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Jasper Fforde  Quotes
Don’t ever call me mad, Mycroft. I’m not mad. I’m just … well, differently moraled, that’s all.

—Jasper Fforde

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EuphemismEvilHumor
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They had just digested a recent meal of prepositions and were happily farting out apostrophes and ampersands; the air was heav’y with th’em&.

—Jasper Fforde

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FantasyJasper-FfordeMystery
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The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable.

—Jasper Fforde

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FoodHumorVegetarian
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Have you ever wondered how nostalgia isn”t what it used to be?

—Jasper Fforde

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NostalgiaTime-Travel
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Bowden Cable is the sort of honest and dependable operative that is the backbone of SpecOps. They never win commendations or medalsand the public has no knowledge of them at all. They are all worth...

—Jasper Fforde

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TruthWisdom
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Now and again. Good residency is about having the power to ask someone to do something, but not necessarily exercising it.

—Jasper Fforde

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ChoicesPower
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Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous.

—Jasper Fforde

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BookworldComedyFforde
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I don’t need you to agree with me,” she said quietly.” I’ll go away happy with a little bit of doubt. Doubt is good. It’s an emotion we can build on. Perhaps if we feed...

—Jasper Fforde

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ActionBlossomCuriosity
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Fiction wouldn’t be much fun without its fair share of scoundrels, and they have to live somewhere.

—Jasper Fforde

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FictionHumorOn-Fiction
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Chromatacia…society…ruled by a colortocracy…social hierarchy based upon one’s limited color perception, society is dominated by color. In this world, you are what you can see.

—Jasper Fforde

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ColortocracyColourPerceptions
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The Special Operations Network was instigated to handle policing duties considered either too unusual or too specialized to be tackled by the regular force. There were thirty departments in all, starting at the more mundane...

—Jasper Fforde

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AntiterrorismArtCrime
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She wasn’t the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderly whether she liked it or not, and Sherlock Holmes wore a deerstalker and smoked a ridiculously large pipe....

—Jasper Fforde

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Harry-PotterHumor
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If it weren’t for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gough, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong.

—Jasper Fforde

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ArtBuildingsGreed
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magic swirls about us like an invisible fog of energy that can be tapped by those gifted enough, using a variety of techniques that center on layered spelling, mumbled incantations, and a burst of concentrated...

—Jasper Fforde

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FantasyJasper-FfordeMagic
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Individual words, sounds, squiggles on paper with no meanings other than those with which our imagination can clothe them.

—Jasper Fforde

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Language
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I was in ’78 recently,” he announced. “I brought you this.”He handed me a single by the Beatles. I didn’t recognize the title.”Didn’t they split in ’70?””Not always. How are things?

—Jasper Fforde

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Time-Travel
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For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.

—Jasper Fforde

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Philosophy
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You’re just a huge romantic at heart, aren’t you?””If there’s cash involved, I’m anything you want me to be.

—Jasper Fforde

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CashLoveMoney
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I think Wordsworth was as surprised to see me as I was him. It can’t be usual to go to your favorite memory only to find someone already there, admiring the view ahead of you.

—Jasper Fforde

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MemoriesPoet
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If a shred of integrity fell into your soul, it would die a very lonely death.

—Jasper Fforde

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HumorInsultsIntegrity
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but the Outlanders are fooling themselves. The BookWorld is as orderly as people in the RealWorld *hope* their own world to be—it isn’t a mirror, it’s an aspiration.

—Jasper Fforde

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FictionReality
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Before, I suspected I might not amount to anything, and now I now I won’t, so at least it takes away the wearisome burden of delusive hope

—Jasper Fforde

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FutureProvidence
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No one would argue that we owe a debt of gratitude to the Goliath Corporation. They helped us to rebuild after the Second War and it should not be forgotten. Of late, however, it seems...

—Jasper Fforde

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AltruismBlack-MailDebt
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Those that see too much quickly find themselves seeing nothing at all.

—Jasper Fforde

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AnxiousCuriosityDeath
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Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.

