I should learn patience, it’s a shame there’s no time for that.

As a rule,I believe people shouldn’t follow rules;rules should follow people.

O The irony of man, he thinks his past generation did not repeat the same way of thinking, either intelligently or foolishly.

Assumptions are unopened windows that foolish birds fly into, and their broken bodies are evidence gathered too late.

During the first day, curious at having outsiders among them, a long stream of inmates came over and talked with me. Remarkably, according to what they told me, nearly every inmate in the prison didn’t do it. Several thousand people had been locked up unjustly and, by an incredible coincidence, all in the same prison.On...

Personally I know only one person who wrote about utopia. Afterwards he was executed. I suppose it’s not my genre.

Georgie, I’ve got it,” she said. “I’ve guessed what it means.”Now though Georgie was devoted to his Lucia, he was just as devoted to inductive reasoning, and Daisy Quantock was, with the exception of himself, far the most powerful logician in the place.”What is it, then?” he asked.”Stupid of me not to have thought of...

From even the greatest of horrors irony is seldom absent.

The irony of the human heart is that it’s tormented both by the presence and absence of it’s own soul’s counterpart.

The definition of irony – A Pope who refuses to give law enforcement the names of hundreds (or maybe thousands) of predatory homosexual pedophile priests around the world, then claiming that gay marriage will be the world’s undoing. (Speaking of Benedict the XVI.)

If I had a reader and he had read all I have written so far of my adventures, there would be certainly no need to inform him that I am not created for any sort of society. The trouble is I don’t know how to behave in company. If I go anywhere among a great...

My mind went back to that picture in the obstetrics book. A cow standing in the middle of a gleaming floor while a sleek veterinary surgeon in a spotless parturition overall inserted his arm to a polite distance. He was relaxed and smiling, the farmer and his helpers were smiling, even the cow was smiling....

While appreciating the beauty around her, Eden considered the darkness that lay ahead.

I find it really fascinating that while in an attempt to look beautiful we tend to go for what’s easily acceptable.But when it comes to portraits, it is only our facial flaws that make that picture worth its while, setting it apart.Isn’t it amazing to find that beauty is something that makes us alike? While...

I’d rather be partly great than entirely useless.

He had had much experience of physicians, and said ‘the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d druther not’.

People are raised to believe that happiness is the land to which they are destined to travel. But that belief, which one so easily accepts as true, might just as well be a mirage.

It has been said that civilization is the process of freeing human beings from each other, and that is true. But it takes people to free each other, because people cannot be freed from each other except by each other. The irony of this cannot be overstated.

The irony of sensory deprivation tanks is that in order to think outside the box, you must first go inside one.

He sure put things into words good.

And for God’s sake, if you need to shoot make sure to release the safety ,” he murmured, as we moved across the front, careful to stick to the shadows as often as we could. So far, I hadn’t seen anyone, not even zombies. It wasn’t uncommon for a straggler to come along, every now...

You’re not going to tell me they built fifty-foot-high killer golems, are you?””Only a man would think of that.It’s our job,” said Moist. “If you don’t think of fifty-foot-high killer golems first, someone else will.

This is not the “relativism of truth” presented by journalistic takes on postmodernism. Rather, the ironist’s cage is a state of irony by way of powerlessness and inactivity: In a world where terrorism makes cultural relativism harder and harder to defend against its critics, marauding international corporations follow fair-trade practices, increasing right-wing demagoguery and violence...

The world isn’t fair? What a huge revelation! Some people in power abuse those they have power over? Amazing! When did this start happening?

Inexplicably, I felt drops of icy sweat dripping up my back. I am aware that icy and sweat are contradictory by their very nature and should not be able to coexist in the same freakish bead of ICK WHAT IS THAT falling up my back. I am also aware things are not supposed to fall...

Nothing goes so well with a hot fire and buttered crumpets as a wet day without and a good dose of comfortable horrors within. The heavier the lashing of the rain and the ghastlier the details, the better the flavour seems to be.

Suddenly the thought that the end of her life was imminent shocked him; it was one thing to pity someone he didn’t know, quite another to face the same dilemma with someone he knew intimately. That was the trouble with beds. They turned strangers into intimates more quickly than ten years of polite teas in...

Sometimes, to fix something, you need to completely ruin something else

Papa said that the parish priest in Abba was not spiritual enough. That was the problem with our people, Papa told us, our priorities were wrong; we cared too much about huge church buildings and mighty statues. You would never see white people doing that.

She was heartily ashamed of her ignorance – a misplaced shame. Where people wish to attach, they should always be ignorant. To come with a well−informed mind is to come with an inability of administering to the vanity of others, which a sensible person would always wish to avoid. A woman especially, if she have...

As soon as you say it about a record, you’re like some little zombie in a funny dungeon.

When I’m 33, I quit.

Irony is a treacherous servant; unless it’s very carefully watched over, it has a tendency to expose the foolishness of its apparent master.

Even the best-laid plans turn to hell when exposed to reality.

Irony has only emergency use. Carried over time it is the voice of the trapped who have come to enjoy their cage.

It is a tragic and agonizing irony that instructions once delivered for the purpose of avoiding needless offense are now invoked in ways that needlessly offend, that words once meant to help draw people to the gospel now repel them.

I pound on the glass, screaming my head off. Everyone ignores me except for some Capitol attendant who appears behind me and offers me a beverage.

Wouldn’t it be ironic if everyone who got a radio up and running just sat around waiting for everyone else to transmit a message?

The irony of this format war is that it comes at the tail end of the century-long era of physical media.

Sometimes, the embers are better then the campfire. It’s strange, but it’s true.

The prince of darkness is a gentleman!

… And I wondered if we had disappointed God so much, that he wrote us off as pets, just alive to entertain.

You might as well laugh at yourself,everyone else is.

As soon as you stop wanting something, you get it.

How ya doin’?’ I always think, What kind of a question is that?, and I always reply, ‘A bit early to tell.

It’s awful, telling it like this, isn’t it? As though we didn’t know the ending. As though it could have another ending. It’s like watching Romeo drink poison. Every time you see it you get fooled into thinking his girlfriend might wake up and stop him. Every single time you see it you want to...

Crazy things seem normal, normal things seem crazy.

I had a second friend come over to my house, and do you know what I called her? A refill. If relationships aren’t drinkable, why do we thirst for them so much?

I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.

How unfortunate, considering I have decided to loathe him for eternity