watery eyes of herfather’s other brother, a horrible little man called Fergus, as henodded sadly and spoke sombrely and pocketed the silverwarewhen he thought no one was...

He things we think he’s a double agent, working for them but secretly working for us. He doesn’t know we know he’s a triple agent, working for them but secretly working for us but really...

Have to be honest with you Darquesse, I cannot feel that. That must be one of your special abilities, because to me, it looks like you just killed a whole bunch of people for no...

I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall.

Tides do what tides do–they turn.

A man is only as effective as the effect he has on his surroundings,’ Gordon was saying. ‘And if a man is not effective, if his very being is as insubstantial as thought, then what...

He liked murder. Murder and long walks had been two of his favorite things when he was younger.

If anyone stops us, as long as we mumble something pretentious about the glory of death, we should be fine.

Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed.

mostly we’ve had to found ways to amuse ourselves.””Really?” Valkyrie asked. “Like what?”Plight’s smile faded. “Like human sacrifice.”He grabbed one arm and Lenka grabbed the other and Valkyrie cried out.Then they both let go. laughing.”Naw,”...

Hmmm… that’s interesting.””What?””There seems to be a gentleman walking towards us with a shotgun.

The three of usgetting along so well.

The lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves.