A smoke, a book, a cup of coffee. These are the little things that get us through this sometimes weary world and all the rainy days.

Taste of coffee varies with the person on the other end of table.

You should be too busy to do coffee while keeping an uncluttered calendar.

Coffee is not about having something to drink in cool weather, it’s about having something to drink when you are not sleeping

I’m 32 years old and I’m tired. It’s because I haven’t drank enough coffee. If I had, I’d probably only be 29.

I asked the girl at the coffee shop out on a date. Unfortunately she said no, probably because I asked her out to coffee.

She drowned in a coffee cup the size of a swimming pool. It really helped wake me up to my own mortality.

When I think about all the thinking I’ve done, I get sleepy, like a coffee-colored bear.

Thanks, I try to look good.

I’m 50% in love. To put that into a visual, I am a 3’ tall midget aspiring to be a 6’ tall man, with the coffee capacity of a narcoleptic camel.

I once said hello to a pack of goodbyes, but they were asleep to my coffee offering. They were running towards love, which is always running away from me.

This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.

My caution in terms of directly applying the caffeine or the coffee before sex to enhance your sexual drive or motivation would be that in this experiment, we gave only one dose of caffeine to...

Instead of cream, I like fog in my coffee. Makes me feel like I’m drinking the mystery that is love.

I like my coffee like I like myself….making rustling noises inside a burlap bag

i don’t know. i don’t care. all i know is when you pay for something that’s supposed to give you a cup of coffee, you deserve to get your fucking cup of coffee.

Where else do you have a thousand-dollar item sitting on a table in a coffee shop?

The philosopher Sir James Mackintosh had said that the powers of a man’s mind were proportionate to the quantity of coffee he drank, and Voltaire had knocked back fifty cups of it a day, so...

I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.

Ten years after the Boston Tea Party, tea was still far more popular than coffee, which only became the more popular drink in the mid-nineteenth century. Coffee’s popularity grew after the duty on imports was...

Me invitó a café, la nueva infusión que, procedente de Turquía, se hace cada vez más popular y causa furor en toda Europa. […] Es un líquido intensamente negro, muy aromático, con un sabor amargo...

December coffee futures have rallied about 10% in the past three days to $1.05 a pound from a low of 95 cents on Monday in response to the hurricane damage,

Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.

Go sip on gossip, and leave the coffee talk for me to chug. I’ll be in the kitchen, giggling like a schoolgirl if you need me.

Karate, I get a real kick out of it. I would get a kick out of coffee, but I’ve got better ways of stirring, like renting Michael Phelps’ 400 IM time.

Starbucks has odd drink sizes. I say man’s hands were meant to be cupped, so pour the hot coffee right in. But obviously I’ll need help pouring and stirring in cream and sugar, as my...

I love coffee, and coffee loves me. You know what else loves me? Hookers in hot paper cups.

Coffee is made from beans. Burritos also have beans in them, although I’ll admit a burrito isn’t as drinkable as a cup of coffee.

I always order a small coffee in a medium cup—to leave room for cream, without subtracting from the full amount of coffee I paid for. I’m like that with love too, except I don’t need...

My TV’s remote control didn’t have a source of energy, so I poured coffee in it. Now I can read any book I want.

Coffee excites my mind in ways not describable my words. The closest approximation is a sperm whale in orgasm, only silent and bubblier.

The fresh smell of coffee soon wafted through the apartment, the smell that separates night from day.

Wait!”What?” I lowered my cup hastily, wondering if maybe there was a stray hair, or worse, a newly boiled bug inside my cup.You got to smell it first. It’s the proper way to cup coffee.”Cup...

Bring me A bowl of coffee before I turn into a goat

Somehow, the Good Lord don’t want to see no man start a cold morning with just black coffee.

Coffee and character designs: That’s what my night’s lookin’ like.

We drank our coffee the Russian way. That is to say we had vodka before it and vodka afterwards.

What do you want?””Just coffee. Black – like my soul.

Considering the number of ghastly love poems that had been written and which seemed fairly clearly a waste of everyone’s time, Jonathan couldn’t help but be surprised that coffee hadn’t been thus immortalized.

I just bought a bag of potato-chip-flavored air. I also bought a bed, but sleep wasn’t included. Thank God a cup of coffee is full of wakefulness.

I’ll tug at your breasts like a thirsty child. Try not to burn your nipples in my hot coffee. While you’re at it, I also like sugar in my coffee.

I asked for the time, and she sold me a way to divide my attention into 12 equal parts. I asked her out to coffee, but she hinted there wasn’t a watch big enough to...

Business idea: People like to eat and drive, so why not make edible cars? Instead of gasoline, they’d run on coffee.

You can’t put water back in a cloud after a rain like you can with a sponge. Coffee flows out of my penis, and though it’s less caffeinated, it’s just as drinkable.

When rain comes down, the chance of rainbows goes up. Likewise, when my coffee goes down, I wake up. Hopefully I wake up in your bed.

Oompow,” which I would translate for you but it’s devastatingly embarrassing.

Working in a hotel is the anti-coffee shop, because instead of it being a place that’ll wake you up, it’s a place to sleep. And it’s a place to have sex, which is something Starbucks...

That’s something that annoys the hell out of me- I mean if somebody says the coffee’s all ready and it isn’t

The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.

We’re growing up and I don’t like it,” said Tacy, as they say at Heinz’s later, drinking coffee.