A blanket could be used as a bathtub tarp, keeping all the body’s heat in, and the police’s and murder victim’s wife’s eyes out.

This is a theater,” Bertie, annoyed by the inquisition, dropped him onto stage. Several feet of slack cable landed atop the fairy in a slithering heap.”Oh!” Peaseblossom said. “You’ve buried him alive!

A blanket could be used to settle disputes. Hold my penis while I demonstrate how it would work.

Eros mumbled something.”I’m sorry?” said Aphrodite.”Whatwouldjesusdo.””What would Jesus do?” said Aphrodite. “Let me tell you something. Jesus was a very good boy. He would do exactly what his mother told him to.””But-“”Jesus was supposed to...

I’ll weave the waves into a sea blanket of goodbye.

Am I higher or lower than she? It was always the vital question for Anna: who was superior, and how she could position herself so that she would be perceived as superior?

A blanket could be used to communicate with dolphins. Be quiet! I’m trying to talk to the swimming mammals.

Bitterblue had never seen a man naked, and she was curious. She decided the universe owed her a few minutes, just a few, to satisfy her curiosity. So she went to him and knelt, which...

A brick could be used in conjunction with another brick to be the Democrat and Republican Presidential candidates. People will say, Vote for the brick on the left, or, The brick on the right is...

She rolled over and sat up as he bent, tearing off his boots. “Whatcha doing?””Getting naked.””I like that.

A blanket could be used in exciting medical advancements, curing everything from shivers to tonitrophobia.

Who am I? I’m the Breeze, bitch!

I was once attacked by a Federal park. But due to governmental inefficiencies, I had to report it to highway patrol.

He sent Eliza a small smile before turning to Lawrence. “What say you and I return to the hotel for a bit? I need to check on my daughter, and you need some time away...

I don’t know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has something to do with – if I may judge from my own father, who used to sit and stare at...

Yo Mama’s like mustard, she spreads easy.

I had a tumor. But it was great.

With a nod, Thorne started down the street. ‘This way.’ Five steps later, he paused, pondered, turned around. ‘No, no, this way.’ ‘We’re dead.’ ‘No, I’ve got it now. It’s this way.’ ‘Don’t you have...

Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly.

It doesn’t matter if it’s the real world or fictional,” I insisted. “Crushes are the best part of liking someone, and they are completely safe. You get all the benefits of fantasising about someone, but...

…What do you do with all your money?””Me and the French hoard gold.

Every now and then you get a nice Jewish kid who likes black people and they would come in, and it would be a stream of them, and have black friends and really feel the...

I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are.

Seriously, it’s like watching mild porn, watching you two eye fuck each other every two seconds.

He slowed down a bit more. “Gaia, how do you know these things?” She shrugged. “I’m smart.” “And modest, too.” “Modesty is a waste of time,” she pronounced. “I’ll keep that in mind.

While death is sadly inevitable, our grief will soon pass like a swallowed penny through one’s bowels.Painful change just takes time.

My nickname isn’t Scarface—it’s Scarf Ace. I make knitted neck warmers like I make love—one grandmother at a time.

It’s Diet Coke. And if anyone ever serves you brown wine with a foamy head, send it back.

The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.

Hayır ya, hayır! Seks olmadan yaşamak. Bak düşün! Diyorum ki kötü bir şey olmasa. Misal, belki de çayı şekersiz içmek gibi. Başlarda acıdır, ama şekerli içtiğin yıllarda çayın tadını aslında hiç almadığını fark edersin ve...

I thanked the lucky stars for my great metabolism, because Karsen had showed me pictures of her mom once and it was scary the transformation she underwent after popping three kids out. She went from...

It’s between one and a lot,” he added, helpfully.

He’s turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he’s miserable and depressed.

We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.

On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me.

Daemon pressed his forehead against mine. “Oh, I still want to strangle you. But I’m insane. You’re crazy. Maybe that’s why. We just make crazy together.

I have a 12:34 representational time dance. I do it at 3:33 every other Tuesday (twice a day). If you’d like to participate in my choreographed dance routine, bring a football helmet and a half...

Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.

The Church being what she is cannot have the instincts of a gentleman.

If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.

Eddie Money and Johnny Cash should have collaborated. I’d have paid good last name to see them in concert.

As we drove uptown, I spotted a Kmart on a corner,with its familiar red sign.I cleared my throat.”Wait. Can we stop for a minute?””What for?””Just – I need a few things.”He looked irritated, but pulled...

I got a new car. I just need to put it together. They’re easier to steal piece by piece.

I gotta go. The gingerbread men are on

It doesn’t matter if I don’t have a suit, you should still invite me swimming. That’s the naked truth.

Jackass, jackass on the wall, where’s the info on Hex Hall?

Yesterday I saved a baby, a boy, a man, and an old man from death, and all by simply not impregnating anybody. But I don’t consider myself a hero. Merely heroic, and also unable to...

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can’t decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

I think the special thing about Python is that it’s a writers’ commune. The writers are in charge. The writers decide what the material is.

I just wrote a book. But don’t go and buy it yet, because I don’t think it’s finished.