He shook his head. He didn’t know. He couldn’t tell when he had woken fully. He walked to the horses. They definitely seemed alarmed. But then, they would. After all, he had just leapt to...

A Kiss is a terrible name for a piece of chocolate shaped like a water droplet, because kisses are hot and would melt chocolate—even if it is wearing an astronaut suit made out of tinfoil.

Judd Is My Boyfriend” memorabilia. In the normal course of events, civilians wouldn’t have gotten anywhere near the former Arrow, but it had been impossible to evacuate the entire city prior to the Pure Psy...

I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails.

I am a vicious and unrepentant killer who should be locked up. With him, my idiot boyfriend.

Great Listener Seeks Mute Woman.

How very wet this water is.

I’ve been trying to start a garage band for over a decade now, but father won’t move his car.

Ultimately, that question can only be answered by you.

Don’t you just hate that, you meet a girl she seems pretty nice, you tell all your friends and before you know it she turns out to be a vampire, don’t you just hate it...

Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world.

Ender began to eat, slowly and carefully, pretending not to notice he was the center of attention.

Captain Jibby looked at the door, clenched his teeth, and worked his face into a scowl so fierce you would think the door had insulted his mother – which, for the record, it had not.

Matt would stare at Andrew for 10 minutes. It’s depressing that people are different. Everyone should be one person, who should then kill itself in hand-to-hand combat.

No other foreskin could have caused such trouble.

maybe somebody finally shot the dog.

This is Simba,” Nicole said, pointing to the lion. “Is he dangerous?” Asked Chase.”Not really. He mauled a trainer, but nothing much.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I’m 30% in love, and if I ever rise to 70%, then I’ll be 100% in love. But I’ll still be mathematically challenged.

A Guide for Good Girls Who (Sometimes) Want to Be Bad,” out loud.But life did not come with a trapdoor.

Alec licked his spoon, then set it on the table and popped his drink open. “Okay, I may be breaking some kind of girl bonding rule or something, but can I offer you a guy’s...

I want to write a book about shoes that’s full of footnotes.

Stick.” I said in Russian. I had no clue what the word for stake was. I pointed at the silver ring I wore and made a slashing motion. “Stick. where?” He stared at me in...

He was right. The annoying Disney song was right. The universe was too fucking small.

Whoa, Rebecca,” Talia said smiling even wider, “Walking on the wild side, are we?”Raisa seemed to think the situation needed more explaining. “He – uh – I’m tutoring him.””She is,” Han said solemnly. “She’s very...

Always drink upstream from the herd.

It’s awful bad luck to bring a woman aboard the ship.””It’s awful worse luck not to.

I want to be more like James Bond, and less like Ian Fleming.

Your sister and I were just makin’ out.

Pictures in women’s self-defense books never show women kicking other women. The idea is to leave something to the imagination.

I don’t need love. I live in a forest. The quiet is my companion. The cold is my warmth. My heart once suffered from frostbite, but I removed and replaced it with a fuel pump.

For me, everything definitely comes from music.

Saw a headline: ‘Killers Executed In Three States.’ How is drawing out their executions like that not cruel and unusual punishment???

You know, poets and songwriters have long known that people like repetition. You know, poets and songwriters have long known that people like repetition. I guess when I say people, I mean everyone but my...

And to think I was always worried that you didn’t have any friends. I suppose I should have been counting my blessings.

In an opposite universe, the iconoclast creates the icon. – Why We Couldn’t Possibly Be Living in an Opposite Universe, Reason 11.9

Go ahead, stick it in my butt.” Love is much more than that. Love is also a logo. I know, because I have it tattooed on my ass.

The real mystery isn’t what’s under the redaction mark, but what’s above it.

Man has become a tool of his tools? Man, what a tool.

I am the Guillotine of Love, and I will never lose my head over another woman again.

life has a funny way of testing you to see if you really want, what you say you want.

Kiss the girls and make them neither confirm nor deny.

Agatha’s love had wings like a penguin. Certainly this was a plus in the cold winter months. But our relationship never really took flight. It was grounded like a 747 minus 748.

I’ve written for the waste basket so often that we’ve become friends. He writes too, but it’s mostly garbage.

She was an idiot. An adorable, gorgeous, feisty, funny, sweet, sexy idiot.

If I were alone with my clone, and we were enjoying each others’ solitude, I’d have finally have met a man with whom I could hold a conversation consisting entirely of the repetitive response, “Yes,...

I knew I was in deep shit. I didn’t know how deep—just that I still hadn’t touched bottom.

Critics claim to see no evidence of CIA’s new policy of transparency. Well duh.

I have alchemised my love for Agatha, and turned it into gold, which is the embodiment of Orafoura. I am the Elixir of Love–hot, cold, dry, and moist, I am the quintessential element: Jell-O. Agatha...

She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades’s gym shorts.