Gordon Edgley’s sudden death came as a shock to everyone – not least himself. One moment he was in his study, seven words into the twenty-fifth sentence of the final chapter of his new book,...

You don’t treat me like a child.”He smiled. “Of course I do, but you seem to have this ridiculous notion that being treated like a child means to be treated with less respect than an...

Violence?”Skulduggery said. “Violence is never the answer, until it’s the only answer.

The Doctor put his finger to his lips and Martha nodded and followed him as quietly as she could. Wet leaves squelched under her feet. There was movement up ahead: two teenagers, a pale boy...

I’m placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don’t know, possibly littering.

Skulduggery stood among the ruins of what had once been a sofa. Valkyrie raised an eyebrow.’I was trying to make up the sofa bed so you could get some rest,’ he explained, and pointed to...

Skul-man!’ he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. ‘Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun by evil trans-dimensional superfiends!’ Skulduggery nodded. ‘Just got back.

Just because an apple falls one hundred times out of a hundred does not mean it will fall on the hundred and first.

If he can’t get to the clock, any idea how we deal with this lot?””With great care,” Donegan suggested.”How about we run off shout and they follow?” Said Gracious. “Then, just when they think they’ve...

Valkyrie made a face. “Bloody vampires.”Ryan sat forward. “That was a vampire? That guy who looked like an accountant?””We don’t talk about vampires,” Skulduggery warned.”But it was daytime. How could he have been out during...

The door handle turned. Someone knocked, and a man’s voice called, “Uh, hello?”Valkyrie looked at Skulduggery, looked back at the others, looked at Skulduggery again.”Hello,” Skulduggery said, speaking loudly to be heard over the alarm....

Or at least half price.” And he was gone again.

I thought you liked the stick. You laughed.

Talking about one’s feelings defeats the purpose of having those feelings. Once you try to put the human experience into words, it becomes little more than a spectator sport. Everything must have a cause, and...

Thank you. Thank you very much. It’s important you feel comfortable around me, Kenny. It’s important we build up a level of trust. That way I’ll catch you completely unprepared when I suddenly accuse you...

The Engineer smiled (internally, for of course it had no mouth). It was feeling good. It was feeling optimistic. Moving at its current speed, it would arrive back in Ireland in plenty of time to...

I had an uneventful few days,” it told her. “The most exciting thing was an hour-long lecture from the headmaster on taking our studies seriously. He said next year’s exam will arrive sooner than we...

I find it rude to laugh at a man with a sword.

They’re not going to arrest you,’ Skulduggery said as they walked through the door. ‘They might glare at you and say angry words, but they won’t arrest you. Well, they might arrest you. There’s a...

What?” she asked again.He pointed ahead of them. “See that?””What, the snow?””Beyond that.””More snow?””Stop looking at the snow.

He laughed and was about to retort when she grabbed his collar and pulled him into her. She clamped her lips around his mouth and mashed her face into his. He took a step back...

Doesn’t sunlight kill them? Doesn’t it turn them to dust, or make them burst into flames or something?””Nope. Vampires tan, just like you and me. Well, just like you. I tend to bleach.

My wife was saying to me just the other day how she’s noticed a spring in my step lately. That was because I thought you were gone forever.’ ‘I missed you too, Thurid.

Skulduggery’s silly little code actually works.

Corrival looked around. ‘So is this it? Is everyone here? Erskine, maybe you should start the ball rolling. I have places to go and things to do.”Me?’ Ravel asked. ‘Why do I have to start...

Sometimes it’s not what you say, Valkyrie, it’s just the fact that you’re saying it.

Oh, cheers,” Valkyrie said, rolling her eyes.

I was going straight for Mantis, but then that bloody gas got in my eyes and, I don’t know, some massive bloke reared up in front of me. I hit him, but I swear, it...

Skulduggery.””Fletcher.”Fletcher stuck out his hand. Skulduggery observed it for a moment.”I’m sorry, what are we doing now?””Shaking hands,” Fletcher said. “Like adults. I just want you to know that this past year has changed me....

I mean you ACRES of harm,’ Dalrymple growled. ‘Untold QUANTITIES of harm. I will visit a whole CONTINENT of harm upon you before we are through.

That’s ridiculous. The only point in having enemies is so you can defeat them, kill them, brush them aside.””Or give them a chance to redeem themselves.

Skulduggery placed both hands on the table and leaned over. “You’ve heard about me. You’ve heard about the things I’ve done.”The smirk faded a little. “So?””So the stories you’ve heard are nothing compared to the...

Being a detective isn’t all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant…The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.

How are we going to get out of here?””Oh, escape is easy once you have the right plan.””Do we have the right plan?””Not yet.””Do we have any plan?””Not yet.

I understand perfectly. Darquesse isn’t a separate entity. She isn’t another person. She’s you. If you make the wrong choices, if you stop loving the people who love you, if you allow the world to...

You promise?””I cross the place where my heart used to be and wish to be even more deader than I am now.

Just don’t forget to stand in front of me the whole time,” he said.

You look angry,” he said.”You put me on hold.””For a very good reason.””You put me,” she said very, very slowly, “on hold.

You are a cynical man, Mr. Pleasant.””We live in cynical times, Miss Cain.

Valkyrie smiled patiently. “I like how you do your make-up. Do you use a brush, or just dip your head in the bucket?

I am what prevents the Accelerator from being a bomb.””Except you didn’t,” said Gracious. “Because you weren’t around.””I got bored.””You’re a machine.””Machines can become bored, too.”Gracious looked suddenly concerned. “My toaster is bored?””Perhaps, ” said...

He put on his hat and wrapped his scarf around his jaw, but did without the wig and the sunglasses. He clicked his key chain and the car beeped and the doors locked.”That’s it?”He looked...

I’m going to photograph every single person to enter and leave this tattoo parlour.” Finbar rolled his eyes. “And they’ll hate that, because people who get dragons drawn on their backs are normally so shy...

We’re authors, too,” Donegan said, “and we’ve been trying to get into the picture-book market. We have this idea for a Where’s Wally type thing, except in ours, you’d have to find the one living...

Have you ever seen her dressed up as a ninja? That would have been my first clue.”The girl sucked in her cheeks so she wouldn’t laugh out loud.

We’re not retreating, we’re advancing in reverse.’ –Skulduggery Pleasant

It all depends on what people you’re talking about helping. That’s the wonderful think about just about every religion on the planet – they’re all so incredibly selfish.

Night descended on Roarhaven like a woolly blanket of blackness with holes in it that were the stars.

Please don’t arrest me.””Listen to me, I’m not going to arrest you, ok? I’m not a cop.””Are you sure?””Am I sure I’m not a cop? yes, I’m sure.””You could be undercover.

You’re under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to not much at all, really. Do you have anything to say in your defense?