Love flows like flowers, and grows like water. I’m so thirsty for romance I could drink a dozen roses.

When you are young your body cannot handle alcohol, and when you get old your mind cannot handle it. Either way, alcohol has its way.

Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.

Parents drinking is the reason you came into the world, and if we didn’t keep doing it then, by God, it would be the reason you went back out of it.

one doesn’t even think ofthe liverand if the liverdoesn’t think ofus, that’sfine.

I like to have a martini,Two at the very most.After three I’m under the table,after four I’m under my host.

Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.

You know what I can’t stand?” Stand. I’ll sell rants in small, medium, and large.

I drink coffee like steam is the ghost of dead water. Ever tried inhaling the afterlife?

I added five shots to my coffee, because that’s all the bullets my magazine can hold.

Forget plastic surgery. Enhance your beauty by getting those around you drunk.

Lake water, even when boiled, has an effect on my digestive system similar to the movement of a hangman’s trapdoor.

the only drinking problem I’ve ever had, is figuring out why I’m still stuck in this salad spinner

Camels can go many weeks without drinking anything at all. The notion that they cache water in their humps is pure myth—their humps are made of fat, and water is stored in their body tissues....

At the time I started in ballet they were dancing ‘The Spirit of Champagne’ on pointe, in Paris. I thought, ‘I don’t want to dance the spirit of champagne, I want to drink it!

A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.

If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.

Next to music, beer was best.

Inside my soul a treasure is buried.The key is mine and only mine.How right you are, you drunken monster!I know: the truth is in the wine.(“The Unknown Lady”)

My professional life had started and here I was at a professional dinner full of uninhibited drinking.

There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.

I have liquid lips, and my kisses are smooth as wine. Why pour you a glass when you can drink from the bottle?

I left Mermaid’s Bar and Grill about 2:00 am, and fishtailed out of the parking lot.

Whenever I drink, I always have one too many. Of course, I only ever drink one.

Whiskey burns—my throat, not a forest. Love burns—my heart, not a forest. As for the forest, it burnt itself. At least that’s what I told the police during their interrogation.

Drummond appreciated his guest’s initial silence, his respect for the ancient, sacred act of imbibing. Drink first, talk later.

Take to the Sky,” but the rest of the time blurred after I drank absinthe with the Captain.

Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila.

The Brandy Diet is one of my personal favourites – you don’t lose any weight, but if you drink enough of the stuff then you neither care what you look like nor what people think...

Nothing bonds two solitary individuals like a good shared drunk. This is a scientific fact. It’s important, even necessary for the long-term welfare of the planet to get good and shit-faced with your neighbor every...

She picked up the stout and took a sip. It slid down her throat like silk.

So much the worse for those who fear wine, for it is because they have some bad thoughts which they are afraid the liquor will extract from their hearts.

When I walked into the house, I went in search of one of my dad’s bottles. Not that they were that hard to find. He hid bottles all over the house. I knew where they...

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument.

It is no longer necessary to preach sonorously of the sinful and deleterious effect of liquor on the human mind and body; the essential evil is recognised scientifically, and only the sophistry of conscious immorality...

Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I goTo heal my heart and drown my woeRain may fall, and wind may blowAnd many miles be still to goBut under a tall tree will I lieAnd let...

Drinks heavily loaded with ice are reasonably effective, but the best way to cool down is to cuddle with a recently deceased person.

Fill with mingled cream and amber, I will drain that glass again.Such hilarious visions clamber Through the chamber of my brain —Quaintest thoughts — queerest fancies Come to life and fade away;What care I how...

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so?There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

I am the Today Monster, and I’m hungry for yesterday. And I’m thirsty for coffee, which is like drinking tomorrow.

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

It is not always about what you eat and drink. Rather it can be about what you are not eating and drinking, for which the body is desperately craving!

Nel mio paese, la vodka non porta alcuna gioia. Porta abbruttimento, rimorso, depressione. Distrugge ogni cosa.

We look up to see if it is day or night. If stars burn cool and moon does shine, We take to smoke divine and wine.If breath of sun does belch its heat,we boil coffee...

I found that old Solomon proved it fair, That a big-belly’d bottle’s a cure for all care.

A good sherris-sack hath a twofold operation in it. It ascends me into the brain, dries me there all the foolish and dull and crudy vapors which environ it, makes it apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full...

One of the things that baffles me (and there are quite a few) is how there can be so much lingering stigma with regards to mental illness, specifically bipolar disorder. In my opinion, living with...

I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed but all I could do was to get drunk again.

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.