Shoo. Away with you. It’s my fault for expecting the extraordinary from the ordinary.

The only process you’ve mastered is the process of elimination, and the only reason you’ve mastered that is because you can do it in the toilet.

Was my guide a person who would expect what is vulgary called a “tip”? Or was his position so high that even to offer it would be an insult?

Sarcastic and merciless one, you glory in the pain you give!

If you want to add some variety to your sex life, why don’t you just use your other hand?” ~ Gabi

Something else? That’s the nice way of saying they’re bat-shit crazy.

It is a misfortune to be in the presence of a writer, even a failed writer, to be seen by him, be his passing study and remain in his corrupt memory. It is like the...

She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.

He suggested several unpleasant, unsanitary things I could do to myself at my earliest convenience.

I cannot say your worships have delivered the matter well when I find the ass in compound with the major part of your syllables […] our very priests must become mockers if they shall encounter...

Don’t fool yourself, my dear. You’re much worse than a bitch. You’re a saint. Which shows why saints are dangerous and undesirable.

Mtu akikutukana mwambie asante au samahani. Asante au samahani vina nguvu kuliko kuomba (asikutukane) au kutukana.

You may not be able to do anything about how you feel; but you can do something about how you act. People will definitely offend you willing or unwilling by their words and actions…but you...

First you say I am a murderer – an agent in league against you – and now I am a deluded heartsick girl! Pray make up your mind so I can scoff at you with...

Don’t let your teeth make you lose respect by permanently keeping them opened for the sake of being friendly.

The answer of Solon on the question, ‘Which is the most perfect popular govemment,’ has never been exceeded by any man since his time, as containing a maxim of political morality, ‘That,’ says he, ‘where...

O me, you juggler, you canker-blossom, you thief of love!

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.

Except among those whose education has been in the minimalist style, it is understood that hasty moral judgments about people in the past are a form of injustice.

When someone insults me, I simply shut down. Then I open back up at 9 am the next morning.

She may be crazy but at least she isn’t you.

Asking a man if he could be trusted was like asking an unwed girl if she was a virgin. The question mattered, but the asking of it was gross insult.

You don’t talk much, do you, angel-face? I like that in a woman.

I’ve seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.

I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall.

I’ll trade you one dollar for five dollars. What, is my money no good here?

These are the few ways we can practice humility:To speak as little as possible of one’s self.To mind one’s own business.Not to want to manage other people’s affairs.To avoid curiosity.To accept contradictions and correction cheerfully.To...

I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.

Who the hell do you think you’re, Kiddo?I don’t do thinking, Sir. I simply improvise.

If I say you’re a goatherd’s son, you say, ‘Yes, Lord Ralon.'”Alanna gasped with fury. “I’d as soon kiss a pig! Is that what you’ve been doing-kissing pigs? Or being kissed?

Some men simply refuse to appear insulted. But then, having felt the sting from the slap on their cheek, know just where to slip the knife, their smile never fading.

you hit hard … and quite often, below the belt too.

Don’t you touch her,’ threatened Esther, ‘or I’ll claw your face off.’Steven turned away from Abigail and eyed Esther instead. ‘I’d like to see you try.’‘I bet you would,’ snapped Esther, ‘ you’ve got such...

Let me tell you, my girl, that I’m swallowing no more of your insults! And if I hear another word from you in disparagement of the Corinthian set it will be very much the worse...

An indoor man eats nothing, except that which is prepared and served by his mother with lots of insults, an outdoor man eats that which he buys, prepares, served and eaten with lots of respect.

I’m calm,” Rachel insisted. “Every time I’m around you, some monsters attack us. What’s to be nervous about?””Look,” I said. “I’m sorry about the band room. I hope they didn’t kick you our or anything.””Nah....

Out, you tallow-face! You baggage!

Don’t call my lyrics poetry. It’s an insult to real poets.

Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe.

In my view, a Cyclops is halfway to being blind. Love sees all. When someone insults me and I go silent, I’m in Helen Keller mode. Listen!

Come, come,” I said. “You may be a lord someday, but you aren’t one yet. No need for the courtly manners, and certainly not the moody temper. If you’re to be my escort tonight, I...

If you can’t say anything nice, at least have the decency to be vague.

May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.

Hurt, he’ll never be hurt–he’s made to hurt other people.

And since when is stealing people’s possessions the call of God? you are all hypocrites who have suddenly come into power, and you don’t know how to handle it

There are no injuries that run so deep that one can’t add insult to them and make them feel even worse.

Otulissa swelled up to twice her normal size. ‘Well, SPRINK ON YOUR SPRONK!

Hijo de Chihuahua,” said Mary Jo.

Ay, that I had not done a thousand more.Even now I curse the day—and yet, I think,Few come within the compass of my curse,—Wherein I did not some notorious ill,As kill a man, or else...

Thinking before taking actions is useful only if you are going to take action, otherwise you are wasting time and insulting your mind.