I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I’m grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old’s birthday party, you couldn’t pay me enough.

I’ve got my finger in a lot of pies.

There have been times I’ve finished a big job and thought, ‘Great, a couple of weeks off.’ But then a couple of weeks turns to three weeks and then after a month you’re staring at...

There’s this idea that it has to be made in London. But we’ve got everything up here, and if you’ve got comics who are gifted because of where they’re from, you shouldn’t drag them away...

I still give myself the right to be highly critical of others, though.

If I see somebody visually challenged, I won’t purposefully focus in on them unless they call me names, and then I’ll call them back.

I hate flying, airports and the whole rigmarole – queuing up, security and lost luggage.

Some comics are in it for what they can get out of it. Others are in it for a love of comedy. I think those that are in it for a genuine love of comedy...

This autocue was obviously written for someone else and I’ve been brought in at the last minute.

We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases.

Class still matters in Britain today.

There was always that thing with ‘Johnny’ – I always saw myself as his writer and PR. But when he got out there, I had no control. His whole thing was going off on those...

From a certain age, I sort of accepted myself for what I was. And although to other people it was like nothing ever goes right, I had a really nice attitude that I’d inherited from...

I think if you’re at the point where you’re popular enough to sell your wedding photos to OK! Magazine then you don’t need the money.

The fun is being able to have a show that you can do but then always being able to look out for that opportunity to do something different.

I’ve got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs.

I am very proud of what ‘Johnny’ achieved in stand-up comedy because he believed entirely in giving an audience the best kick he could. But he was someone who was quite detrimental to my health,...

With stand-up you’ve just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.

I thought I could play the hellraiser and then put ‘Johnny Vegas’ back in his box. I found popularity through self-destruction. The more you damage yourself, the more people are drawn to you, and that...

Comedy’s so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn’t get it, doesn’t find it funny, then fine.

Writing a book about yourself is like therapy, and you go ‘Oh My God, that’s the reason that happened.’ Writing about it, you’re forced to really examine things.

I also want to return to doing stand-up. I’ve become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again.

I use very few muscles at the best of times.

It’s lovely being a parent and being in a strong marriage with somebody who is your best friend.

People are always asking, ‘Where does Michael Pennington end and Johnny Vegas begin,’ and you’re going, ‘It’s not like that: it’s blurred right across.’

You always hear people saying, ‘I hope I’m not turning into my dad’, but I’d be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is.

I’ve been offered all the reality TV shows but have turned them down. If I did it as ‘Johnny,’ there’d be no jungle left! It was really hard regaining control of myself, so I am...

For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual leader for people for some reason.

Being ‘Johnny’ was almost like an out of body experience. I thought he was just a character that I’d created and could quite easily step away from, but it was much more difficult than that.

I do need to explore my faith, because it has got lost over the years and it has been kind of tainted through experience. But I also know it’s enriched my life, my dad being...

I’ve spent lots of time in London, I studied in London, I like London. It’s just not my home.

There’s a domino effect with certain things you say.

Had I become a priest, the sermons would’ve been electric!

I struggle as a writer, and I’m convinced that if I was at school now, I’d be termed as having ADS. Two minutes and I’m drifting.

I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show.

I believe that Britain is becoming more class-conscious, and I quake at the very idea of Old Etonians ruling the world again.

Being behind the camera is where I feel comfortable. I’ve found something that I feel I, as ‘Michael,’ can be as confident in as ‘Johnny’ was on the stage. It’s great being part of the...

‘Johnny’ was a coping mechanism who could take those things which could have ordinarily destroyed me, by tweaking my past and throwing it back out there, getting laughs from things that would have otherwise upset...

If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I’d probably spend a lot of money on it.

I found popularity through self-destruction, and that can be quite addictive.

You don’t want to be flattered and become big-headed by getting awards. But, well, I am.

My name is Michael Pennington, and I am not a comic character.

I’ve always been looking for other people’s approval.

I used to attract a lot of feeders. I’d be quite happy to be locked in someone’s flat and fed liquidised burgers.

I love the way my weight fluctuates in the newspapers. It was 18 stone and then people look at a bad picture of me and add a few more stone on. I think the highest...

I came back from university thinking I knew all about politics and racism, not knowing my dad had been one of the youngest-serving Labour councillors in the town and had refused to work in South...

You know, there’s that temptation in interviews to make yourself sound – well, to give yourself a bit of mystery.

If you write, produce and direct, you own things and see them through to the end.

‘Johnny’ was always a lone wolf when he got on stage. Him against the world, whereas suddenly, when I got into acting, people were relying on me.

I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It’s my own paranoia.