You’re Dionysus,” I said. “The god of wine.”Mr. D rolled his eyes. “What do they say these days, Grover? Do the children say ‘Well duh!’?”Y-yes, Mr. D.”Then, well, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I...

Hoover Dam,” Thalia said. “It’s huge.”We stood at the river’s edge, looking up at a curve of concrete that loomed between the cliffs. People were walking along the top of the dam. They were so...

Grover started to sniffle and I figured if I didn’t cheer him up he’d either start bawling or chewing up my mattress. He tends to eat household objects whenever he gets upset.

Meat!” he said scornfully. “I’m a vegetarian.”You eat cheese enchiladas and aluminum cans,” I reminded him.Those are vegetables.

Grover and Nico came back from their walk, and Grover helped me fix up my wounded arm.”It’s green!” Nico said with delight.

When I got across, I looked back and saw Tyson giving Grover a piggyback ride (or was it a goatyback ride?).

But I’ve never even been to Olympus! Zeus is crazy!”Chiron and Grover glanced nervously at the sky. The clouds didn’t seem to be parting around us, as Grover had promised. They were rolling straight over...

You’re a stalker with hooves.””I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing.

Grover Underwood of the satyrs!” Dionysus called.Grover came forward nervously.”Oh, stop chewing your shirt,” Dionysus chided. “Honestly, I’m not going to blast you. For your bravery and sacrifice, blah, blah, blah, and since we have...

Grover wore his fake feet and his pants to pass as human. He wore a green rasta-style cap, because when it rained his curly hair flattened and you could just see the tips of his...

Percy,” Grover said, “the gods really don’t appreciate people sitting in their thrones. I mean like turn-you-into-a-pile-of-ashes don’t appreciate it.

Grover: It’s a very sweet love story. I get misty-eyed every time I play it. So does Percy, but I think that’s because he’s laughing at me.

He gave me the brochure. It was about the Hunters of Artemis. The front read, A WISE CHOICE FOR YOUR FUTURE! Inside were pictures of young maidens doing hunter stuff, chasing monsters, shooting bows. There...

Piper: it looks like we have hole. Percy: Yeah we’ve got a dam hole! (LOL-ing) Piper: What! Percy: Inside joke. (still LOL-ing) Piper: Whatever.

Even Zeus doesn’t know.

Hey, can I see that sword you were using?”I showed him Riptide, and explained how it turned from a pen into a sword just by uncapping it.”Cool! Does it ever run out of ink?””Um, well,...

But how did you know where we were?” Annabeth asked.Advanced planning, my dear. I figured you would wash up near Miami if you made it out of the Sea of Monsters alive. Almost everything strange...

Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it’s right up there with grenades and cannonballs.

He was slumped over, blood trickling from the side of his mouth. I shook his furry hip, thinking, No! Even if you are half barnyard animal, you’re my best friend and I don’t want you...

That’s us,” he said. “Those five nuts right there.””Which one is me?” I asked.”The little deformed one,” Zoe suggested.”Oh, shut up.