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Coffee  Quotes
Taste of coffee varies with the person on the other end of table.

—Anonymous

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CoffeeOther-EndPerson
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A smoke, a book, a cup of coffee. These are the little things that get us through this sometimes weary world and all the rainy days.

—R.M. Engelhardt

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BooksCigarettesCoffee
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You should be too busy to do coffee while keeping an uncluttered calendar.

—Naval Ravikant

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BusyCalendarCoffee
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That’s what I do: I make coffee and occasionally succumb to suicidal nihilism. But you shouldn’t worry — poetry is still first. Cigarettes and alcohol follow

—Anne Sexton

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Anne-SextonCoffeeLetters
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Hello lover.

—Ethan Day

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CoffeeFunny
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Flower coffee—less caffeinated, more romantic. I wanted to be with her, but when I was, I felt like I’d rather wither.

—Jarod Kintz

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CaffeineCoffeeFlower
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Instant gratification is like instant coffee, only it won’t keep you up all night.

—Jarod Kintz

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AwakeCoffeeHumor
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I don’t know where my ideas come from. I will admit, however, that one key ingredient is caffeine. I get a couple cups of coffee into me and weird things just start to happen.

—Gary Larson

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CoffeeFunnyHumor
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I think now is the best time to be in love. No other time in history is more perfect than right now. Especially since I’m currently drinking coffee.

—Jarod Kintz

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CoffeeHumorLove
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I’m so tired I could drink a cup of coffee as deep as the Grand Canyon. But I couldn’t take the first sip, because I’m too afraid of heights to get close to the lip.

—Jarod Kintz

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CoffeeGrand-CanyonHeights
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Ask the police, and they’ll tell you I have a mug shot. They watched me take the picture before drinking the coffee out of the mug.

—Jarod Kintz

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CoffeeHumorMug-Shot
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My farts smell like coffee. Drink them up. But slowly, because they’re hot.

—Jarod Kintz

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CoffeeHumor
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I sing karaoke like I drink coffee. If my words come out a bit gargled, relax, that’s precisely how Hootie and the Blowfish is supposed to sound.

—Jarod Kintz

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CoffeeGargleHootie-And-The-Blowfish
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Snuggle time is my favorite time. Well, that and 12:34 and 3:33. And the time between when I take my first sip of coffee at 8 AM and when I finally wake up, at 5:00...

—Jarod Kintz

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AsleepAwakeCoffee
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Nick drank the coffee, the coffee according to Hopkins. The coffee was bitter. Nick laughed. It made a good ending to the story. His mind was starting to work. He knew he could choke it...

—Ernest Hemingway

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Big-Two-Hearted-RiverBlissCoffee
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I’ll know coffee works without cream and sugar when I see people buying unsweetened bakers chocolate for Valentine’s Day.

—Kevin Sinnott

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Coffee
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All the best days start with a latte and a time trip.

—P.K. Hrezo

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Best-DaysCoffeeTime-Travel
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Fueled by my inspiration, I ran across the room to steal the cup of coffee the bookshelf had taken prisoner. Lapping the black watery brew like a hyena, I tossed the empty cup aside. I...

—Roman Payne

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ArtArtistsArtists-Life
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A silent yawn is a scream for coffee

—T. Haque

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CoffeeStudying
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Coffee and doughnuts are great. But he needs to stop aiding and abetting illegal immigrants. That would be the kindest thing he could do.

—Rosanna Pulido

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Coffee
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Never say no to coffee

—Cesar

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CoffeeQuote
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The staying awake was a great self-sacrificaing gesture of friendship, and wonderfully in keeping with our current mood of intense friendship and religious fervour. We were all in a state of shock. We engaged in...

—Antal Szerb

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CoffeeConversationsDostoievsky
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Coffee and donuts go together like government policy and subsequent poverty.

—Jarod Kintz

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CoffeeDonutsGovernment
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I’ve got two jobs to do. One of those jobs is to not cry. It’s not a job, but it is in its isn’tness. I could go for either a cup of coffee, or an...

—Jarod Kintz

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CoffeeCryCrying
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When I saw a murder taking place, I almost didn’t have time to make coffee before stopping it. But thank God I did, because otherwise somebody would have died—and even worse, I’d be tired.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdCoffeeDeath
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I wear brown shirts to protect against the combination of coffee and clumsiness.