—Jasper Fforde

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DeathHumor
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PDR: Persons of Dubious Reality; refugees from the collective consciousness. Uninvited visitors who have fallen through the grating that divides the real, from the written. They arrive with their actions hardwired due to their repetitious...

—Jasper Fforde

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DubiousFantasyHumor
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Sometimes, a word succeeds beyond the wildest dreams of its creators, like a virus sent into the world to infect common speech.

—Jasper Fforde

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HumorLanguage
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Honor is kind of what you get when you weaponize manners …

—Jasper Fforde

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FunnyInsightful
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the Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor.

—Jasper Fforde

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BooksHumorLife
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The best reason for committing loathsome and detestable acts–and let’s face it, I am considered something of an expert in this field–is purely for their own sake. Monetary gain is all very well, but it...

—Jasper Fforde

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AvariceDetestableDilutes
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Funding for the Special Operations Network comes directly from the government. Most work is centralized, but all of the SpecOps divisions have local representatives to keep a watchful eye on any provincial problems. They are...

—Jasper Fforde

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ArroganceBloody-MindednessConfused
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Sometimes I wonder if the human race isn’t collectively as mad as a sack of door knobs.

—Jasper Fforde

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Door-KnobsHumorMadness
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After all, reading is arguably a far more creative and imaginative process than writing; when the reader creates emotion in their head, or the colors of the sky during the setting sun, or the smell...

—Jasper Fforde

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Reading
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Soothsayers are like that. They see many futures but never their own.

—Jasper Fforde

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FuturePre-CogProphet
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All of everything came into existence simply because it wanted to be. The big bang wasn’t so much a big bang as a hasty dash toward an opportunity to trade nothingness for somethingness. The main...

—Jasper Fforde

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Cause-And-EffectCreationEverything
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Curiosity is a descending stair…that leads to only who-knows-where.

—Jasper Fforde

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Curiosity
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Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.

—Jasper Fforde

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HumorInsultsPut-Downs
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You like economics, don’t you?’ I asked. ‘Everyone should know the basics,’ said the Princess. ‘Lasting peace will only be brought about through economic means – we should be trading with the Trolls rather than...

—Jasper Fforde

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Peace
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That’s the thing about destiny: It can’t be predicted, and it’s usually pretty odd.

—Jasper Fforde

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Destiny
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Love is a wonderful thing, my dear, but it leaves you wide open for blackmail.

—Jasper Fforde

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BlackmailLoveWonderful
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Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can’t be...

—Jasper Fforde

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BaconHot-BathsHumour
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There is no point in expending good money on the pursuit of an engine that can power aircraft without propellers. What is wrong with airships anyway? They have borne mankind aloft for over a hundred...

—Jasper Fforde

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Accident-FreeAircraftAirships
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Try to be pleasant to one another, get plenty of fresh air, read a good book now and then, depose your government when it suspends the free press, try to use the mechanism of the...

—Jasper Fforde

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DiplomacyFree-PressGovernment
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Cash is always the deciding factor in such matters of moral politics; nothing ever gets done unless motivated by commerce or greed.

—Jasper Fforde

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Capitalism
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Take no heed of her…. She reads a lot of books.

—Jasper Fforde

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BooksReading
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There are two schools of thought about the resilience of time. The first is that time is highly volatile, with every small event altering the possible outcome of the earth’s future. The other view is...

—Jasper Fforde

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FuturePresentRigid
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Said by Colin the dragon:”It’s somewhat bizarre to learn that many of you (humans)think that other humans are somehow different enough to be hated and killed, when in reality you’re all all tiresomely similiar in...

—Jasper Fforde

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Human-RelationshipsHumansHumor
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You see? I know where every single book used to be in the library.’ She pointed to the shelf opposite. ‘Over there was Catch-22, which was a hugely popular fishing book and one of a...

—Jasper Fforde

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BooksCatch-22Fishing
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I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!

—Jasper Fforde

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First-PersonHumorPov
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You are the best, most loving, supportive family anyone could ever have,” I said through my sobs. “I’m so sorry if I’m a burden.”They all told me not to be so bloody silly, I told...

—Jasper Fforde

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Family
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