Secret 7591.42.21. Avoiding weasel words in your intelligence analysis isn’t easy when your intelligence analysis is about weasels.

Who inspires me to write? My clone. I just want him to appreciate me as a person.

I’d like to point out that we’ve had zero problem reaching each other’s mouths.

Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion.

Salsa music is best when chewing on nachos. I’m a spicy lover. Taste me and see.

Woman troubles, heartbreak, Twilight ending? Whatever bugs your mind.”-Jared

I lost something magical in the process of growing up – my disillusionment.

A brick can be used as a nickname for people who are slow, both physically and intellectually.

I check every can of Barbasol I buy for dinosaur embryos. I haven’t found any yet, as evidenced by the lack of T-Rex screams in my apartment.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

I did a charity walk the other day. They asked for money, and I walked.

I’m a whore!”Miki hit the brakes…her hands.. gripping the steering wheel, glanced at Sara. “You’re not wearing any underwear, are you?”Sara let out a strangled squeal…

That’s the trouble with cookbooks. Like sex education and nuclear physics, they are founded on an illusion. They bespeak order, but they end in tears.

Mustaches are so cool that I not only have one—I have two. I wear both of mine above my eyes.

You read a book for the story, for each of its words,” Gordy said, “and you draw your cartoons for the story, for each of the words and images. And, yeah, you need to take...

Generally with the Oscars or the Emmys there isn’t much you can do until the nominations are announced. Then you know what kind of year you’re dealing with – what’s been overlooked, what the issues...

Just point me to the nearest eighties rock video,” I said.

Wehehehehell, if it isn’t Ollie-Ollie-oxidant-free…”You can take…all the tea in China…put it in a big brown…bag for me.He’s as sweet as tupelo honey; he’s an angel of the first degree.Men with insight…men in granite…knights in...

It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.

I don’t use big words to show off because it’s ostentatious.

Trust her; we girls are two sheets short of psycho when it comes to our special little time.

When it comes to being famous, you’re usually the last to know, and the first to deny it. Unless you were already famous in your head. In which case, party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth!

Like a statue, I’m hairless. Also like a statue, I have hair. Let’s make love like a dandelion goes bald in the breeze.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

I agree that sometimes it is difficult to choose between right and wrong, but not between right and stupid.

The Sweater Song.” Cats find that song very cleansing.

Nick rubbed his hand across his face as he tried to make sense of her prattle. But that was the thing about Simi. She seldom made sense.

I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with … G.””Sausages.

I was doing my little stand up shtick, the one I did for pretty girls, so they’d like me quickly and wouldn’t try too hard to actually get to know me beyond my role as...

Otter! Otter! Otter!Don’t lead cows to slaughter!I love you, and I knowI should’ve told you soon-aBut you didn’t buy the dolphin-safe tuna!

If you’re so pro-life, do me a favour: don’t lock arms and block medical clinics. If you’re so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.

I never intended to become a zombie huntress; I had only intended to protest prom, high school’s last bastion of patriarchal society.

Here, by the grace of God and an inside straight, we have a personality untouched by the psychotic taboos of our tribe – and you want to turn him into a carbon copy of every...

Isabelle snorted, “All the boys are gay. In this truck, anyway. Well, not you, Simon.””You noticed,” said Simon. “I think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual,” added Magnus. “Please never say those words in front...

Dixon was not unconscious of this awed reverence which was given to her; nor did she dislike it; it flattered her as much as Louis the Fourteenth was flattered by his courtiers shading their eyes...

Never follow the crowd….Until and unless you’re crossing the road…

Wait a second,” Clary said.”I never understand why people say that,” Luke said, to no one in particular. “I wasn’t going anywhere.

I wore a hat, to compensate for the fact that my pants were unzipped. When we made love, she asked if I brought a condom, so I showed her my tube socks. I brought two,...

Here,” Myrnin said, his voice still gentle and low. “Amelie said you had to work. No one said you had to work alone.” He picked up the next part and slotted it in, took the...

Attacking a provincial lord in his manor house, surrounded by guards…Honestly, Kell, I’d nearly forgotten how foolhardy you can be.”Foolhardy?” Kelsier asked with a laugh. “that wasn’t foolhardy – that was just a small diversion....

I often confuse fog and mist. But one is not the other any more than either are either. Let this be a lesson in love.

They came out in a dim, damp basement – a generic sort of place, full of moulding boxes. ‘You take me to the nicest places,’ Claire said, and sneezed.

However, if you do start crying in an argument and someone asks why, you can always say, “I’m just crying because of how wrong you are.

Holding hands with your lover is special, especially when that hand is plastic, and that lover is a mannequin.

Don’t fucking quote me!

Sometimes in my class I have people come in and do monologues inspired by people they know and I always find that to be useful to do specifics about somebody and then you’re actually doing...

I’ve been to a horse farm, a magical place where jockeys grow on trees. That’s where we made love for the first time like it was the second time.

I have absolutely no idea, Melinda,” he said, grinning.

The two seemed on casual terms, leading me to wonder how long this limousine had been in her life, and whether she had ever seen the inside, and if so, whether she climbed in the...

My girlfriend and I are close. She’s like a brother to me. My brother is also dating her. We make love like mannequins and mashed potatoes, despite the fact that I’m single and an only...