People in hell want snowcones.

Shit, money, and the World, the three American truths, powering the American mobility, claimed the Slothrops, clasped them for good to the country’s fate. But they did not prosper… about all they did was persist

I have no idea how long Quisser was gone from the table. My attention became fully absorbed by the other faces in the club and the deep anxiety they betrayed to me, an anxiety that was not of the natural, existential sort but one that was caused by peculiar concerns of an uncanny nature. What...

If it doesn’t sweat, jiggle, or pant, it’s not alive.

Do we have a hand mirror?’ I asked from the kitchen doorway.’Never use one,’ said Lester, examining the date on a carton of sour cream.’Naturally, you’re a male. What you see is what you’ve got,’ I said resentfully.’Huh?’ said Lester.

You are who you are, when NO ONE is LOOKING

I walk into a room where peoples’ faces are as blank as chalk boards. the music picks up, the lighting becomes brighter and suddenly I am lifted off of my feet being spun by a tall figure with no name; mystery is the name of my game

At the very leadt, we can grab Monica and hustle her skanky ass back to her dad wile you brave, strong menfolk hold off the bad guys. Right?

He openned the door that he assumed was the garage only to find himself in the pantry.crap.”Um . . . grabbing some Pop-Tarts for the road,” Nick said, covering his mistake. Still, they both stared at him as if he’d escaped Arkham Asylum. Offering them a fake smile, he grabbed the pastries, crossed himself, and...

Her name badge read: Hello! My name is DIE, DEMIGOD SCUM!

She said my glasses made me look like a butch jock’s locker room bitch.

Are you mad? Or have you been skulking around the bars of Barbary XIII?

It was a summer of great rumblings in the belly of the earth, of atomic flatulence and geopolitical indigestion, consequences of the consumption of sectarian chickpeas by our famished and increasingly incontinent subcontinent.

I love the fashion which is out of fashion.

Sometime all you need is love … Oh wait! And ice cream, and chocolate to go along with it as nowadays love is anything but sweet.

Instead of Rock, Paper, Scissors, you could play Brick, Blanket, Action Fingers, in which brick cripples action fingers, blanket smothers brick and action fingers beats blanket.

You should go into every relationship as a brick and not a blanket.

You could carve out the inside of a brick and hide your money in it for safe keeping. It’s certainly safer than keeping it in the bank!

I’d much rather a monkey throws a blanket instead of a brick.

For loose teeth the tooth fairy recommends tying your tooth to a brick and throwing said brick down the stairs.

If you keep on saying a single thing to yourself, you are likely to attract it to yourself, dreaming it always, then in a twinkle of an eye, it comes to you.

That proves you are unusual,’ returned the Scarecrow; ‘and I am convinced that the only people worthy of consideration in this world are the unusual ones. For the common folks are like the leaves of a tree, and live and die unnoticed.

The only reason we live is also the reason we often die, even in a matter of seconds.

Flirtation doesn’t have to go somewhere; it certainly doesn’t need to end up in bed. I like to think of it as a little friendlier than a handshake, a little less intimate than a kiss. It’s a way of saying hi, you look great, have a wonderful day. A tasteful flirtation, played out people who...

FLAMINGO!!

I’m so scared of commitment that I even hate stickers. I mean, once they’re stuck, that’s it. No going back now. Stupid stickers.

They could all be random.

Joke ’em if they can’t take a fuck. -NATALIE

I want to make you hold onto that bag while I bury myself in you so hard and so deep you don’t know your own name. -Nick Rixey

Unicorns are not real, though we still dream about them! DREAM ON!

The Baudelaire orphans hung on to one another, and wept and wept while the adults argued endlessly behind them. Finally-as, I’m sorry to say, Count Olaf forced the Quagmires into puppy costumes so he could sneak them onto the airplane without anyone noticing-the Baudelaires cried themselves out and just sat on the lawn together in...

A brick could be used to cut things. The duller the object, the sharper the user has to be to make it work.

A blanket could be used like a cat, if it were furry and purred.

A brick could be used to control whole populations of people. Just get a good looking person, like a news anchor, to give it out to the masses and say soothing things with a straight face and all will be OK and the system will continue on as centrally planned.

A brick could be used in the back part of a director’s last name, to make an epic space odyssey.

A blanket could be used as a shield, in a fight with a cold shower. I know, because I won that battle this morning, only I wielded a sword—and an erection made of sleep.

To a man who has spent centuries seeing to only his own needs, you are indeed high maintenance, but I’m finding I do not mind maintaining you. -Zacharel

A brick could be used to show you how much I love you. Well, maybe not a whole brick, but certainly a half a brick would be an accurate measure for the amount of love I have for you.

Loving someone gives them permission to do things to you because they know you’ll forgive them. -Shaye

A brick could be used to show support for your favorite team. They want to crush their opponents, and if you’ve got the arm strength and accuracy, you should do everything in your power to help them do just that.

I didn’t ask you to give up anything for me,” she told him, “but I would have given up everything for you.” The war is over, and I have lost. War. Ha! As if she could have fought a dead woman. The battle had been over before it began. “Until the end of forever, Layel.”...

A brick could be used to replace the brother you never had. Well, it’s only a possibility, but you probably won’t like it, because as soon as your parents gain another child, you’ll quickly find out that you were only their favorite child because you were their only child.

A brick could be used to create a new society, a perfect society, where there is no inequality, there are no laws, and most importantly, there are no people.

A brick could be used to suppress the price of gold. But not for very long, because once the people realize the unrealized potential in undercutting the central bankers, gold will rise and fiat currency will sink.

A blanket could be used to rob a bank. Guns are so Bonnie and Clyde, but a blanket bank robbery has a certain amount of seduction involved. A blanket has a lot more banging involved than the bang-bang of a gun.

A brick could be used to grow your annual income by a factor of four. What, you don’t believe me? Are you calling me a liar?

A brick could be used as a book cover. Talk about hardcover!

A blanket could be used to sail with the wind. That wind is provided by my ceiling fan, and my boat is my bed. Why don’t you come over, and I’ll teach you the art of seafaring.

don’t make me throw my boot at you, because I will, you grumpy high testosterone driven male

You can tell he’s mexican because of his chinese eyes.