The pimple is perfect.

I drink coffee like other men paint pictures of naked women. I do it because I love the full body.

Great,” Shane said. “Look i’d rather not be on janitorial duty. I have allergies to cleaners.””And to cleaning,” Michael said.”Look who’s talking, Didn’t the do one of those Animal Planet documentaries about the roaches in...

But thanks to the efforts, the initiative of the United States and of the several countries from the world, from Europe, including Turkey, it ended within a few weeks.

I’ve got a lot of love to give you. And by you I mean your clone.

And I think I’m underappreciated.

I didn’t mean it as a compliment!

I drink trees, and I pee beavers. I know, you must imagine that I’m an exceptional lover. And I am! (I’m imagined, not an exceptional lover).

I answered that I was sure, and he asked me again, and this time I understood his concern. ‘I’m not embarrassed!’ I said, or at least tried to say, before recalling that embarazada means something...

Just this past summer, I took online courses in introductory logic and law through civilization. Often the weight of history, with its facts heaped upon facts requiring complex chains of inference to sort through –...

Adam’s hot Pheebs! Admit it girl. That body is like some kind of happy experiment. It’s like he was manufactured in a nympho scientist’s secret laboratory

And it’s really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first!

It was all Mrs. Bumble. She would do it,” urged Mr. Bumble; first looking round, to ascertain that his partner had left the room.That is no excuse,” returned Mr. Brownlow. “You were present on the...

what’s meant for you will reach you in time, and if you embrace it with your arms wide open it might just stay with you forever and bless you with more happiness than you could...

Is Walt turning over in his grave? A man named Joe Roth runs Disney right now-he gave me the go-ahead and total freedom to do whatever I wanted to do.

It kind of struck me how great it would be to go out with a guy that size. And if you, you know, got tired of dating him, you could always use him as a...

Why had his mother gone to the trouble of bringing him into the world if the most exciting moment in his life was having been made lame by a bayonet?

I don’t always prepare such rich meals. Sometimes I’ll just serve a simple quiche, salad and dessert for dinner. During the week I try to eat lightly.

Stupid Romanian bloodsucker. He was lucky I hadn’t bestowed another exalted scar on his imperial body.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

There’s no way that you’re real,” she murmured to his crotch.

Don’t confuse efforts with results….

Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist.

Endure for another day, Mister Tannen, and you’ll have all the foul black misuse of water you can drink.

Pops added,”you know, they say if you don’t vote, you get the government you deserve.””And if you do, you never get the results you expected,” (Katherine) replied.

The butcher died, and he requested to be cremated. But I don’t want to burn him, because I like my meat medium rare.

You sure are a sweet girl, Scout. I’m half tempted to keep you.””Ummm… Thanks?” Knowing she was a potential Alpha I worried about what “keeping me” might entail. Probably chains. And whips. And maybe a...

I wish my nose would blow me for once.

Hooray! Hooray! The end of the world has been postponed!

No, you clearly weren’t because my name isn’t ‘babe’. I bet you don’t even know my name. So, no, you cannot sit here, Nero.

No such word as can’t. No such word as babagoozle neither!

Corvid looked up at her. “Oh, hello Doris.””Gertie, dear,” she said. “They call me Gertie.””You used to be Doris,” Corvid said as a matter of fact.”Who?” She seemed unsure of what she was being told.”Doris,...

Mr. Vey, you cannot be stuffed into a locker without your consent.” Dallstrom said, which may be the dumbest thing ever said in a school. “You should have resisted. That’s like blaming someone who was...

That’s not even a word,” He complained and fell into a sulky silence from his place on the bed.

Sweetie, this is Hell. We invented paperwork.

Agreed,” I say. “It’s going to be a long hour.””Maybe not that long,” says Peeta.” what was that you were saying just before the food arrived? Something about me … no competition … best thing...

To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.

Remember what?” And that’s precisely my point—you can’t even remember what you can’t remember, and I’m here with a blanket to help. So scoot over and let me lay in your bed with you.

Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.

What I’d like to read is a scientific review, by a scientific psychologist–if any exists–of ‘A Scientific Man and the Bible’. By what route do otherwise sane men come to believe such palpable nonsense? How...

A blanket could be used like a cat, if it were furry and purred.

I used to dress up and impersonate our next-door neighbor, Miss Cox. She wore rubber boots, a wool hat, and her nose always dripped.

IF WE DIE FOR THEM, I’LL KILL YOU, HARRY!

It’s not because I want to make out with her.”Hold on.” He grabbed a pencil and scrawled excitedly at the paper as if he’d just made a mathematical breakthrough and then looked back up at...

I got an ‘A’ in Business Marketing in college!- as if that means a goddamn thing in the real world…

My stand-up act? I combine the fact that the world is a violent place with the fact that each person is responsible for the situation they are in.

He thought it was kind of funny. He said he’s known now. I told him he could probably go to Hollywood now and become a movie star.

A brick could be used to win the love of a beautiful girl. The trick to getting it to work is just trying it again and again until you get the desired results.

That cat doesn’t have a lick of sense,’ I said, sighing.Well, honey, he’s not right in the head,’ Dad said, flipping his cigarette into the front yard.I glared at him. ‘And just what do you...

A brick could be used to wade into dangerous territory with a man named Wade who builds houses made only of wood. But if you’re going to play with fire, I suggest you wear a...