I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!

You are the best, most loving, supportive family anyone could ever have,” I said through my sobs. “I’m so sorry if I’m a burden.”They all told me not to be so bloody silly, I told...

The best plans are always the simplest.

There is no problem on earth that can’t be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.

Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable.

The sky was like ebony and the only illumination was the harsh white light of the central streetlamp, which cast shadows so hard it seemed you might cut yourself on them.

Inviting a goblin to cross your threshold was a recipe for disaster, and certainly worse than doing the same with a vampire. With the latter all you got was a nasty bite, but the company,...

Truly competent Literary Detectives are as rare as truthful men, Mr. Tweed — you can see her potential as clearly as I can. Frightened of someone stealing your thunder, perhaps?

Without unscrambled eggs, there was no time travel, no more depredation of the Now, and we could look to a brighter future of long-term thought–and more reading.

Though his death would not fill me with any sense of sadness, I would probably feel the loss. Even enemies are part of one.

The course of true love rarely runs smooth.

Prices of semicolons, plot devices, prologues and inciting incidents continued to fall yesterday, lopping twenty points off the TomJones Index.

Mr. McGregor’s a nasty piece of work, isn’t he? Quite the Darth Vader of children’s literature.

So you’re going to have to ask yourselves on simple question: Which one of us is speaking now?

True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good–and we all know how rare that is…

A surfeit of information often hides an untruth,” he said, with annoying clarity.

And we kissed again. It was a warm, indescribably lovely feeling. But it was more than just physical. It was a dialogue between two young people with high ideals and a Big Plan. It was...

For myself, I favored the abstract. I collected not just obsolete terms and words, but ideas.

How fishy on the fishiness scale? Ten is a stickleback and one is a whale shark.””A whale isn’t a fish, Thursday.””A whale shark is–sort of.””All right, it’s as fishy as a crayfish.””A crayfish isn’t a...

Anything devised by man has bureaucracy, corrpution and error hardwired at inception.

What you see is what I am. I’ve not had my boobs done or my arse lifted, no nips, no tucks. No ribs removed, nothing. Those little strumpets we see on the silver screen today...

Love and magic are like oil and water–they just don’t mix.

I got mixed up with some oddness in my youth, and the long and short of it is that I can’t shuffle off this mortal coil until I have read the ten most boring classics.

You have many fine qualities that I admire. But you are out of time. You should have been born a century ago, when values such as yours meant something.

Death doesn’t care about personalities – he’s more interested in meeting quotas.

I’m sure it’s not all hot buttered crumpets out there in the breathing world of asphalt and heartbeats.

7. 3. 12. 31. 208: Reckless disrespect of the lightless hours will not be tolerated.

Our own dimension was coded ID-11 and was the only League member with diphtheria, David Hasselhoff and the French, which amused the rest of the multiverse no end.

We’re in a psuedoscientific technobabble.

…although her mouth uttered fond words, her eyes spoke only venom.

I was born on a Thursday, hence the name. My brother was born on a Monday and they called him Anton–go figure. My mother was called Wednesday, but was born on a Sunday–I don’t know...

If you expect me to believe that a lawyer wrote A Midsummer Night’s Dream, I must be dafter than I look.

Believe me, you’re going to have to do much worse than this–in the pursuit of freedom, the innocents will suffer–and at your hands.

Magic is the fifth fundamental force and is even more mysterious than gravity, which is really saying something.

Edward, Edward,” he said with a patronising smile, “there are no unanswered questions of any relevance. Every question that we need to ask has been answered fully. If you can’t find the correct answer then...

Literary detection and firearms don’t really go hand in hand; pen mighter than the sword and so forth.

The very possibility of death focuses the mind wonderfully.

In fact, the room was so quiet you might have heard a drop of paint splash.

Miltons were, on the whole, the most enthusiastic poet followers. A flick through the London telephone directory would yield about four thousand John Miltons, two thousand William Blakes, a thousand or so Samuel Colleridges, five...

Keep your head down, Edward. Those that see too much quickly find themselves seeing nothing at all.

Another one of your quippy japes?

Never underestimate the capacity for romance, no matter what the circumstances.

Pretty?’ I said, swivelling in the driver’s seat to face him, ‘you want to ask me out because I’m pretty?’ ‘Is there a problem with asking you out because you’re pretty?’ ‘I think you blew...

History has rewritten itself so many times I’m not really sure how it was to begin with — it’s a bit like trying to guess the original color of a wall when it’s been repainted...

But that was what research and development were like. Full of semi-triumphs and perplexing unforeseen consequences like the whole violent hiccuping thing when conjuring up fire – or the propensity for fillings to fall out...

Marriage is an honorable estate and should not be used simply as an excuse for legal intercourse.

If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution.

Outside Styx’s apartment was not the first time Rochester and I had met, or would it be the last. We first encountered each other at Haworth House in Yorkshire when my mind was young and...

I’m beginning to think you’re the sort of person who does a great deal with very little.”He meant a liar.

She looked around at the close confines of the NCD offices. They were cramped and untidy. No. They were worse than that. They had gone through cramped and untidy, paused briefly at small and shabby...