My dear: in this world there is always danger for those who are afraid of it.
[Man] progresses in all things by resolutely making a fool of himself.
Animals are my friends…and I don’t eat my friends.
If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t!
Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.
Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
Make it a rule never to give a child a book you would not read yourself.
Those who do not know how to live must make a merit of dying.
Nothing but the natural ignorance of the public, countenanced by the inoculated erroneousness of the ordinary general medical practitioners, makes such a barbarism as vaccination possible…….Recent developments have shown that an inoculation made in the...
To be in hell is to drift; to be in heaven is to steer.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.
The most tragic thing in the world is a man of genius who is not a man of honor.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It’s the funniest joke in the world.