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Clones  Quotes
Sometimes he’d dream of hunting for Adam the Usurper twenty years in the future, or of Doctor Simmons sending Aero to burrow into his head and steal his most secret thoughts and desires.

—Alesha Escobar

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ClonesMasters-Of-TimeScience-Fiction
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I’m a competitor, and I welcome competition. My ideal matchup would be the best versus the best, or more concretely, me versus my clone. I don’t know if he’d beat me or if I’d beat...

—Jarod Kintz

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BestClonesCloning
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If you had a clone, and you weren’t wearing perfume and your clone was, I’d automatically think your clone was more attractive.

—Jarod Kintz

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AttractiveBeautyClones
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It must be awful to be on a team with a superstar, someone much better than everyone else. At least that’s how my teammates must feel about me. But who cares? They’re just my clones.

—Jarod Kintz

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AwfulBetterClone
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Shakespeare asked what’s in a name. Well, each of my clones won’t be named the same as me, but they’ll be me and just as sweet.

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesHumorIdentity
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I’d like to let another person reveal my personality, and I’d like this person to be my clone. My clone would see me from the inside, as well as the outside.

—Jarod Kintz

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CloneClonesHumor
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Making money for my clones, now that’s what I call self-enrichment. Having all my clones working for me, working for free, and enriching me, now that’s what I call social progress. Ah, but that’s life,...

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesHumorMoney
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I want to win an award that doesn’t exist yet. Well, I want my clone to win it, and that’s almost the same thing—and he also doesn’t exist yet, so it’s perfect.

—Jarod Kintz

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AwardAwardsClone
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I like a man who pauses to reflect, while pausing in the mirror to reflect. I can imagine that such a man would look exactly like my clone.

—Jarod Kintz

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CloneClonesHumor
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I saw myself in a piece of glass that wasn’t a mirror. Was that my doppelganger or my clone? Who was that? Who am I? Maybe if I hadn’t been acting like a reverse Peeping...

—Jarod Kintz

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CloneClonesDoppelganger
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To enslave an individual troubles your consciences, Archivist, but to enslave a clone is no more troubling than owning the latest six-wheeler ford, ethically. Because you cannot discern our differences, you assume we have none....

—David Mitchell

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ClonesDystopiaScience-Fiction
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I’m going on vacation, and I’m leaving my clone in charge. I’ll be gone, but I’ll be here.

—Jarod Kintz

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AuthorityCloneClones
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I am different, just like everyone else. And as such, I celebrate by being the same. The world won’t see a truly unique person until the first human clone arrives.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdClonesDifferent
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If you expect others to think for you, then you expect others to live your life for you. And I’m sorry, but the only person I’ll let live my life for me is my clone....

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesExpectationsThink
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Ninety minutes of pure naughty (limit 30 minutes per customer). *No clones or triplets allowed!

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesHumorNaughty
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My clones just honored me with the 2012 Man of the Year Award. But I wasn’t fooled—I knew they were really honoring themselves.

—Jarod Kintz

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AwardClonesHonor
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My clones will look like me, and therefore I’ll treat them like myself—starting with spending all their hard-earned money. You can’t love someone else if you can’t first love yourself.

—Jarod Kintz

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CloneClonesHumor
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There’s someone for everyone. And when my clones get here, everyone will be able to have that someone. Prices start at $99.

—Jarod Kintz

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CloneClonesCloning
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I’d collaborate with my clones, because I’m a team player who wants all the credit.

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesCollaborationCredit
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I don’t trust you.” I’ll tell you, it’s like looking in a mirror when you make eye contact with your clone.

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesEye-ContactHumor
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Escape is very difficult to negotiate, underwater.

—

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BiotechnologyClonesEscape
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The only questions I’ll ask my clone, are ones in which I already know the answer. This is the path to self-discovery.

—Jarod Kintz

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AnswersClonesHumor
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Don’t be jealous if I spend 50% of my time with you, and 50% of my time with others, because you get 100% of 50%, while all the others have to share that other 50%.”...

