Being rich is an untalented artist’s consolation prize.

Thanks to arranged marriages: There are countless women who have never been their husband’s girlfriend.

Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper.

Life is merely one very long day that routinely gets dark to give people a sensible excuse to keep their eyes closed for 8 hours.

While having one’s assertions challenged might be bad for an unintelligent man’s ego; it sure is good for his intellect.

Social networking platforms made it unnecessary to know people to know people.

Facebook gives people an illusory sense of being LIKED.

Politics and Sport were invented to give unknowledgeable people an opportunity to share their knowledge.

What to wear: An employee chooses. How to dress: His employer chose.

There is absolutely nothing feminine about the colour pink, or, anything bad-luck’ish about the colour black — in itself.

We can’t all be comedians, some people have to do the laughing.

To become richer, earn more. To appear richer, move into a poorer neighborhood.

Worry is to human beings … what a condom is to a man with erectile dysfunction.

Employees go to school for 12 – 18 years merely to impress prospect employers in a 12 – 18 minutes interview.

A genius is a grown-up that did not grow up.

Smartphones are tools which fools fiddle with when they are around people that they don’t have the courage, or, the intellect, to converse with.

The news is glorified gossip.

Not every happy person is married, and, Not every married person is happy.

*You only get one chance to make a first impression.* Ah, whatever!!! Who said you get three chances to make the second impression?!!

12% of dreams create jobs. 88% of jobs destroy dreams.

There is more to life than making a living. Do not work more than you live.

Retro is a symptom of a generation that is too lazy to innovate.

The present is the closest that you will ever get to the future.

Grandchildren are their grandparents’ toys.

In a society that prioritizes man’s health, a cleaner is more important than a lawyer.

Virginity comes standard. A good head is earned.

Religion makes people kill each other. Science supplies them with weapons.

Pain, unless it is physical, was sold to you (by your culture).

The media made the masses to find not-so-skinny women appear not-so-beautiful … in the eyes of the remote holder.

A civilized woman’s demands: A man who will (1) make her come … sometimes; but (2) pay the bills … at all times.

To halve the number of times that other people hurt you: halve the number of expectations that you have from other people.

A ‘white’ kid that asks too many questions is called *curious.* A ‘black’ kid that asks too many questions is called *forward.*

Life enslaves the poor by giving them problems that money can resolve, or, dissolve

All civilized wo/men are prostitutes: Some sell what’s between their legs; the rest sell what’s between their ears.

A blank cheque kills creativity.

When ready to settle down: women are more interested in where the man is going; men are more interested in where the woman has been.

To fail, try to please your critics. To please your critics, try to fail.

To be enslaved then, you needed to be ignorant. To be enslaved today, you need to be knowledgeable.

Marriage is the commodification of affection, copulation, and, reproduction.

Public opinion is to an unconventional idea … what abortion is to sperm.

A paparazzi is merely an extremely nosy nobody with a camera—and bills to pay.

I do not qualify to be a model. I lack the necessary obedience.

You know you are capitalism’s ideal puppet (and that education betrayed you) when winning the lottery is your only chance to realizing financial freedom.

Once employed, the employed’s friends are reduced to creatures that he only sees when he has a new problem, or, something new to show off.

Back then: to be regarded as well-known, one had to be great. Today: to be regarded as great, one has to be well-known.

Free is he who is reputable for not being fearful of losing his reputation.

88% of women love making their first love making incident with a man seem like an accident.

Your friends love you for who you are. Your family loves you for what you are.

A rumor is usually a lie that the media can legally profit from.

Rich men use most of their money to get richer. Poor men use most of their money to look richer.