I have no idea how long Quisser was gone from the table. My attention became fully absorbed by the other faces in the club and the deep anxiety they betrayed to me, an anxiety that was not of the natural, existential sort but one that was caused by peculiar concerns of an uncanny nature. What...

If it doesn’t sweat, jiggle, or pant, it’s not alive.

Do we have a hand mirror?’ I asked from the kitchen doorway.’Never use one,’ said Lester, examining the date on a carton of sour cream.’Naturally, you’re a male. What you see is what you’ve got,’ I said resentfully.’Huh?’ said Lester.

You are who you are, when NO ONE is LOOKING

I walk into a room where peoples’ faces are as blank as chalk boards. the music picks up, the lighting becomes brighter and suddenly I am lifted off of my feet being spun by a tall figure with no name; mystery is the name of my game

At the very leadt, we can grab Monica and hustle her skanky ass back to her dad wile you brave, strong menfolk hold off the bad guys. Right?

People in hell want snowcones.

Shit, money, and the World, the three American truths, powering the American mobility, claimed the Slothrops, clasped them for good to the country’s fate. But they did not prosper… about all they did was persist

She said my glasses made me look like a butch jock’s locker room bitch.

Are you mad? Or have you been skulking around the bars of Barbary XIII?

It was a summer of great rumblings in the belly of the earth, of atomic flatulence and geopolitical indigestion, consequences of the consumption of sectarian chickpeas by our famished and increasingly incontinent subcontinent.

I love the fashion which is out of fashion.

Sometime all you need is love … Oh wait! And ice cream, and chocolate to go along with it as nowadays love is anything but sweet.

That proves you are unusual,’ returned the Scarecrow; ‘and I am convinced that the only people worthy of consideration in this world are the unusual ones. For the common folks are like the leaves of a tree, and live and die unnoticed.

Flirtation doesn’t have to go somewhere; it certainly doesn’t need to end up in bed. I like to think of it as a little friendlier than a handshake, a little less intimate than a kiss. It’s a way of saying hi, you look great, have a wonderful day. A tasteful flirtation, played out people who...

The only reason we live is also the reason we often die, even in a matter of seconds.

Instead of Rock, Paper, Scissors, you could play Brick, Blanket, Action Fingers, in which brick cripples action fingers, blanket smothers brick and action fingers beats blanket.

You should go into every relationship as a brick and not a blanket.

You could carve out the inside of a brick and hide your money in it for safe keeping. It’s certainly safer than keeping it in the bank!

I’d much rather a monkey throws a blanket instead of a brick.

For loose teeth the tooth fairy recommends tying your tooth to a brick and throwing said brick down the stairs.

FLAMINGO!!

If you keep on saying a single thing to yourself, you are likely to attract it to yourself, dreaming it always, then in a twinkle of an eye, it comes to you.

up is a Movie and a direction

I’m so scared of commitment that I even hate stickers. I mean, once they’re stuck, that’s it. No going back now. Stupid stickers.

He openned the door that he assumed was the garage only to find himself in the pantry.crap.”Um . . . grabbing some Pop-Tarts for the road,” Nick said, covering his mistake. Still, they both stared at him as if he’d escaped Arkham Asylum. Offering them a fake smile, he grabbed the pastries, crossed himself, and...

Her name badge read: Hello! My name is DIE, DEMIGOD SCUM!

They could all be random.

I want to make you hold onto that bag while I bury myself in you so hard and so deep you don’t know your own name. -Nick Rixey

Joke ’em if they can’t take a fuck. -NATALIE

If given the choice, I’d take five ones over a five-dollar bill, because women prefer men with lots of money.

She told you to G.T.F.O. over text????

Meow, Meow, Meeeeooooow?

Every sex noise can be converted into a note and frozen in a can of soda. Ask me about menstruation music today!

When Johnny Depp saw it, he was so excited he fluffed up to twice his normal size.

Dave? This is John. Your pimp says bring the heroin shipment tonight, or he’ll be forced to stick you. meet him where we buried the Korean whore. The one without the goatee.”That was code. It meant “Come to my place as soon as you can, it’s important.

Kindness, motherfucker, kindness.

Nothing says work efficiency like panic mode.

You can tell he’s mexican because of his chinese eyes.

Unicorns are not real, though we still dream about them! DREAM ON!

A brick could be attached to a parachute and tossed out of an airplane, to test if it opens up properly. Well, the good news is the parachute worked as planned, but the bad news is the only other parachute on board is strapped to my back, and I’m afraid you’re going to have to...

A brick could be substituted in for Rhode Island as a US state, because they’re roughly the same size, the have the same population (the brick may have one less person), and Grandma Kintz makes the best Excuse Soup in the entire state.

A brick could be used for pressing grapes into wine, and a magician could then cover up that wine with a blanket and turn wine into water.

Through the miracle of science, or divine intervention, a brick could be made soft, like Jell-O, and a blanket could be made rigid, like the laws regarding the speed limit, as interpreted by the cop who pulled me over last night. Come on, Officer Dogood—97 in a 30 mile an hour zone is not egregious....

A brick could be used to stop a bleeding wound. Though just between you and me, I’d prefer to be bandaged by a Band-Aid, a blanket, or a pair of lace panties (preferably red).

Agatha was a woman. All women are mortal. Therefore, Agatha must be dead.” -Orafoura

A blanket could be used to keep people warm. But take it from me: you want to freeze those dead bodies as soon as they’re cold and lifeless, because you don’t want the bodies staying warm and decomposing while you’re looking for a place to dispose of them.

A blanket could be used to find the Brick of Truth. Many lies will be layered on the Brick of Truth to try to cover it up, but the blanket will cover up all the lies, thus covering up the cover up and thereby revealing the Brick of Truth. And don’t try to steal the...

A brick could be put on the end of a scale, to determine if the other end of the scale holds a lie or the truth. (Hint: The truth is much heavier than a brick.)

A brick could be a politician, if you attached strings, taught it to dance, and allowed it to read a teleprompter. Remember: whether it’s Republican or Democrat, it’s still a brick, and it will do whatever the Mason’s want it to. But if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get back to work. Now, where...