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Politicians  Quotes
We contradict all for which we stand for we all stand for the lie the whole lie and nothing but the lie so help save our lying asses.

—Brian Spellman

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Lies-Lying-LiarsLies-PoliticsLying
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Our archaeological ancestry lost hair while growing sweat glands to reduce panting in the hot African sun. One outcome evolved the origin of our speech. Another conquered our ability to shut the hell up and...

—Brian Spellman

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Listening-SkillsPoliticiansTheory-Of-Evolution
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With good morality first candidates you’ll get bad candor, bad ethics, bad loyalty and bad morality – lastly bad odor will surface to save the day if you maintain good optimism like I do.

—Brian Spellman

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MoralistsPhoniesPoliticians
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We chose younger and younger politicians to lead us because they looked good on television and were sharp. But really we should be looking for wisdom, and choosing people who had acquired it; and such...

—Alexander McCall Smith

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Old-AgePoliticiansTelevision
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In the present case it is a little inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible to any public...

—H.L. Mencken

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AmericanCommon-SenseCorruption
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Politicians, it’s like they’re competing to be the most incompetent. Well, guess what? They’re all winners to me. And by winners I mean losers.

—Jarod Kintz

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FunnyHumorIncompetence
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Be the cheeseburger you’ve always dreamed you could be. That’s the advice I’d give to any hamburger running for political office.

—Jarod Kintz

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AdviceCheeseburgerHamburger
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Politicians study hard and work diligently their entire lives to be able to stand in front of a national audience and lie through their teeth.

—Gregor Collins

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Politicians
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Politicians are played by what they say and they don’t do

—Miguel el

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Politicians
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For people have four shadows; four politicians have twenty shadows or hundred or more! One person with many fake faces!

—Mehmet Murat

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Politicians
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Here is an old tradition badly in need of return: You have to earn your way into politics. You should go have a life, build a string of accomplishments, then enter public service….

—Peggy Noonan

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Politicians
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You’ll have a good, secure life when being alive means more to you than security, love more than money, your freedom more than public or partisan opinion, when the mood of Beethoven’s or Bach’s music...

—Wilhelm Reich

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BachBeethovenDiplomats
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Political debate: when charlatans come together to discuss their principles.

—Bauvard

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FunnyHumorPoliticians
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We’re both the non-politicians. We both have been running on the reform platform.

—Alan Uke

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The greater ignorance towards a country is not ignoring what its politicians have to say, it is ignoring what the inmates in its prisons have to say.

—Criss Jami

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Being-HeardCompassionCountries
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Why would the US try to win a war? War is an assembly line of death that is highly profitable for politicians and weapons manufacturers. An ongoing war is a conveyer belt of cash. Once...

—Jarod Kintz

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CashConspiracyPoliticians
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We created a new democratic Croatia, … The HDZ is the strongest party in Croatia, and it achieved this not because of us politicians but because of you, the people of Croatia.

—Franjo Tudjman

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Politicians
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Silly,’ he said with mock serenity, ‘isn’t a word you should ever apply to people. They may be totally stupid, in fact, but if you call them silly you’ve lost their vote.

—Dick Francis

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PoliticiansSillinessStupidity
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Our politicians always show lame excuse to defend their cripple decisions.

—Munia Khan

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AlwaysCrippledDecision
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Power is okay, and stupidity is usually harmless. Power and stupidity together are dangerous”.

—Patrick Rothfuss

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PoliticiansPower
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The job of the politician is to speak for all people; not just for parties with vested interests, or organisations with the biggest wallets. The first people a politician should protect are those that cannot...

—Paul Howsley

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EqualityPoliticiansPoverty
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You can’t put money meant for the right course of action in the hands of criminals, rogues and thieves and expect to see positive changes or results.

—Bamigboye Olurotimi

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African-Development-BankAfrican-LeadersBill-Gate
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There are many forms of tyrants, but there are none so terrible as those stifling their own people in the name of freedom.

—E.A. Bucchianeri

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CatholicCatholic-AuthorChristian
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I believe in true love. But my opinion is tainted, because I also believe in Bigfoot, aliens, and in the existence of honest politicians.

—Jarod Kintz

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AliensBigfootHonesty
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It’s not true I think all politicians are morons. Morons are far too intelligent to be politicians.

