I have no idea how long Quisser was gone from the table. My attention became fully absorbed by the other faces in the club and the deep anxiety they betrayed to me, an anxiety that was not of the natural, existential sort but one that was caused by peculiar concerns of an uncanny nature. What...

If it doesn’t sweat, jiggle, or pant, it’s not alive.

Do we have a hand mirror?’ I asked from the kitchen doorway.’Never use one,’ said Lester, examining the date on a carton of sour cream.’Naturally, you’re a male. What you see is what you’ve got,’ I said resentfully.’Huh?’ said Lester.

You are who you are, when NO ONE is LOOKING

I walk into a room where peoples’ faces are as blank as chalk boards. the music picks up, the lighting becomes brighter and suddenly I am lifted off of my feet being spun by a tall figure with no name; mystery is the name of my game

At the very leadt, we can grab Monica and hustle her skanky ass back to her dad wile you brave, strong menfolk hold off the bad guys. Right?

He openned the door that he assumed was the garage only to find himself in the pantry.crap.”Um . . . grabbing some Pop-Tarts for the road,” Nick said, covering his mistake. Still, they both stared at him as if he’d escaped Arkham Asylum. Offering them a fake smile, he grabbed the pastries, crossed himself, and...

Her name badge read: Hello! My name is DIE, DEMIGOD SCUM!

People in hell want snowcones.

Shit, money, and the World, the three American truths, powering the American mobility, claimed the Slothrops, clasped them for good to the country’s fate. But they did not prosper… about all they did was persist

I love the fashion which is out of fashion.

Sometime all you need is love … Oh wait! And ice cream, and chocolate to go along with it as nowadays love is anything but sweet.

That proves you are unusual,’ returned the Scarecrow; ‘and I am convinced that the only people worthy of consideration in this world are the unusual ones. For the common folks are like the leaves of a tree, and live and die unnoticed.

Flirtation doesn’t have to go somewhere; it certainly doesn’t need to end up in bed. I like to think of it as a little friendlier than a handshake, a little less intimate than a kiss. It’s a way of saying hi, you look great, have a wonderful day. A tasteful flirtation, played out people who...

The only reason we live is also the reason we often die, even in a matter of seconds.

Instead of Rock, Paper, Scissors, you could play Brick, Blanket, Action Fingers, in which brick cripples action fingers, blanket smothers brick and action fingers beats blanket.

You should go into every relationship as a brick and not a blanket.

You could carve out the inside of a brick and hide your money in it for safe keeping. It’s certainly safer than keeping it in the bank!

I’d much rather a monkey throws a blanket instead of a brick.

For loose teeth the tooth fairy recommends tying your tooth to a brick and throwing said brick down the stairs.

FLAMINGO!!

She said my glasses made me look like a butch jock’s locker room bitch.

Are you mad? Or have you been skulking around the bars of Barbary XIII?

It was a summer of great rumblings in the belly of the earth, of atomic flatulence and geopolitical indigestion, consequences of the consumption of sectarian chickpeas by our famished and increasingly incontinent subcontinent.

If you keep on saying a single thing to yourself, you are likely to attract it to yourself, dreaming it always, then in a twinkle of an eye, it comes to you.

up is a Movie and a direction

I’m so scared of commitment that I even hate stickers. I mean, once they’re stuck, that’s it. No going back now. Stupid stickers.

They could all be random.

Joke ’em if they can’t take a fuck. -NATALIE

Unicorns are not real, though we still dream about them! DREAM ON!

The Baudelaire orphans hung on to one another, and wept and wept while the adults argued endlessly behind them. Finally-as, I’m sorry to say, Count Olaf forced the Quagmires into puppy costumes so he could sneak them onto the airplane without anyone noticing-the Baudelaires cried themselves out and just sat on the lawn together in...

Scoop out my soul with a spoon like it’s a cantaloupe, and I’ll tell you that love is breakfast. And I’d love to make breakfast to Agatha one more time.

A brick could be used to keep your sandwich pressed down, so your meat doesn’t spill out.

A brick is a fraction of a building, and a brick is like a building—if you’re like an ant.

I’m the kind of guy who turns my fan on in winter, only to then go and add another blanket on top of my bed. I practice inefficiency even while I sleep, so I’ll be prepared to one day be a politician.

A brick could be used as a cock block.

A brick could be used as a trophy, and when you get yours, believe me, you’ll have earned it.

A brick could be renamed something clever and cute, like President, and repackaged and resold to a solid base of sheep consumers every four years. The sheeple will never even notice that every new model of brick is exactly like the last brick!

A brick could be used as a pillow, if you first wrap it with a blanket. But if you’re shivering from being cold, don’t worry—I’ll cover you with my naked body.

A brick could be used to send Satan back from whence he came. But where did he come from? Probably Washington DC.

Four bricks could be affixed under a skateboard and used as really inefficient wheels. Ha! Let’s see Tony Hawk do tricks on that board. Actually, he probably could.

A brick could be licked, like a cat’s asshole. But obviously inversed, because your tongue is soft and the brick is rough.

Yeah” while the guy peeing next to you is talking, try a more positive affirmation, like pinching his butt cheek.

It’s funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.

A brick could be used to make music. But why not use something more humane, like your armpit.

A brick could be used to enhance your sex life. So what are you waiting for? Get that gerbil out of your pants

Will you sleep with me?” I expect you to run to the bedroom, get naked, and get under the blanket. Whatever you do, do not reach for the brick.

Bricks could be used to pad the pockets of crooked politicians. Why stuff their greedy pockets with cash, when we could load them up with bricks and find out how good of swimmers they are?

Do either a brick or a blanket have Buddha nature? The answer is yes and no and maybe, in a Triangle of Truth where there is no is, and there is no isn’t.

A brick could be used to replace a flat tire. After all, you want to replace like with like, and what’s more flat than a brick?