I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.

I’m a godmother, that’s a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that’s cute, I taught her that.

There are all sorts of books offering advice on how to deal with life-threatening situations, but where’s the advice on dealing with embarrassing ones?

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

It’s even more awkward when we’re face to face with people. It used to be exciting to make plans with friends because you could sit and catch up and talk about what’s been going on...

Take a nap in a fireplace and you’ll sleep like a log.

Start thinking positively. You will notice a difference. Instead of “I think I’m a loser,” try “I definitely am a loser.” Stop being wishy-washy about things! How much more of a loser can you be...

Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.

To me, beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin.

Things will get easier, people’s minds will change, and you should be alive to see it.

If you want to test cosmetics, why do it on some poor animal who hasn’t done anything? They should use prisoners who have been convicted of murder or rape instead. So, rather than seeing if...

I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it’s such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you’ve never sung before, and you realize you’ve never sung the right words in that song? You hear them and all of a sudden you say...

Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It’s about knowing and accepting who you are.

The word “yoga” literally means “uniting”, because when you’re doing it you are uniting your mind and your body. You can tell this almost immediately because your mind will be thinking, “Ouch, that hurts,” and...

Answers to Frequently Asked Questions:Yes.Yes.No.One time in high school.Three times in my twenties.Rocks no salt.Yes.Four.Never. And how dare you!I will take no further questions.

Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.

…we should be grateful for them because without our family—the ancestors we descend from, the cousins we see once a year, the loves our lives we see every day—life is pretty boring.

When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.

Emote. It’s okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.

Haiku sounds like I’mSaying hi to someone namedKu. Hi, Ku. Hello.

You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that’s how it’s spelled.

The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren’t any space aliens. We can’t be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we’re not all there...

It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves.

It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive.

Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about.

My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.

Some people believe that to find happiness, you should live each day of your life as if it’s your last because that way you will appreciate every single moment you have. Other people believe that...

Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside – to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.

Dan: ‘Ah, well, I hope this didn’t have anything to do with me.’Ellen: ‘No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman.

If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you’re not Jesus, you should start telling people your birthday is on June 9 or something. Just read up on the traits of a Gemini. Suddenly you’re...

Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days.

When I look back on the stuff I used to wear, I wonder why somebody didn’t try to stop me. Just a friendly warning, “You may regret this,” would have been fine.

Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn’t enough. You also have to move the chair.

It’s funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.

Well you scared me half to death. You can’t just pick up the phone and try to talk to me like that. Don’t the tips of your fingers work?

It must be around forty, when you’re “over the hill.” I don’t even know what that means and why it’s a bad thing. When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means...

The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.

You know, it’s hard work to write a book. I can’t tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing...

Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe’s way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast. Listen to the music. Whoa whoa, listen to the music. Because music...

Be kind to one another. Bye, bye.

Life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy by yourself and for yourself. Happiness comes...

True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is about who you are as a human being, your principles, your moral compass.

Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were...

It’s failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.

I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That’s really why I do what I do.