—Jarod Kintz

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IntelligenceMoronPoliticians
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I miss the smell of clown in the morning. I need to be a volunteer on another political campaign.

—Jarod Kintz

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ClownsHumorPoliticians
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Ancient politicians talked incessantly about morality and virtue; our politicians talk only about business and money. One will tell you that in a particular country a man is worth the sum he could be sold...

—Jean-Jacques Rousseau

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CourageMoneyPoliticians
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We must not tolerate politicians who infringe upon our right to defend ourselves from thieves and stalkers and rapists and murderers. And we must not tolerate the politician who simply says: ‘Pass another gun control...

—Larry Craig

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Politicians
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Clinton and his cigar was so much greater a man than Bush and his rifle.

—Sebastian Barry

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Politicians
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Eso es política, y la política es estúpida. Ante un problema, una conducta racional sería tratar de solucionarlo, pero la solución política siempre será negar su existencia.

—Yeyo Balbás

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EspañolPolíticaPoliticians
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Politicians and children have two speeds: running and asleep.

—Ariel Lawhon

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HumorousPoliticians
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The main problem in any democracy is that crowd-pleasers are generally brainless swine who can go out on a stage & whup their supporters into an orgiastic frenzy—then go back to the office & sell...

—Hunter S.

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DemocracyPoliticians
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A job is like a politician struggling in the water. Be sure you hold it down.

—Jarod Kintz

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DeathDrownDrowning
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Private schools prop up the class system in society. It is inconsistent, to put it mildly, for someone who believes in a fairer and more egalitarian society to send their child to a fee-paying school....

—Diane Abbott

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PoliticiansPrivate SchoolsReputation
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As Katherine always says, if the politicians won’t do anything, we’ll just have to become the politicians someday.

—Courtney Otto

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Politicians
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Now, are those engaged in the business of governing any different by nature from those they govern?””Yes. They’re prideful and tend to sexual misconduct. Also, the situation of being in government tends to drive you...

—Nick Harkaway

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CompassionCorruptionGovernment
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On the Night of the Halloween, I have never seen any evil apparition or fearsome ghost but politicians on TV! They are the real goblins and specters!

—Mehmet Murat

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Politicians
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Fukui is smoothing the way to end its deflation-fighting policy by making those comments. Having that clear goal, he is persuading politicians and the market.

—Tomoko Fujii

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Politicians
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For way too long, the politicians and the people in power have gotten away with not doing anything to fight the climate crisis, but we will make sure that they will not get away with...

—Greta Thunberg

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Climate-ChangeClimate-CrisisEnvironment
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

—Ambrose Bierce

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DefinitionsPoliticians
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Maybe someone out there knows a politician or someone that I can sit down and talk to them about this.

—Chris Cagle

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Politicians
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Politically, Republicans and Democrats are at opposite ends. One’s a burp and the other’s a fart.

—Jarod Kintz

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CorruptCorruptionDemocrats
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I once saw a snake having sex with a vulture, and I thought, It’s just business as usual in Washington DC.

—Jarod Kintz

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BusinessCorruptionFilth
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Joe is 3/4ths of a joke. 75% of politicians are jokes too, only the punchlines are the voters, and that kind of humor I just don’t find funny.

—Jarod Kintz

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HumorJoeJoke
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Though my stomach is only the size of a pea, I could eat two politicians’ brains.

—Jarod Kintz

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BrainsEatEating
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Politicians are the sole cause of our incurable social eczema

—Munia Khan

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CauseDiseaseEczema
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I made up three lists: Candidate’s Accomplishments (real and imaginary), Accusations Against Opponent (including rumours, allegations, innuendos, and lies), and Empty Promises (the more improbable, the better). Then it was merely a matter of taking...

—Rohinton Mistry

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HypocrisyPolitical-SpeechesPoliticians
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The only politician ever to have entered parliament with honourable intentions, was Guy Fawkes.

—Terry Deary

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HistoryPoliticians
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Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I’ll be damned if Rick Perry didn’t take me up on that.

—Bill Maher

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Bill-MaherDrug-UseHumor
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It used to be there were some fights we couldn’t even get into because there wasn’t enough time to set up a snail-mail campaign. In today’s world, the politicians can’t hide behind time any more....

—Craig Fields

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Politicians
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