He put on his hat and wrapped his scarf around his jaw, but did without the wig and the sunglasses. He clicked his key chain and the car beeped and the doors locked.”That’s it?”He looked...

I’m going to photograph every single person to enter and leave this tattoo parlour.” Finbar rolled his eyes. “And they’ll hate that, because people who get dragons drawn on their backs are normally so shy...

We’re authors, too,” Donegan said, “and we’ve been trying to get into the picture-book market. We have this idea for a Where’s Wally type thing, except in ours, you’d have to find the one living...

Have you ever seen her dressed up as a ninja? That would have been my first clue.”The girl sucked in her cheeks so she wouldn’t laugh out loud.

We’re not retreating, we’re advancing in reverse.’ –Skulduggery Pleasant

It all depends on what people you’re talking about helping. That’s the wonderful think about just about every religion on the planet – they’re all so incredibly selfish.

Night descended on Roarhaven like a woolly blanket of blackness with holes in it that were the stars.

Please don’t arrest me.””Listen to me, I’m not going to arrest you, ok? I’m not a cop.””Are you sure?””Am I sure I’m not a cop? yes, I’m sure.””You could be undercover.

You’re under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to not much at all, really. Do you have anything to say in your defense?

Doors are for people with no imagination.

Wow,” she said. “It’s like you’re teaching me something and being all wise.””You are not easy to get along with,” Skulduggery said.

What are you doing?””I’m, uh, acting normal.””No you’re not. You’re acting like someone pretending to be normal. Stop pretending and start acting, but don’t act like you’re not pretending, that’ll make it worse.

I should go in alone,” Valkyrie said, speaking loudly to be heard. “If we both go in, it’ll look to official.””So I’ll just stay out here?” Skulduggery asked. “But what’ll I do? There’s no one...

Every solution to every problem is simple. It’s the distance between the two where the mystery lies.

Right, well, we’ve got to work out what we need. We’ve got to work out what we need, how we get it, and what we need to get to get what we need.

He has a name.””Oh yeah. Skulduggery isn’t it?” Fletcher responded. “That’s an unusual one. Tell me were you born a skeleton or were your folks just disturbingly hopeful?

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit,” Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. “They’ve obviously never met me.

That was a good day for me,” Skulduggery said. “I didn’t have to hit anyone. I didn’t have to shoot anyone. I just sat around and talked to my good friend and partner, Valkyrie Cain.

I love stories with a happy ending,” Inspector Me said.

I have chiseled features. Look. Look how chiseled they are. And my teeth are at least as white as his. You seriously think he’s good-lookin’?””I do,” said Tanith.”Right,” Sanguine said and nodded. “I’m gonna kill...

Still, he figured, sometimes you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do, and then sometimes you’ve just got to run like hell after it’s done.

What is a life?” Scapegrace continued. “Is life merely living? Is it having a heartbeat? Or is life the effect you have on others? Is it the effect you have on the world around you?...

Well, OK then.” He narrowed his eyes. “How about you? Do you have any…romances I should know about?””Nope. Not one.””Well, good. Excellent. There’ll be plenty of time for boys when you leave college and become...

I’ve always been a monster,’ Scapegrace told her, ‘but now, finally, my physical for reflects my inner darkness.”You smell terrible.”That’s the smell of evil.”It’s like rancid meat and bad eggs.”Evil,” Scapegrace insisted.

Valkyrie walked to the back door, which hadn’t been closed properly, shut it and locked it. There was now a baby in the house, after all. She couldn’t take the chance that a wild animal...

The only thing we know for certain is that Darquesse is coming, and she’s coming to kill us all.

Yes, I thinkwe’ll be waiting long.

It’s a very small object to be capable of doing many wonderful things, don’t you think?””It does much more that that,” Valkyrie said, opening up a game and showing it to him.His eyes widened. “What...

Stairs,” Valkyrie said, disappointed.”Not just ordinary stairs,” Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. “Magic stairs.””Really?””Oh, yes.”She followed him into the darkness. “How are they magic?””They just are.””In what way?””In a magicky way.”She...

I cannot have chaos erupting around me until I am prepared for it. I am a collector. I am an observer. I don’t participate. My resources, and my standing, must be secure before I can...

Personally, I think knees should be kept for the eight or ninth date, or the wedding day. As a nice surprise, you know? ‘Oh, my darling, you have knees! I never would have thought!

I can’t tell you how may beautiful women have broken up with me because they were bored. I can’t tell you because it never happened. They all adored me.” “It was your humility, wasn’t it?

I just want to let you know that I love you all. Even those of you that I don’t like; that’s you Beryl.

Yes, we cut off your head. If it grows back, you can do magic.

I’m almost finished,” said Wilhelm, wiping out a line with his sleeve and drawing over it.”I never doubted you for a moment,” said Vex, then looked at Aurora and spoke more softly. “I actually doubted...

Which college?”Hmm?”Which college do you go to?’Fletcher nodded. ‘Yes.”I’m sorry?”Oh,’ Fletcher said, and laughed.Valkyrie’s parents looked at Fletcher in near bewilderment. Fletcher looked back at them in total bewilderment. Valkyrie shook her head.

Ladies and gentleman,” he said over the speakers, “welcome aboard this recently liberated Gulfstream V. If I could have your attention for just a few moments, I’d like to go over the safety features of...

He’d once known a man who said that life hinged on the moment, that everything changed in the blink of an eye. Tesseract knew the truth of that as well as anybody. It was in...

No, I did not.

Stephanie had no problem doing what shewas told, just so long as she was given a good reason why sheshould.

It’s not that I want you to go, it’s just that I don’t want you to stay.” – China Sorrows –

Technically, yeah, all right, maybe I haven’t

Personally, I thin knees should be kept for the eight or ninth date, or the wedding day. As a nice surprise, you know? ‘Oh, my darling, you have knees! I never would have thought!

What are we going to do when we get into the temple, anyway? Are we going to fight our way through the Necromancers on our own?””No, we’re going to find a way to let our...

The fact is that we have no way of knowing if the person who we think we are is at the core of our being. Are you a decent girl with the potential to someday...

Tanith frowned. Did people still go on DATES any more? She was sure they did. They probably called it something different though. She tried to think of the last date she’d been on. The last...

Look at what you’ve done,’ Sanguine said, shaking his head with mock severity. ‘You have foiled out insidious little plot. You have emerged triumphant and victorious. Curse you, do-gooders. Curse you.

Just a few questions for you, Mr. Dunne. Or Kenny. Can I call you Kenny? I feel we’ve become friends in these past few seconds. Can I call you Kenny?

Donegan Bane and Gracious O’Callahan – the Monster Hunters. Adventurers, inventors, authors of Monster Hunting for Beginners and it’s sequels, Monster Hunting for Beginners is Probably Inadvisable and Seriously, Dude, Stop Monster Hunting.

Kindness suits you.””Really? I think I’m quite allergic to it.