Rose pictured him standing at the boundary of the Ogletree house in that enormous fur cape, with a giant sword sticking over his shoulder, roaring at the top of his lungs and then being upset...

She surveyed the carnage behind him. “Did you have fun?”He showed her his teeth. “Yes.

Well, in that case, your magic isn’t working. I’m still an asshole.

One day, she’d find a way to live her life to the fullest. She was sure of it. She just had no idea how she would manage it.

What do you mean fainted?Took a dive, kissed the pavement. Swooned like a southern belle after her first kiss. Had a dreadful case of the vapors.

Say ‘pop.'” “Pop?” “That was the sound of me pulling your head out of your ass.

The sound of my name in his voice stopped me in midturn. I don’t know how the hell he did it, but whenever he said my name, it cut through all other distractions and made...

The first magic wave kicked the world in the face.

You want to get married? I’ll marry you right now. Is the gnome a preacher, because I’ll do it.””That’s a hell of a proposal.””What did he say?” Astamur asked.”He wants me to marry him.”Astamur relayed...

In my experience, the ex-military guys came in two types. The first grew long hair, sprouted beards, and indulged in all the things they hadn’t been able do while they’d been in the armed forces....

Did I hurt you in the parking lot?””No, m’lady. I fell, so I could put a tracker on your car.”Great.

No, it’s human, Curran said. That’s the problem. People, especially unhappy people, want a cause. They want something to belong to, to be a part of something great and bigger, and to be led. It’s...

The first rule of etiquette a boy learns when he’s about to entersociety is that civility is due to all women. No provocation, nomatter how unjust and rudely delivered, can validate a man who failsto...

I decided.

The Beast Lord walked out of the warehouse. The screen went dark.My knight in furry armor.Saiman opened his mouth. “This is why I didn’t. Personally, I think your smile is inappropriate.

I thought of telling him that if it wasn’t for Oklahoman cowboys and Mexican whores having a bit of fun, there would’ve been no Texans, but that would be counterproductive.

Andrea raised her eyebrows. “Look at you, all high-speed.””Yeah, you’d think I was a detective or something.”Andrea held her hand out. “You’ll jinx it.

That’s the thanks I get for trying to keep you alive, Your Highness.

Your move.”Er. I was sitting atop the Beast Lord in my underwear, holding a knife to his throat. What the hell was my next move?

Why not? It’s natural selection. Just like nature.” I wrinkled my nose. “Boudas love this argument, because it gives them an excuse to do all the wrong things. ‘I’m sorry I screwed your sister and...

I know human nature. We might sacrifice a few, because we are stupid and hardwired for group survival. But we would never die in the thousands because a god wished it. Those kinds of numbers...

I said, I know why you’re afraid to fight with me.””And why is that?” If he flexed again, I’d have to implement emergency measures. Maybe I could kick some sand at him or something. Hard...

They had picked up Julie’s scent hit wolfsbane lost her and found her trail again at the crumbling Highway 23 except it was two hours old and mixed with horse scents. She was hitchhiking. Great....

Do you like my working persona?” Saiman asked softly. “An aesthetically pleasing combination of intelligence and elegance, wouldn’t you say?”Aren’t we pleased with ourselves. “Are you Chinese, Japanese, half-white? I can’t tell, your features are...

The decorator of Las Colimas must have been a great admirer of both early Aztec and late Taco Bell architectural styles.

I have to say, your technique is really different. Curran hammered at the spell until it broke. You just talk. Help me out here, what’s the strategy? Are you hoping the ward will get tired...

How is it different?”He rolled his head back, sable hair falling down on his shoulders. “With Rose I knew what to say. I could take a step back and talk to her. I remembered all...

She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing… “Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.” Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.

Aha. Keep telling yourself that.

Here, have another one.

You know anything about investigative work?””Sure. Annoy the people involved until the guilt party tries to make you go away.

I paused with the pen in my hand. “He burst into flames?””He became engulfed in fire.””Was his buddy made out of orange rocks and at any point yell, ‘It’s clobbering time’?

Obviously I was missing the whole picture. Any minute now he would leap up, wrench the two-inch silver alloy bars apart despite the fact that silver was toxic to shapeshifters, and heroically kick Saiman’s ass....

People around me died, usually in horrible and bloody ways.

So this is what it’s about? This is your mature response to go off into the mountains rather than talking about it and have s’mores with a gnome and a mountain man.””Yep””What’s your plan for...

Of course. Everyone has a talent. Yours is crocheting and mine ismaking melodramatic statements.

I’d missed him so much, it almost hurt. It started the moment I left the Keep and nagged at me all day. Every day I had to fight with myself to keep from making up...

Just stay close to us. If we get in trouble, we’ll kill everything.

Anger – a better alternative to caffeine.

Azdaha were no joke. … Not much is known about this dragon [the aforementioned Gandarw], except that he apparently had yellow heels. I wonder why that was such an important detail. I mean if I...

Your date appears to be hysterical,” Rene told me.”You think I should slap some man into him?

It’s not a loup cage, you know,’ I told her. ‘It’s a holding cell. Or safe room. or secure room. I don’t think Jim ever settled on a term he could live with.”Aha. It’s a...

I know it may come as a shock, but it’s sort of considered polite to wait for the consent of the woman. In fact, I’m pretty sure that if you don’t wait, you may have...

Raphael was a bouda and they viewed sex as a fun recreational activity that should be practiced vigorously and often.

Would you like me to install one of those child playground slides for you?

Everyone brought a pet. I feel left out.” An enthusiastic howl broke the silence, and Grendel bounded through the doorway. He galloped through the steak house, skidded on the floor, smashed into my chair, and...

I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn’t melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena’s chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy.

Were you watching me sleep? Because I thought we agreed that’s creepy.

The rabbis paled. I’d managed to terrify holy men. Maybe I could beat up a nun for an encore.

Shane lowered his glasses on his nose and gave me his version of a severe stare.I leaned a little toward Luther. “Is this the part where I faint in fear?”Luther bit his lip. “He might...