Being rich is an untalented artist’s consolation prize.

Grandchildren are their grandparents’ toys.

Thanks to arranged marriages: There are countless women who have never been their husband’s girlfriend.

In a society that prioritizes man’s health, a cleaner is more important than a lawyer.

Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper.

Life is merely one very long day that routinely gets dark to give people a sensible excuse to keep their eyes closed for 8 hours.

While having one’s assertions challenged might be bad for an unintelligent man’s ego; it sure is good for his intellect.

Social networking platforms made it unnecessary to know people to know people.

Facebook gives people an illusory sense of being LIKED.

Politics and Sport were invented to give unknowledgeable people an opportunity to share their knowledge.

What to wear: An employee chooses. How to dress: His employer chose.

There is absolutely nothing feminine about the colour pink, or, anything bad-luck’ish about the colour black — in itself.

We can’t all be comedians, some people have to do the laughing.

To become richer, earn more. To appear richer, move into a poorer neighborhood.

Worry is to human beings … what a condom is to a man with erectile dysfunction.

Employees go to school for 12 – 18 years merely to impress prospect employers in a 12 – 18 minutes interview.

A genius is a grown-up that did not grow up.

Smartphones are tools which fools fiddle with when they are around people that they don’t have the courage, or, the intellect, to converse with.

The news is glorified gossip.

Religion makes people kill each other. Science supplies them with weapons.

Not every happy person is married, and, Not every married person is happy.

*You only get one chance to make a first impression.* Ah, whatever!!! Who said you get three chances to make the second impression?!!

12% of dreams create jobs. 88% of jobs destroy dreams.

There is more to life than making a living. Do not work more than you live.

Retro is a symptom of a generation that is too lazy to innovate.

The present is the closest that you will ever get to the future.

Virginity comes standard. A good head is earned.

An angry artist tells people what (he thinks) they need to hear. A hungry artist tells people what (he thinks) they want to hear.

Employment frees man from the nightmare of unemployment, while it chains him to his employer’s dream.

An educated woman is seen as a human being with a vagina. An uneducated woman is seen as a vagina with a human being.

Friends are family members we have a choice over.

To some women, a job plays the role of a man. To most women, a man plays the role of a job.

To a man, a woman is fun to be with … until she gains weight. To a woman, a man is fun to live with … until he loses his job.

The employed are punished by having to do what they do not love. The self-employed are punished by the opposite.

Hanging around people you’re smarter than is good for your ego. Hanging around people who are smarter than you is good for your intellect.

Giving up isn’t a deed. It is ‘discontinuity’ of a deed.

He who says that someone isn’t himself is a victim of statistics.

A bad handwriting is as annoying to a reader … as an irritating voice is to a listener.

Marriage and dating are man-made ideologies; if having a lover was a prerequisite to living, we’d all be born in pairs; as couples.

A sensible speaker is a slave to making sense.

In modeling, the colour of a man’s teeth is more important than his IQ.

88% of what we call good songs aren’t really good. They merely remind us of a good time we once had.

Ambition’ is ‘greed’ rebranded.

Some women are good-looking … until they change their hairstyle.

Reading leads to knowing more. Knowing more leads to arrogance. Reading further leads to humbleness.

To change the world, one has to ignore its residents.

98% of the things said by a drunk man are true; 98% of those said by a horny man aren’t.

In fiction: we find the predictable boring. In real life: we find the unpredictable terrifying.

Capitalism has turned human beings into commodities. To the owner of a restaurant: the cook and a bag of potatoes are equally important.

Faeces by any other name would smell as gross