I should learn patience, it’s a shame there’s no time for that.

Sometimes, to fix something, you need to completely ruin something else

Papa said that the parish priest in Abba was not spiritual enough. That was the problem with our people, Papa told us, our priorities were wrong; we cared too much about huge church buildings and mighty statues. You would never see white people doing that.

She was heartily ashamed of her ignorance – a misplaced shame. Where people wish to attach, they should always be ignorant. To come with a well−informed mind is to come with an inability of administering to the vanity of others, which a sensible person would always wish to avoid. A woman especially, if she have...

As soon as you say it about a record, you’re like some little zombie in a funny dungeon.

When I’m 33, I quit.

Irony is a treacherous servant; unless it’s very carefully watched over, it has a tendency to expose the foolishness of its apparent master.

Even the best-laid plans turn to hell when exposed to reality.

Irony has only emergency use. Carried over time it is the voice of the trapped who have come to enjoy their cage.

It is a tragic and agonizing irony that instructions once delivered for the purpose of avoiding needless offense are now invoked in ways that needlessly offend, that words once meant to help draw people to the gospel now repel them.

I pound on the glass, screaming my head off. Everyone ignores me except for some Capitol attendant who appears behind me and offers me a beverage.

Wouldn’t it be ironic if everyone who got a radio up and running just sat around waiting for everyone else to transmit a message?

The irony of this format war is that it comes at the tail end of the century-long era of physical media.

Sometimes, the embers are better then the campfire. It’s strange, but it’s true.

The prince of darkness is a gentleman!

This is not the “relativism of truth” presented by journalistic takes on postmodernism. Rather, the ironist’s cage is a state of irony by way of powerlessness and inactivity: In a world where terrorism makes cultural relativism harder and harder to defend against its critics, marauding international corporations follow fair-trade practices, increasing right-wing demagoguery and violence...

The world isn’t fair? What a huge revelation! Some people in power abuse those they have power over? Amazing! When did this start happening?

Inexplicably, I felt drops of icy sweat dripping up my back. I am aware that icy and sweat are contradictory by their very nature and should not be able to coexist in the same freakish bead of ICK WHAT IS THAT falling up my back. I am also aware things are not supposed to fall...

Nothing goes so well with a hot fire and buttered crumpets as a wet day without and a good dose of comfortable horrors within. The heavier the lashing of the rain and the ghastlier the details, the better the flavour seems to be.

Suddenly the thought that the end of her life was imminent shocked him; it was one thing to pity someone he didn’t know, quite another to face the same dilemma with someone he knew intimately. That was the trouble with beds. They turned strangers into intimates more quickly than ten years of polite teas in...

Crazy things seem normal, normal things seem crazy.

I had a second friend come over to my house, and do you know what I called her? A refill. If relationships aren’t drinkable, why do we thirst for them so much?

I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.

How unfortunate, considering I have decided to loathe him for eternity

This place is packed with beautiful hipsters. While the Coney Island bombast radiated sincerity, everything here seems more ironic. When someone in the crowd ironically chants, ‘USA!’ someone else ironically chants back, ‘Mother Russia.

I preyed on this sort of thing, discontentment, a clash of passions among the rivals, and the zealots. Open sores opened secrets. That’s how I roll.” Jackson Guild, The Trinity Conspiracy, Betrayal at Black Mesa

But though it had prevailed against such fierce adversaries as fire and flood, it had fallen victim softly and swiftly to television in the 1960’s.

The blessing of the omnivore is that he can eat a great many different things in nature. The curse of the omnivore is that when it comes to figuring out which of those things are safe to eat, he’s pretty much on his own.

What a refreshing mind you have, young man. There really is nothing quite like total ignorance, is there?

Even things that are true can be proved.

Is there some irony here? Probably. But sometimes in order to enact real reform, interesting alliances have to be made.

Good judgment comes by way of experience, which comes of bad judgment.

[Or perhaps my friends should have realized that they shouldn’t have left behind the FRICKING REASON FOR THEIR PROTEST!And that thought just cracked me up.]It was like my friends had walked over the backs of baby seals in order to get to the beach where they could protest against the slaughter of baby seals.

The whole damn century would’ve made more sense backwards. Where we ended is worse than where we began.

and their days make no story for they were good and joyful and without event

O young girl, throw yourself again into the water so that I might have a second time the chance to save the two of us!” A second time, eh, what imprudence! Suppose, dear sir, someone actually took our word for it? It would have to be fulfilled. Brr…! the water is so cold! But let’s...

You might as well laugh at yourself,everyone else is.

As soon as you stop wanting something, you get it.

How ya doin’?’ I always think, What kind of a question is that?, and I always reply, ‘A bit early to tell.

It’s awful, telling it like this, isn’t it? As though we didn’t know the ending. As though it could have another ending. It’s like watching Romeo drink poison. Every time you see it you get fooled into thinking his girlfriend might wake up and stop him. Every single time you see it you want to...

Wrath: look at how their folklore portrays our species. There’s Dracula for Christ’s sake, an evil bloodsucker who preys on the defenseless. There’s piss-poor B movies and porn. And don’t get me started on the whole Halloween thing. Plastic fangs. Black capes. The only thing the idiots got right are that we drink blood and...

With every mistake, we must surely be learning.

«It’s true, Christian-like or not; and is about as Christian-like as most other things in the world,» said Alfred.

He expects us to kill him,” Palomides said to Dinadan.”Some people are so demanding,” Dinadan replied. “Considering we’ve only just met, I mean.

Værsåartig, her var nu litt om bær, vore bærsorter…

Once you hold the hand of Death, the only thing in life that can scare you is a sense of humor.

Curley’s wife lay with a half-covering of yellow hay. And the meanness and the plannings and the discontent and the ache for attention were all gone from her face. She was pretty and simple, and her face was sweet and young. Now her rouged cheeks and reddened lips made her seem alive and sleeping very...

Everybody granted that if “Tom” were white and free it would be unquestionably right to punish him–it would be no loss to anybody; but to shut up a valuable slave for life–that was quite another matter. As soon as the Governor understood the case, he pardoned Tom at once, and the creditors sold him down...

I actually feel quite self-indulgent at the moment, telling you all about me, me, me.(…) On the other hand, you’re a human -you should understand self obsession.

There is at least one advantage to being an Indonesian citizen: With this country’s expanse of land and even greater expanse of sea, it’s not difficult finding space for one’s grave.