—Jarod Kintz

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ClothingClumsinessClumsy
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She’s the kind of woman where if you give her an inch, she’ll take the whole penis. She took all I had, and she didn’t even take me out to coffee.

—Jarod Kintz

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AdvantageCoffeeEnis
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I drink coffee the way most men tie their shoes, and I’m liable to slip on a sip if I don’t follow their lead.

—Jarod Kintz

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CoffeeHumorLead
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My high-performance hair is shaped like a sports car, and when I chug coffee it sounds like a jet engine. Women don’t find me attractive, but only because women don’t find me (I’m living off...

—Jarod Kintz

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AttractiveChugCoffee
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I treat strangers like friends, friends like family, and family like strangers. And I make love like a cup of coffee that likes a cup of tea.

—Jarod Kintz

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CoffeeFamilyFriendship
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I sell sex by the coffee cup. I don’t go by small, medium, or large, I go by deep, deeper, and deepest.

—Jarod Kintz

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BusinessCoffeeDeal
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I’ll eat this world like coffee-flavored bubblegum. I’ll chew thoroughly before I swallow.

—Jarod Kintz

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BubblegumChewCoffee
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She put her cup down and sighed again with pleasure. “I can’t think how the Nonconformists have failed to discover coffee.” “Discover it?””Yes. As a snare. It does far more for one than drink. And...

—Josephine Tey

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Coffee
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I grabbed a Twizzler and almost cracked a tooth biting off the stale ends. I stuck my makeshift red straw into my coffee and took a long sip and was rewarded with a dazzling smile...

—Lisa Roecker

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CoffeeKate-LowryMaddie-Greene
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She didn’t know what Liam made his coffee with, but it had to be magical sparkles and crack beans, because it was the most delicious stuff she’d ever tasted.

—Rachel Caine

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CoffeeHumor
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And thus Charles found himself wandering around a hotel, trailing federal agents as he held a cardboard coffee cup holder in each hand, instead of out killing misbehaving werewolves.

—Patricia Briggs

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Alpha-And-OmegaCharles-CornickCoffee
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‘Venti caramel macchiato, please,’ he said. ‘Hold the snobbery.’ The barista laughed and hit buttons on his register. ‘You sure? We’re having a sale on social mobility. The longer your coffee order takes to place,...

—S.W. Vaughn

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CoffeeSnobsWitty
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Marry the person who gives you the same feeling you get when you take the very first sip of COFFEE in the morning!

—Tanya Masse

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AdviceCoffeeLife
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Blind dates are treacherous. You don’t know who this person is. You wonder, ‘Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?’

—Alan Alda

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CallCoffeeWonder
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Vamos al Kiko’s a tomar un café. Todavía no tengo ganas de encerrarme.

—Carlos Fuentes

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Coffee
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The seasonal urge is strong in poets. Milton wrote chiefly in winter. Keats looked for spring to wake him up (as it did in the miraculous months of April and May, 1819). Burns chose autumn....

—Helen Bevington

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AlcoholAppleApples
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No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for “Before Coffee.

—Cherise Sinclair

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BcCoffeeMaster-Of-The-Mountain
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Her love was like cigarette smoke stirred into coffee. I drank it so fast it made me cough, but she’s not offering a refill at any price.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdBizarreCigarette
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I think Starbucks would go out of business if more people were to Superglue their eyelids open when they felt tired.

—Jarod Kintz

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CoffeeHumorSleepy
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I love Blue Ribbon coffee, and she loves Red Ribbon coffee. I don’t love her, because how could I love someone who loves losers?

—Jarod Kintz

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Blue-Ribbon-CoffeeCoffeeHumor
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I would be out of town, but every time I move, my home keeps relocating to where I’m at. My coffee is caffeinated, and my friends are either decaffeinated or nonexistent.

—Jarod Kintz

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CoffeeHumorNonexistent
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I bought a five-pound sack of sugar. Now I just need to buy a cup of coffee to dump it in.

—Jarod Kintz

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CoffeeHumorSugar
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When searching for a missing person, I’ll canvas the area. Like a painter. I make love like Bob Ross, only your happy tree is happier, and I’ll keep your coffee warm—in my stomach.

—Jarod Kintz

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ArtBob-RossCanvas
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What the hell makes you smart?” I asked.”I wouldn’t go for coffee with you.””Listen – I wouldn’t ask you.””That,” she replied, “is what makes you stupid.

—Erich Segal

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CleverCoffeeWitty
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Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.

—David Lynch

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Coffee
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