Thanks to arranged marriages: There are countless women who have never been their husband’s girlfriend.

Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper.

Life is merely one very long day that routinely gets dark to give people a sensible excuse to keep their eyes closed for 8 hours.

While having one’s assertions challenged might be bad for an unintelligent man’s ego; it sure is good for his intellect.

Social networking platforms made it unnecessary to know people to know people.

Facebook gives people an illusory sense of being LIKED.

There is absolutely nothing feminine about the colour pink, or, anything bad-luck’ish about the colour black — in itself.

We can’t all be comedians, some people have to do the laughing.

To become richer, earn more. To appear richer, move into a poorer neighborhood.

Worry is to human beings … what a condom is to a man with erectile dysfunction.

Politics and Sport were invented to give unknowledgeable people an opportunity to share their knowledge.

What to wear: An employee chooses. How to dress: His employer chose.

Employees go to school for 12 – 18 years merely to impress prospect employers in a 12 – 18 minutes interview.

A genius is a grown-up that did not grow up.

Smartphones are tools which fools fiddle with when they are around people that they don’t have the courage, or, the intellect, to converse with.

The news is glorified gossip.

Not every happy person is married, and, Not every married person is happy.

*You only get one chance to make a first impression.* Ah, whatever!!! Who said you get three chances to make the second impression?!!

Being rich is an untalented artist’s consolation prize.

12% of dreams create jobs. 88% of jobs destroy dreams.

There is more to life than making a living. Do not work more than you live.

Retro is a symptom of a generation that is too lazy to innovate.

The present is the closest that you will ever get to the future.

Grandchildren are their grandparents’ toys.

In a society that prioritizes man’s health, a cleaner is more important than a lawyer.

Virginity comes standard. A good head is earned.

Religion makes people kill each other. Science supplies them with weapons.

After our loved one dies: we cry, not because they left; but because they left us.

Poor people do not go on holiday; they go home.

bride price”) is a retired broke father’s last hope to paying off his debts.

If growing up means not seeing one’s family and friends on the regular—all in the name of paying the bills, then growing up is overrated.

If we were rational enough to judge what we are fed based on what we are fed, those in the business of selling us hope (i.e., public speakers, presidents, priests, etc.) wouldn’t wear suits.

To put a dreamer in their place isn’t dreaming.

To leave a man’s ego bigger, retweet him. To leave his faculty of reasoning better, challenge his tweet.

Crime does not pay … if you get caught.

Those who find it hypocritical of others to use, say, a smartphone, to speak ill of capitalism, needs to be reminded that capitalism is an ideology, not a technology.

The boring thing about being interesting is that you bore boring people.

As uncomfortable as it might be, I refuse to let the comfort of being agreed with suffocate my opinions.

If man was a logical creature: his last suspect—namely, his mouth—was going to be the first; whenever he thinks that someone, or, something is smelly.

Alcohol is evil … until your loved one gets employed by a brewery.

Arguments led by subjectivity are a waste of time. And, if they take place online, add to that, a waste of one’s keyboard.

Those who lack the guts to create critic.

Technically, according to the notion of the will of God, there is no such a thing as a competent surgeon.

To a man who was required to marry before he was allowed to have sex with his lover, marriage is a ‘righteous’ form of prostitution.

There are two kinds of humble people: (1) Humble people; and (2) broke people.

In any sane society, a farmer is a billion times more important than an economist.

Back then, work revolved around life. Today, life revolves around work.

Air freshener is man’s pitiful attempt to have his food smell as good, after digestion, as they did, before ingestion.

To hear how much of a great human being you were — even if you really weren’t — open your ears at your funeral.

If heaven really exists: then heaven is the job, hell is unemployment, while life is merely an interview.