The cat is beauty and the beast, a baffling blend, a wicked feast.For all who dream of varied light, the cat holds both the dark and bright.

I sometimes longed for someone who, like me, had not adjusted perfectly with his age, and such a person was hard to find; but I soon discovered cats, in which I could imagine a condition like mine, and books, where I found it quite often.

It was a fitting animal for a priest. Cats guard the secrets of the otherworld and are liaisons with mystic realms. Protectors of esoteric knowledge, cats can open the gates through which a priest can see the future and gain insight.

He was thirty-six years old, and six foot three. He spoke English to people and French to cats, and Latin to the birds. He had once nearly killed himself trying to read and ride a horse at the same time.

Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiments have proven to me that he is the Unreasoning Animal… In truth, man is incurably foolish. Simple things which other animals easily learn, he is incapable of learning. Among my experiments was this. In an hour...

We…we could be friends.’We COULD be rare specimens of an exotic breed of dancing African elephants, but we’re not. At least, I’M not.

I wake upto my catsjudging me.They stareblanklyas if to say,”Is this whatyou had in mindfor your life?If it is, you maywant to considersleeping pills ora tall bridgebecause in our view,you’re pathetic.”Orthey’re hungry.

Our place was like Noah’s Ark. We had 14 people, two dogs, two cats and about 60 budgies in our house.

Why do I prefer cats to dogs? I have never stepped in cat shit.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were a very notorious couple of cats.As knockabout clowns, quick-change comedians,Tight-rope walkers and acrobatsThey had an extensive reputation.[…]When the family assembled for Sunday dinner,With their minds made up that they wouldn’t get thinnerOn Argentine joint, potatoes and greens,And the cook would appear from behind the scenesAnd say in a voice that was...

The cat’s asleep; I whisper “kitten”Till he stirs a little and begins to purr–He doesn’t wake. Today out on the limb(The limb he thinks he can’t climb down from)He mewed until I heard him in the house.I climbed up to get him down: he mewed.What he says and what he sees are limited.My own response...

After the group vet appointment–during which Lyle scratched the vet, the vet tech, and some poor woman minding her own business in the waiting room–we went back to Sabrina’s and re-released the cats to their natural habitat.

A kitten is the delight of a household. All day long a comedy is played out by an incomparable actor.

Actually, I dont hate cats, Im just kind of afraid of them.

The cat arrived with a bottle of Scotch.

I realized that cats make a perfect audience, they don’t laugh at you, they never contradict you, there’s no need to impress them, and they won’t divulge your secrets.

Pluto was a well-known fixture in Bad Münstereifel, at least among those who lived in the old part of town. A large, foul-tempered, and unsterilized inky-black tomcat, he had once made it onto the front page of the local free paper (admittedly during a quiet week as regards other news) after a resident of the...

Cats are always there when you need them, asleep, telling you with their body language that they don’t need you.

To Do Today, 1/17/081. Sit and think2. Reach enlightenment3. Feed the cats

It was raining cats and dogs. My clothes were saturated with meows and barks.

Lecture’s over.

If I knew everything, life would be lonely, as everyone else would want to explore the world, and I’d be content with a cat on my lap sitting in the dark.

I like how cats’ ears can flip inside out. It’s as if they’re saying, Keep talking, human, but I’m not even listening.

We may have pets, but when it comes to unconditional love, they are the masters.

She will not die today. I won’t let her.

Cats are connoisseurs of comfort.

Fine. If you insist.I’ll try Just.One.Nibble. But–I won’t enjoy it.

Not fooling around, not bothering nobody, just sitting here mending the Primus,” said the cat with a hostile frown, “and, moreover, I consider it my duty to warn you that the cat is an ancient, inviolable animal.

If you want to concentrate deeply on some problem, and especially some piece of writing or paper-work, you should acquire a cat. Alone with the cat in the room where you work … the cat will invariably get up on your desk and settle placidly under the desk lamp … The cat will settle down...

My name is Skippito Friskito. (clap-clap)I fear not a single bandito. (clap-clap)My manners are mellow,I’m sweet like the Jell-o,I get the job done, yes indeed-o. (clap-clap)

There are those who have suggested that the tendency of a cat to play with its prey is a merciful one…

A cat is only technically an animal, being divine.

When Rome burned, the emperor’s cats still expected to be fed on time.

I mean to say, we all sprang from humble origins. Goodness gracious, who would have thought that a species of monkey would take over the kingdom of the world. … I cannot help but feel that the monkey was not a good choice. Surely one of the cat family would have been much more satisfactory....

Look, we need to make time, but we also need to be somewhat quiet.” She faced him. “I am being quiet!”Pathik held a finger up to his lips. “Seriously. Quite. You don’t really want to attract a lot of attention out here if you can help it.”Rachel didn’t like the sound of that. “Are there...

Like all pure creatures, cats are practical.

A cat’s secrets run so deep that even the cat itself is often unaware. Their mysteries are as natural as whiskers.

Le ChatViens, mon beau chat, sur mon coeur amoureux; Retiens les griffes de ta patte, Et laisse-moi plonger dans tes beaux yeux, Mêlés de métal et d’agate. Lorsque mes doigts caressent à loisir Ta tête et ton dos élastique, Et que ma main s’enivre du plaisir De palper ton corps électrique, Je vois ma femme...

The kitten was six weeks old. It was enchanting, a delicate fairy-tale cat, whose Siamese genes showed in the shape of the face, ears, tail, and the subtle lines of its body. […] She sat, a tiny thing, in the middle of a yellow carpet, surrounded by five worshipppers, not at all afraid of us....

There are no ordinary cats.

I bought you a box of karate chops, but it could be dangerous to open it with a knife. And cats are masters at getting into boxes, so here, try opening it with my portable meow maker.

Although cats have nine lives, we believe Kitty may be running out of time. If no one extends a life line to Kitty Hawk, there is a real possibility that Kitty Hawk, in its present form, will no longer be in operation six months down the road.

I killed a flea this morning. I may have been a bit overzealous, because I accidentally killed the cat too.

A great band name would be Tickling Whiskers. Especially if the lead singer is a cat. I’d love to audition for backup dancer.

The best present is wrapped in fur. And when you shake the package, it meows. Give the gift of love, before it runs away and gets run over.

Silverbird” that I carried around the house, petting it like a cat. Needless to say it died. So I ate it.

I had a dream about you. Before I shaved my beard, I looked like a cat. My facial hair accurately represented my political beliefs, and if you don’t agree, well you can just lick my asshole.

Hamlet’s Cat’s Soliloquy”To go outside, and there perchance to stayOr to remain within: that is the question:Whether ’tis better for a cat to suffer The cuffs and buffets of inclement weatherThat Nature rains on those who roam abroad,Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet,And so by dozing melt the solid hoursThat clog the...

My meat smells like cat food. Makes me want to lick my own asshole.

There’s no thrilling anticipation of the day’s first cup of coffee…nor the eye-closing delight of that first swallow of sauvignon blanc in the evening. We cats have no access to everyday mood-enhancing substances. Apart from humble catnip, there is no pharmaceutical refuge if we’re suffering from boredom, depression, existential crisis, or even an everyday headache.