I smiled, reached into my pockets and pulled out a pair of ultrapowerful earplugs, the kind that are standard issue for skyway construction workers, artillery soldiers, and roadies for the thirty-five most popular teen boy...

Well, I can’t prove it, but, yes, I am leaning that way.

I believe that the door was unlocked.

Macarena” and having a root canal performed by an angry, clumsy chimp.

Would it make you feel better if I said I’ve done a numerical analysis on the probabilities and the results are skewed toward you having more problems with this case?

You bastard, stop that whistling and fight me like a man!

Let’s try to limit our use of stealth mode from now on,” I said.

The bag is now clearly catless, and there’s a very foul odor coming from the fan.

I never take rides from strangers, thugs who’ve tried to kill me or people with poor personal hygiene. Congratulations, by the way, for being the first person to qualify in all three categories.

I am writing your obituary. Well, not so much writing it as updating it,” HARV told me.If I lived, I was going to kill HARV.

Opie could be bloodthirsty, rabid, radioactive, and selling life insurance and he’d still be preferable to listening to the two of you.

Walking into Nova Hollywood, I remembered why I didn’t come here more often. I like a good slice of cheese as much as the next guy, but this place would be too cheesy for a...

Geologically speaking, of course,” HARV said.

My number one fear is heights. Well, not so much the heights but the falling from heights. Actually the falling isn’t that bad (I have a strong heart), it’s the sudden stops that are painful....

stupid” so as not to offend the ape community. Large of limb, impotent of intellect, he was the kind of guy who lettered in leg-breaking at thug school but flunked the written exam because he...

Thing is, I am not a big fan of hovers. I firmly believe that if man was meant to fly we’d have feathers, rubber bones, or better insurance coverage.

No, that is meant to inform you. I am your computer not your nanny.

So, what you’re basically telling me is death is boring but no worse than hanging out with family.

Of course it will hurt.

Twoa said, obviously still in my brain. “It was my pheromones,” she said defensively. I looked up at her; she was sniffing herself. She looked down at me. “Okay, maybe it wasn’t ALL the pheromones,”...

I go off-line for a few nanos and the whole world goes to DOS.

No, that’s easy, too. I just choose not to practice it.

‘Foo Kyu’ is just a very unfortunate cultural coincidence.””Just think about his poor son, ‘Foo Kyu Two.’

She’s got you there,” HARV added.