Taste of coffee varies with the person on the other end of table.

You should be too busy to do coffee while keeping an uncluttered calendar.

First dentistry was painless.Then bicycles were chainless,Carriages were horseless,And many laws enforceless.Next cookery was fireless,Telegraphy was wireless,Cigars were nicotineless,And coffee caffeineless.Soon oranges were seedless,The putting green was weedless,The college boy was hatless,The proper diet fatless.New...

If this is decaf, I’m going to pour it on your head.

I drink coffee like a civilized man—alone in a cave, wearing a loincloth, and grunting in frustration because my club is too thick to fit in my cup to stir in the sugar.

Growing up I was so poor I wore coffee cups as shoes. The good part was my feet never fell asleep.

I am the coffee, and God is The Barista. Through me, he may awaken your soul. But the coffee knows not what flows through the mind of The Barista.

I drank the coffee because I was tired. I also drank the coffee because I was dominant, and it was passive and put up no fight.

The best way to wake up is with coffee and an erection. The cool part is one can stir the other.

I’m probably the best love you’ve never had. And why is that? Oh yeah, because I’m in a relationship with a tall cup of coffee.

Air conditioning is indoor winter. Coffee is liquid wakefulness. And my love is like For Sale, only it’s not on sale. I’m afraid there is no discount.

Too much coffee has been spilled in the name of war. Let us love and savor every drop.

Make time to make love. Then, after you’ve finished making love, make some coffee while I just lie in bed and quiver.

I travel by foot. It’s like a wheelchair in a microwave it’s so easy to camel. I sleep on a pillow made of coffee, and I’d ask you to turn out the light when you’re...

Taking away coffee from Americans is like taking away oil from the motors.

It’s early on a beautiful winter morning. The house is quiet. The sun is shining. I’m thankful. I’m happy. My cup runneth over. Now there’s coffee everywhere.

Day offers two equally necessary sacraments – the benediction of morning and the absolution of dusk. In the morning coffee blesses and in the evening wine absolves.

Sometimes, they just make coffee cups too small.

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.

Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.

You know I’m a coffee-lover. Having coffee it’s a kind of daily ritual that is done with my friends, my family and more often – with myself, when I’m alone at home with books and...

Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.

Presently the small of coffee began to fill the room. This was morning’s hallowed moment. In such a fragrance the perversity of the world is forgotten, and the soul is inspired with faith in the...

Where do you get inspiration for your books?I tell myself I can’t have another cup of coffee till I thought of an idea.

I told the waitress I wanted some coffee. She asked if I wanted leaded of unleaded, so I had to leave the restaurant, because I quit drinking gasoline years ago.

But back to the coffee. I was here on a mission. I just spent nearly five bucks I didn’t have for some coffee concoction that tasted like the charred remains of Hitler’s soul, and I...

I chug coffee—for fun and for love.

Love is a lot like coffee in that I can never seem to get enough of it, and hers is hot and mine is iced.

In a blind taste test, nine out of ten Helen Kellers preferred Blue Ribbon Coffee to Starbucks. The tenth Helen Keller, well, she claimed she didn’t hear the question.

Probably millions of Americans got up this morning with a cup of coffee, a cigarette and a donut. No wonder they are sick and fouled up.

Enjoying a cup of coffee and a good book, is there anything better? Only if literature were liquid and drinkable.

Word of mouth is often louder than word of hand, although applause can be deafening. I clap like Helen Keller drank coffee—with two spoonfuls of silence.

It only gives as much steam as it gives, man!”Wonderful.

I cleaned the shit off my pink high-tops and drove home, stopping for an espresso at the coffeehouse across from the college. Men and women were hunched over copies of Jean Paul Sartre and writing...

Asking me to do ANYTHING before I’ve had my first cup of coffee should be an episode on 1000 Ways to DIE.

Free yourself from the slavery of tea and coffee and other slopkettles

The findings are of modest changes in certain cardiovascular disease risk factors. This should not do anything to coffee-consumption patterns, … An explanation is lacking. There is a need for validation and better understanding of...

I like my coffee with cream and my literature with optimism.

I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee.

Let me wake up next to you, have coffee in the morning and wander through the city with your hand in mine, and I’ll be happy for the rest of my fucked up little life.

I drink sleep, but not like I drink coffee. I chug one and sip the other.

My coffee gets increasingly better the more I drink and the closer I come to the bottom of the cup, where all the sugar is. I wonder if life is the same way as we...

My favorite salad dressing is vodka. And my favorite ice cream flavor is coffee, though I prefer it melted and hot enough to burn flesh.

I stood under the umbrella for hours before I folded it up and started walking. Umbrellas can block the sun, shield the rain, and if you flip an open one over, it can also be...

Midgets smell like small, and I’m in the mood for a medium, like a large coffee from Starbucks.

Coffee and Saturday go together like me and Suzy McKloozy went to prom together. We didn’t, and they don’t.

I tried to wear my shirt while it was still on the hanger. That’s just the kind of morning person I am with no coffee.

I’m not the same person I was when I wasn’t. I’m different now, in that now I’m drinking coffee.

Coffee, unless it is very good and made by somebody else, is pretty intolerable at any time.

It rather goes without saying that Katherine drank her coffee black. Katherines do, generally. They like their coffee like they like their ex-boyfriends: bitter.