Today I am amused, and I haven’t seen anyone yet.

As it ‘appens, I am Arthur’s right-hand man,” said Suzy. “Or left-hand girl, I can’t remember where I stood last time. Anyhow, me and Arthur is like two fingers of a gauntlet. Or at least...

A stick won’t stick to a wall, so why is it called a stick? Likewise, why aren’t love and ghost the same word? Both are dead and invisible.

I saw how greatly he suffered the requirement of being clever. It separated him from his soul, and it didn’t get him anything other than a living.

Oh,clever… what’s the use of that? Are they human beings?

Victoria is a clever satirist, … She understands the awfulness that’s at the heart of a lot of modern culture.

This is a very clever move, and probably more a public relations move than anything else.

Night descended on Roarhaven like a woolly blanket of blackness with holes in it that were the stars.

This woman is beautiful and clever: but how much cleverer she would have become if she were not beautiful!

I thought I was clever by greeting casting agents in my Australian accent and then switching to an American one during the performance. But the Australian accent seemed to put them off. Now it’s the...

If the pen is mightier than the sword, a sharpie must be plain deadly!

as something good as man”.

Never take advice about never taking advice. That is an old vice of men – to dish it out without being able to take it – the blind leading the blind into more blindness.

I can’t tell you how may beautiful women have broken up with me because they were bored. I can’t tell you because it never happened. They all adored me.” “It was your humility, wasn’t it?

What the hell makes you smart?” I asked.”I wouldn’t go for coffee with you.””Listen – I wouldn’t ask you.””That,” she replied, “is what makes you stupid.

One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke.

Look at me. I am insecure. I need your reaction to what I am doing, but you’re not cool enough to be my friend. Therefore, I will just pray you see this because the approval...

My wit is only as stupid as the audience.

His name is Arnold. But you’re not on a first name basis with him, and that’s not his first name. So that’s Mr. Arnold to you. Once you get to know him, he may let...

Certain people, people who are certain, are always wrong—and that itself is certainly wrong because it’s always always.

Justice fails because victims used to be too kind and criminals too clever.

Very true,” she said as she eased back into the cushions.With a soft click of his teeth, Al’s mouth shut. His eyes were cross, and he seemed peeved that I’d found a way to satisfy...

Wish I could say it was a deviously clever move, but the truth is I’ve got grace management issues.

Better to be able to love than to be loveable.

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household.

Skul-man!’ he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. ‘Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun by evil trans-dimensional superfiends!’ Skulduggery nodded. ‘Just got back.

Who is this guy taking care of my oral hygiene?

Love is a kind of warfare.

To ugly ducklings everywhere,Don’t worry about those fluffy yellow morons:They’ll never get to be swans

Pious” is a sword that the clever always use it to eliminate the truth.

I enjoy poetry where I can talk as bizarre as I please, but theology or philosophy, I always respect the truth by taking it a step further.

What are we going to do when we get into the temple, anyway? Are we going to fight our way through the Necromancers on our own?””No, we’re going to find a way to let our...

Women, if I understood them half as well as I understand fractions, I’d have said a third. But I don’t have time for a third, or even my other half, because I spend all my...

Inventions are not solely the making of material things, inventions are also the mental unleashing of ideas by a genuis with a sixth sense.

What I stand for is what I stand on.

Never judge any person by his answers or questions but by his nature of character solely.

What good is it if they miss your face but not your mind?

I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy.

Lord Birkenhead is very clever but sometimes his brains go to his head.

If you’re so keen on me being healthy then you should have no problem accepting me for the way I am. That’s what’s healthy, Mom. Not being focused on all this freaky weight-loss stuff.

I hope your only rocky road is chocolate.

My gran always said I was half clever, half stupid, and half crazy.

They’re not going to arrest you,’ Skulduggery said as they walked through the door. ‘They might glare at you and say angry words, but they won’t arrest you. Well, they might arrest you. There’s a...

To be clever in argument is not rationality but rationalization.

When did you get so clever?””When I realized I wasn’t as clever as I thought.

Even more than the time when she gave birth, a mother feels her greatest joy when she hears others refer to her son as a wise learned one.

Never stop acquiring the commonsense, it is as good as the knowledge.

I won’t be stuck in traffic ’til I see how rugged my path isAnd right now I’m loving how fast my troubles are fastingNo they don’t bother me oh realizing I’m psychopathicA wild beast, baby...

This isn’t the first time I’ve used this, and the test subject showed no signs of impaired cognitive ability.””Who was the test subject?” asked Aurora.”I test everything out on myself before taking it into the...

Your fantasies define you, so dream carefully. A man with no imagination is a man with no future in today’s world—and no past in tomorrow’s.