I hardly broke any laws at all. I should drive more often.

Some guys assume that they made this one girl orgasm by doing this one thing and now they do it to every woman they get with. If it doesn’t work on you, then something about...

Mrs. P.? Oh no. She’s the help. Bosnian, you know. Or is it Serbian? An absolute treasure, anyway. As I always say to Bel, if there’s one good thing to come out of all this...

She was right: school was lonely. The eighteen and nineteen year olds didn’t socialize with the younger kids, and though there were plenty of students my age and younger […] their lives were so cloistered...

I know a woman loves me when she leaves me leftovers in the fridge from the date she went on the night before.

It’s not: I jumped in, and it was cold. No. It was cold, and I jumped in. Always arrange a sentence so you appear to be fearless, when in fact you are far less than...

Back in grade school, my shrinks tried to channel my viciousness into a constructive outlet, so I cut things with scissors. Heavy, cheap fabrics Diane bought by the bolt. I sliced through them with old...

Politics is clueless; I can claim -“I am a politician” only because I am not.

You know what truly aches? Having so much inside you and not having the slightest clue of how to pour it out.