Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.

In the cool dark basement, she whispers, “It’s not Ralph, is it?”Cabel’s quiet for a moment, as if he’s thinking, “You mean like Forever Ralph? Uh, no.””You’ve read Forever?” Janie is incredulous. “There wasn’t much...

On the board was a list of words and phrases which her mother considered not suitable for use in college T-shirt design. She had been asked about them so often that in the end she...

I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.

Dirt and sweat. Very sexy.

You won’t even take your bow? Are you planning to throttle a moose with your bare hands, then?””I’ve a knife in my boot,” she said, and then wondered, for a moment, if she could throttle...

A brick could be used as a dream stimulator. Just tap it gently against your forehead. And if the mechanism gets stuck, just slam it down on your skull to jar everything loose.

Life is too fleet for onomatopoeia.

I’m not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share.

I look like a biker slut from hell meets soldier of fortune pinup.

A brick is something solid, stable, and yet edgy. In other words, it’s everything a politician isn’t.

I had a dream about you last night.We moved into a cabin in the countryside.I couldn’t handle the spiders.You couldn’t handle my drama.I moved back to the city.

I got mixed up with some oddness in my youth, and the long and short of it is that I can’t shuffle off this mortal coil until I have read the ten most boring classics.

I laugh because your pain is amusing.

Which is, I’m an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because they both grow from their relationship.

They sure looked at us funny when we checked out,

My body is tired as worn out rug, but my brain (if i had) is always full of curiosity, jumping around for seeking new funs. If they could learn how to be cooperative each others,...

I want to be in a room room. A lived-in room.

Rule number four for me as a writer? Plotlines are like sharks: They either keep moving or they die. ~J.R. Ward

so this crow comes and it starts quacking at us.

If we all had an additional twelve hours a day, think of how far mankind could advance in just a year! That’s exactly what I’d be thinking about while I was sleeping twenty hours a...

I’m a survivor of life. I try to give the glory to God and appreciate what’s happening to me.

We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off.

A celebrity farts, and everyone endures, but the unpopular will be thrased to death.

As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone.

A brick is……… Well it’s a bloody brick what more do you want from me?

He did not go much further, but sat down on the cold floor and gave himself up to complete miserableness, for a long while. He thought of himself frying bacon and eggs in his own...

I moved to assist, but never got the chance. there was some pretty violent banging for a minute, and then a tearing sound. Finally the stall door flew open, and Ray’s shirtless body emerged and...

I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side.

Yeah 220, 221 whatever it takes!” Michael Keaton character in “Mr. Mom

My advice for a person who’s just fallen out of a skyscraper window is, Flap your arms…faster.

Tell me about yourself, Miss Russel.”I started to give him the obligatory response, first the demurral and then the reluctant flat autobiography, but some slight air of polite inattention in his manner stopped me. Instead,...

With all the money my uncle embezzled over the years, it’s no surprise he lives in a gated community. But what is amazing, however, is that he somehow managed to get his own cell.

Looks like he’s lost a guinea and found a farthing,” Horace said, then added, unnecessarily, “Will, I mean.”Halt turned in his saddle to regard the younger man and raised an eyebrow.”I may be almost senile...

The walking tour guides one through the city’s various landmarks, reciting bits of information the listener might find enlightening. I learned, for example, that in the late 1500s my little neighborhood square was a popular...

I shot him a look. “That bouncer was really big.”His lips quirked. “Oh, Kitten, see, I try not to say bad things.””What?”The grin spread. “I would say size doesn’t matter but it does. I would...

He caught her staring and smiled-not a conceited I-work-out-and-have-a-great-body type smirk, but more of a I’m-a-boy; you’re-a-girl; life is good.

I was on stage and I was like I will pay someone to do my time, not only will I expect NOT to be paid, but I will pay someone if I can run off...

I am what prevents the Accelerator from being a bomb.””Except you didn’t,” said Gracious. “Because you weren’t around.””I got bored.””You’re a machine.””Machines can become bored, too.”Gracious looked suddenly concerned. “My toaster is bored?””Perhaps, ” said...

Secret 1.4. The real question isn’t whether you’re cleared for top secret, it’s whether you’re cleared for unclassified.

Oops.” ~Luna’s POV, Clash of the Clans: Shinobi 7 Companion Book #1

I had a dream about you. We were running on the beach, holding hands. It was a nude beach, but we were the only ones wearing clothes. You wore a bikini, and I wore my...

Who cares even if I didn’t?!” Conor shouted back. “They’re just stupid berries. Woo-hoo, so scary. Oh, please, please, save me from the berries!”The monster looked at him quizzically. How strange, it said. The words...

He’s sitting casually at my kitchen table peeling the skin off an applewith a pocket knife, a red apple that he has quite obviously appropriated from my fruit bowl, might I add.

I want to get the huge wart that looks like a nose removed from my back, but first I’m going to try to grow a mustache underneath it, to make it less noticeable.

What would Golan Do? That way I can ask myself before I do anything. Before I take a dump. How would Dr. Golan want me to take this dump? Should I bank it off the...

If you have an impulse, not if you’re going to ruin someone elses’ scene, if you have an impulse of a funny little add-on or taking something in a weird direction, try it.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him participate in synchronized diving.

JASON: ‘Intended wings.’ How depressing.MICHAEL: Yes. Makes them into suicides, really, the pigeons.JASON: No – no, it doesn’t. It could mean the wings were ‘intended’ to carry them upwards, out of the darkness, but they...

Dean: Don’t you find that somewhat of an aberration? Doesn’t this disturb you my dear? After all, it’s not normal. Molly: I know it’s not normal for people in this world to be happy, and...