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesJealousJealousy
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Why do we need so many people on Earth? I ask you. What are they good for? They live out ludicrous lives of pointless desperation. Ninety-nine percent of the human population is so much wasted...

—David Marusek

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AisClonesCorporations
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Clone One’s last name will be Martz. Clone Two I’ll call Martinez.

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesHumorRandom
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The coolest way to be cool is to be yourself, because nobody can be you but you. Well, aside from your clone.

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesCoolHumor
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Love means more to me than you’ll ever know. Well, unless the person reading this is my clone. But then my question is: what are you doing reading? Get back to work, slave, and make...

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesHumorLove
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Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself, with myself in this case being himself?

—Jarod Kintz

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AdviseCloneClones
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It’s not really masturbating if you’re jacking your clone off. It’s more like politics.

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesPolitics
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If I own a business, I work for myself. And if I have no revenue, I work for free. That’s not slavery. That’ll be the case when I employ 1,000,000,000 clones of myself. I won’t...

—Jarod Kintz

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BusinessClonesSlavery
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The thing that has impacted life on earth the most is life on mars. That’s where the government is storing all my clones.

—Jarod Kintz

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AliensClonesEarth
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I’m older than myself. At least I will be, once my clone gets here.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdAgeBizarre
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I want to meet a woman named Sherry who only drinks brandy, and a woman named Brandy who only drinks sherry. Then I’ll offer each one of them one magical night of sex with me,...

—Jarod Kintz

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AlcoholBrandyClones
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Only strong women, and they seem to be rare, can handle a frank and direct woman who doesn’t sweet-talk or need others to nerve her. You can identify the easily intimidated because they need a...

—Donna Lynn

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AloneCandorClones
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You can’t be the best all the time. But that’s what clones are for—to be you while you sleep.

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesSleep
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The worst part about clones is you could be both innocent and guilty at the same time. I didn’t do it—but I did, in the form of my clone.

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesGuiltHumor
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If my clone were standing next to me, I’d be beside myself with joy. I’d also be literally beside myself. In that case, I’ll bet you’d love me twice as much, huh?

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdCloneClones
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My face and body are not my essence. My actions, ideas, and ideals are the stuff of me. My clone will have my face and body, but he won’t be me.

—Jarod Kintz

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ActionsBodyClone
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I am two lucky guys.

—Jarod Kintz

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CloneClonesHumor
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When there is extra to be eaten, I’ll be there, and I’ll be hungry. When there is more love than people to absorb it all, I’ll be there, and I’ll invite my clones.

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesFoodHumor
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At my last birthday party I had fun and really let myself go. Literally. I opened the cages where I keep my clones and I let myself go, all 333 versions of myself.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdAbsurdityBirthday
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Agatha had so much love she could fill a room. A room filled with strange men, which she often did. I don’t care if every single man in that room looked exactly like me, they...

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesFunnyLove
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We’re going to go in the back room as two singles, copulate back there, and come out a couple. Somebody go tell my clone where I am so he doesn’t go file a missing person’s...

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesCopulateHumor
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Elms are dying all over the place, it’s Dutch elm disease. […] It came from America on a load of logs, and it’s a fungal disease. That makes it sound even more as if it...

—Jo Walton

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AnalogyArbologyBotany
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I want to find myself as a person, and I’ve enlisted the help of my clone to aid me in this. It’s like finding Waldo, except I’m only half wearing the red and white sweater,...

—Jarod Kintz

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CloneClonesHumor
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When I need to be in two places at once, make two decisions at once, that’s what clones are for.

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesDecisionsHumor
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It’s not you, it’s me.” This line could signify rejection, or it could be something I say in the future, when I’m talking to one of my clones about another one of my clones.

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesFutureHumor
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Having a clone to bounce ideas off of would be a way to generate more ideas. Another way would be to build an idea generator that plugs into a wall socket and works only when...

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesHumorIdeas
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A lifestyle of deception is hard to keep up if your clones aren’t willing to participate.

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesDeceptionHumor
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The older I get, the more I’ve got going for me. Each yesterday is a new me I’ve got working for my collective experience, like an army of clones.

—Jarod Kintz

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ClonesCloningExperience
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