International awareness of his deceptive practices is the reflection of the frustration that is prevailing in Sri Lanka which the President is trying to undermine by the traditional emotive and hate mongering politics.

A nose is ordinarily naked. A nose isn’t nipple, although there are similarities.

Harry,” Bob drawled, his eye lights flickering smugly, “what you know about women, I could juggle.

My advice: Give it to whoever they are for, before whoever they are gets wherever they are going.

Those who seek the Truth are logically in the dark. Therefore, if I aspire to be anything in the world, it’s to be a lighthouse. And you, my midget sidekick, you can be my flashlight.

Whoa, don’t assume, dude,” Marco said. “My mom always said, when you assume you make an ass of u and me–

It’s like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

Next to her, I felt like Carrot Top in drag.Cat re: Annette

I had a dream about you. The lettuce in my sandwich was crunchier than your conversation, and all I could hear when you spoke was myself chewing. You made such a tasty conversation that I...

I had to hand it to him, leaving the empty glove lying on the bed was an apt metaphor for love. Two things I can say about my grandpa are that he is wise, and...

To alcohol! The cause of… and solution to… all of life’s problems

Sorry to interrupt, guys, but what’s an information system?”Still, your mind will drift further, envisioning how much more tolerable this call would be if you could just slowly masturbate during it. So you do. You...

You can’t wish for more wishes or for vague generalities like happiness that are impossible to grant. Your wish has to be something specific enough that I can use my wand to make it happen....

My friend had a few kittens she was trying to find a home for, but she was having no luck. They were super cute, so I decided to poison their water supply. A few days...

The Sunshine State.

So, what you’re basically telling me is death is boring but no worse than hanging out with family.

All we can hope for is that he will fall into the ocean with a bar of soap in his pocket.

If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your...

I am the alligator of love. But I’d make better boots than a lover.

Art is anything you can get away with.

A photographer is like a cod, which produces a million eggs in order that one may reach maturity.

Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.

When you’re writing what you love, it’s the most fun you can have with your clothing still on, unless of course, you write naked.

A VIP area is nothing without not-so-important people.

you’re not dead-you’re dormant.

A brick could be used to change the channel on a TV. Or at least turn it off—permanently.

This may be impossible for you to believe,” Colt said in a hushed voice, “but as recently as last year, I was a hyper, naive-albeit extremely good-looking-minor myself.””And now you’re a persistent, outdoorsy, unshaven man-boy...

My stomach’s upset. I must have accidentally said something to insult it.

You gonna count ’em out now? Because I’ll save you the trouble. There’s two.

We all make mistakes. Some just manufacture them in a factory and sell them to the public.

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Look!” Mr. Poe said, who was still too far to help but close enough to see. “Genghis has an eye tattoo, like Count Olaf! In fact, I think he IS Count Olaf!””Of course he is!”...

What’s that?””That’s my attack poodle.

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.

I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a moral person, but I’m definitely not religious, and I’m very tired of the preachiness and obsession with...

A blanket could be used to teach geography to a sleeping man. Better do it quick, before he wakes up and finds himself in the middle of World War III with no idea where he...

No really I’m pretty sure voting mattered a scant 15 years ago but now it’s just a way to see how many old people live in your neighborhood.

Well, in that case, your magic isn’t working. I’m still an asshole.

Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn’t think it polite to listen, sir.

I never was so immensely tickled by anything I had ever said before. I actually woke up twice during the night, and laughed till the bed shook.

A brick could be used to help you write the book you’ve always wanted to write. That is, if you wanted to write a book on masonry with a target market of two—your parents.

Why do you haunt me? You, like a tattoo on my tongue, like the bay leaf at the bottom of every pan. You who sprawled out beside me and sang my horoscope to a Schubert...

I’m looking for a man” Bree started.”Aren’t we all, dear? All I got’s bread and doughnuts, but they’re the next best thing””I don’t know about that .. well maybe doughnuts. I’ve lost my .. friend....

Hey, would you look at that shit?”I turned on my heel. The patrons who’d fled at the first hint of trouble had come back and were enjoying the spectacle.”Clear out!” I barked.They paid me no...

Notwithstanding all that has been discovered since Newton’s time, his saying that we are little children picking up pretty pebbles on the beach while the whole ocean lies before us unexplored remains substantially as true...

If a woman named Ms. Silver won a gold medal, she’d probably be a little disappointed she didn’t place second. My love always finishes first, while my love always comes second.

Looking back, retrospectively on the events of that evening, I can see the irony — the shrink whose cat ate his own tail. At the time of the incident, however, humor was not in my...

My bookcase is all yours.”I walked to the door. “I’ve just decided that those are my favorite five words in the world.

The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.

It is possible to be in two dreams at once. If I dream about you, and you are asleep at the time, you are in both your dreams, and mine. Still, you’re not really in...