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Bruce Vilanch  Quotes
It’s the biggest party in the world, and you have to keep the whole thing percolating, which is difficult because a lot of awards most people don’t care about.

—Bruce Vilanch

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American ComedianFunny
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What makes me laugh? Richard Nixon always made me laugh.

—Bruce Vilanch

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Eddie Izzard is absolutely brilliant. I would love to write something for him.

—Bruce Vilanch

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Generally with the Oscars or the Emmys there isn’t much you can do until the nominations are announced. Then you know what kind of year you’re dealing with – what’s been overlooked, what the issues...

—Bruce Vilanch

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American ComedianFunny
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I do a lot of screen re-writing.

—Bruce Vilanch

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I mean, I’ve sold all these scripts and nothing’s been made. Studios have closed, stars have died. I had a director find Jesus. And the pictures just don’t get made.

—Bruce Vilanch

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American ComedianFunny
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I mean, when I started out I was billing per hour, like a shrink because you would sit with somebody and work. But most of it, if it’s for a live show it’s usually a...

—Bruce Vilanch

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I write screenplays that don’t get made and pilots that don’t get picked up, and I re-write other people’s movies, and those are all different kinds of fees.

—Bruce Vilanch

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It is something I’m still sticking to. I’m still working out, and I’m still on Zone food. I’m still losing weight.

—Bruce Vilanch

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Food
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I’ve never had to write a spec script.

—Bruce Vilanch

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They want to have a big movie star in that role. I’m sure a lot of other people were considered. He wouldn’t be anybody’s first thought. People forget that he has musical-comedy chops. He comes...

—Bruce Vilanch

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People
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I’ve written about 15 screenplays and they all sold – they were all sold on pitches.

—Bruce Vilanch

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It’s over. Once you see they’ve got a list, people have already stopped listening.

—Bruce Vilanch

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Listening
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Sometimes there are people you can’t make jokes about because the situation is embarrassing, especially if they’re going to be there. It’s just cruel.

—Bruce Vilanch

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It’s really live television, the way God meant it to be.

—Bruce Vilanch

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They make a humongous profit, but the people that work on the shows don’t get paid a lot because they’re working on the Oscars show. It’s the biggest show in the world.

—Bruce Vilanch

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