A blanket could be used as a spy, because if you need to blend in and go under cover, what’s better than a banket?

Tis but a scratch”A scratch?! Your arm’s off!”No, it isn’t.

Mormon,” he whispers.

I can’t dance, remember?” I whispered.”It’s just a tango. It is like sex, except with clothes on.” Then, squeezing me closer: “Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot, you do not know how to do that either.

A blanket could be used to smother a fire—but not the fire that burns in my heart for you. Or perhaps that’s merely heartburn, and you’re just as common as a brick.

I slowly climbed the porch steps while wondering, what exactly did Elias know about my life in London; what precisely was wrong with his mind…And what was the heaviest item in my bag.

A football could be swapped out for a brick, to make family reunion football games more fun. But I’m calling it right now: I get to be quarterback.

Was it just her, or did lovers look more adoringly at each other in this city? Especially in the springtime.’Die, bastards.’She sighed. It wasn’t their fault that they were bastards who should die.

I put out the Greg Call, which sounds like a whistle-quack, and a few dozen Toms responded. The only time I need a Tom is tomorrow.

Men were good for one thing only. Killing spiders. Other than that, I was on my own. It was sad though. Where was the chivalry of yesteryear?

Bricks could be used to pad the pockets of crooked politicians. Why stuff their greedy pockets with cash, when we could load them up with bricks and find out how good of swimmers they are?

Graham Chapman, co-author of the “Parrot Sketch”, is no more. He has ceased to be. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. He’s kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed...

A blanket could be used to suffocate our secret desires. And what do I secretly desire? I desire suffocation, and that is why I must suffocate my desire.

Want a little cheese with that whine, maestro?

Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn’t enough. You also have to move the chair.

Never dance in a puddle when there’s a hole in your shoe (it’s always best to take your shoes off first).

When I look back on the stuff I used to wear, I wonder why somebody didn’t try to stop me. Just a friendly warning, “You may regret this,” would have been fine.

And you’d think that killing people would make them like you, but it doesn’t. It just- it just makes them dead.

A brick could be used to ascertain the truth. And then logically, a non-brick could be used to detect the lie. What kind of things are non-bricks? Well, anything from blankets to lies. So therefore,...

You tell your brother he’s gonna pay for that car in silver.

A blanket could be used to warn your enemy that you are coming—and that you are warm. Where’s the cold war when you need it?

The art of sensuality encompassing the exploration and experiencing of all our senses… Those images are being born from and through living the moments of eating favorite chocolate cake with ice-cream, tranquil meditating, walking the...

A brick could be inserted in your chest in place of your heart. And for just a couple thousand dollars more, an artificial heart could replace the brick.

I simply regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world created therein has different rules than my regular human world.

A brick could be used as a fashion accessory. Or an accessory to murder. I believe the phrase is, “If looks could kill.

Then, almost as an afterthought, she turned and locked the bathroom door. If he thought he was going to seduce her, make her stupid enough to believe his lies by getting her into bed, he’d...

Excuse me for a moment, will ye. I think I have to talk to the river,’ he said unsteadily and flopped over the side-rail.

Or maybe I, like, cuddle raped him or something.

I think I look great in green, and I’m going to start wearing more green.

Yo Mama’s so fat, her ass has its own congressman!

How come I have too many things to do all the time…??

You’re asking the cyborg fugitive and the wild animal to be the welcoming committee? That’s adorable.

My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush’s reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I’ve tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in...

His only real financial failure came at the age of thirteen when, in an uncharacteristic error of judgement, he invested £200,000 of his own savings in wooden socks, an invention that never caught on as...

They say there are twelve steps to quitting something. But what if that something is playing with a slinky? Seems like you should be able to quit playing with a slinky using no steps.

I can remember when I was a baby and my mother was there watching the show. I went and bought 100 episodes and watched them. I respect it so much that the sitcom itself and...

I told her I’d wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who’d give me a ride home.

You,” he purred, “are a HILF.””A what?””A Horseman I’d like to fuck.

Stairs, are they going up or are they going down? They’re so confusing! If love were a physical thing, it would be stairs.

Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better.

Love has a certain weightlessness to it, much as my meaty penis would on the moon.

To be clear, I don’t care.

The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I’ve discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, “I want to love, I want to live…

Bazıları için aşkın tanımı buydu. Derslerde en arkaya otururlar. Yaz günü 40 derece sıcakta giydikleri blazer ceketleri ve ucuz popülerliğin son moda pop şarkılarını bangırdattıkları, sanayiden 100 Lira’ya temin edilmiş çakma ses sistemleriyle donatılmış, viteslerine...

From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.

Goodness, I didn’t expect you to be quite this enthusiastic about my advances. If I don’t play hard to get, how will I ever know whether or not you respect me?

How are we going to get out of here?””Oh, escape is easy once you have the right plan.””Do we have the right plan?””Not yet.””Do we have any plan?””Not yet.

Halt regarded him. He loved Horace like a younger brother. Even like a second son, after Will. He admired his skill with a sword and his courage in battle. But sometimes, just sometimes, he felt...

Webster’s—the original high definition entertainment.

I didn’t want to spoil the mood. This was probably the longest Daemon and I had ever spoken without some statement earning him the finger.