I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that’s when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a...

sometimes when everything seems atits worstwhen all conspiresand gnawsand the hours, days, weeksyearsseem wasted – stretched there upon my bedin the darklooking upward at the ceilingi get what many will consider anobnoxious thought:it’s still nice...

He was one of the most supremely stupid men I have ever met. He taught me a great deal.

I am drawn to humorous art that is ironic.

It was the essence of life to disbelieve in death for one’s self, to act as if life would continue forever. And life had to act also as if little issues were big ones. To...

Morale was deteriorating and it was all Yossarian’s fault. The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.

Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes.

Life is ironic. Some people use their terrible childhood as an excuse of their unfortunate rest of the life… while others create a masterpiece out of their terrible childhood, they create a story loved by...

Si vous n’êtes plus capable de faire la différence entre Laura et une image, je vous plains, monsieur Valence. La vie ne doit pas être marrante.

Don’t fucking quote me!

I’m not some character from a boys’ manga.” ~Yukio

And a beautiful world we live in, when it is possible, and when many other such things are possible, and not only possible, but done– done, see you!– under that sky there, every day.

There ain’t no devil, only God when he’s drunk.

He’s always complaining about the fucking recession and how the government is working against people like him. He calls himself working class, which I think is a bit ironic since he doesn’t work.

Hyperbolic statements will be the death of us all

Dream big!But not so big that it becomes a mess, and you may never reach reality.

…it’s just another one of those things I don’t understand: everyone impresses upon you how unique you are, encouraging you to cultivate your individuality while at the same time trying to squish you and everyone...

If anything attacked us, we could just panic at it until it went away.

He calls himself working class, which I think is a bit ironic since he doesn’t work.

And it’s really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first!

He had not the makings of that honest man to whom success comes naturally.

For other people, I can’t speak – but, personally, I haven’t gotten wise on anything. Certainly, I’ve been through this and that; and when it happens again, I say to myself, Here it is again....

Diamond is the hardest substance, but the Irony, it is also brittle.

They thought more before nine a.m. than most people thought all month. I remember once declining cherry pie at dinner, and Rand cocked his head and said, ‘Ahh! Iconoclast. Disdains the easy, symbolic patriotism.’ And...

I always found it so ironic, how the people from the past would do anything to see what happened everywhere else in the world that they lost so much of their own life watching this...

It is odd that the Bible says, ‘God created man,’ whereas it is the other way round: man has created God. It is odd that the Bible says, ‘The body is mortal, the soul is...

A new baby! Why, Scarlett, this is a surprise!” he laughed, leaning down to push the blanket away from Ella Lorena’s small ugly face.” – Rhett Butler

Democracy was supposed to champion freedom of speech, and yet the simple rules of table decorum could clamp down on the rights their forefathers had fought and died for.

I’ve never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn’t it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you’re here?

Interest makes some people blind and others quick-sighted.

Un bon mot ne prouve rien.

I sometimes think it ironic for an ex-seaman, longshoreman, truck driver, policeman, bus driver, etc… to find success writing children’s novels.

I just really don’t like being the center of attention that much. It’s kind of ironic.

You know something is wrong when the government declares opening someone else’s mail is a felony but your internet activity is fair game for data collecting.

I had a dream about you painting the scene of a house fire. The clocks were melting and Salvador Dali was riding around in a clown car muttering something about irony.

Luchesi cannot tell amontillado from a sherry

People who didn’t need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn’t need people.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, but don’t three lefts make a right? Two wrongs don’t make a right, but don’t two negatives make a positive?

Life is about more that quotes about life

The irony of sensory deprivation tanks is that in order to think outside the box, you must first go inside one.

I don’t use big words to show off because it’s ostentatious.

Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.

Fate has a twisted sense of humor.

Cam’s wings were so bright they were almost blinding as they pulsed. “Holy Hell,” Callie whispered, blinking.”More or less,” Arriane said

Never ask an elf for help; they might decide your better off dead, eh?” (Orik) (Eldest) (Page 207)

I’m bad and I’m going to hell, and I don’t care. I’d rather be in hell than anywhere where you are.

We were talking about the prince,’ Sansa said, her voice soft as a kiss.Arya knew which prince she meant: Joffrey, of course. The tall, handsome one. Sansa got to sit with him at the feast....

(About sweeping)….What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends.

The most dangerous irony is, people are angry with others because of their own incompetence.

“He loved her…It was noble of him. It was beautiful.”-“It was stupid.