I’ve had the paperwork sitting on my desk for the past nine months, waiting to be filled out and sent in. I feel like I’ve given birth to procrastination.

If I were a paper pusher for a living, I’d be pissed if my coworkers moved my desk into the wind tunnel. So to repay them, I’d probably relocate all the urinals to inside the...

Reading isn’t an occupation we encourage among police officers. We try to keep the paperwork down to a minimum.

Adoption is the most intentional process on Earth.

Dating a wo/man with a child is adoption … without the paperwork.

Vesta was so good with paperwork – you could hand her a file of drab, seemingly dull information and she’d construct a story from it worthy of a novel.

No job is complete until the selfie is posted.

Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.

I decided not to charge you with murder, because that would require me filling out lots of paperwork. So you’re free to go.

Management cares about only one thing. Paperwork. They will forgive almost anything else – cost overruns, gross incompetence, criminal indictments – as long as the paperwork’s filled out properly. And in on time.