Philosophers, Poets and Fools have similar Consciousness

A water fountain is a drinkable sculpture. I just drank one shaped like my father, and I can’t wait to shoot him out of my penis, so I can abandon him like he did to...

Men don’t hear women.

You will miss a normal life while living a successful life, but not as much as the craving for a successful life while you were living a normal life.

Waiters are the help, dear. It’s like falling in love with a blender!

Reality Sucks, I want my dreams back.

What part of Canada are you from, honey?””THE LEFT PART,” said Jay.

Mr. A calls me into his office and says he’s got bad news and bad news, and which do I want first. I say the bad news.

Men can beat each other to a pulp and still walk away friends. With a woman, once an enemy, always an enemy. Women will sit like a spider, for years, waiting for the chance to...

Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.

anything that i dont know from everthing i know is just nothing but something not unusual . the most simple reality on the whole wide Universe .

WHAT A CONCUBINE SHOULD NEVER SAY:In your case, ED is not a man’s name.

I can’t believe he didn’t have the dignity and presence of mind just to get drunk and pass out in some gutter,” said Jace. “I must say, I’m disappointed in the little fellow.

What’s big, thick, makes the earth move, and wants to have its way with you?” “I don’t know, but can you introduce me?

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.

So it’s true what they say about warlocks, then?”Alec gave him a very unpleasant look. “What’s true?””Alexander,” said Magnus coldly, and Clary met Simon’s eyes across the table. Hers were wide, green, and full of...

real” relationship?

I like doing films and I wish that I could do more but I still have to audition. I don’t get offered starring roles in movies even though I’ve written and starred in a movie.

Forgive me, madam,” he said lightly, amused, “but waiting to make love to you again is straining my nerves.” She scoffed but she was quite shaken; he could see it in her expression, in the...

I love you” isn’t romantic. Still, I get credit for rowing, right?

This is the biggest damn IPod I’ve ever seen,” Claire said, which made him choke on his beer. “Kidding. I have seen a jukebox before.

Woah, their gorgeous not so fast I haven’t even catched your name or your number” – Jaxson Evans

When I’m old and I brush my teeth and her dentures, I’ll smile because that is love—and that is disgusting.

Lou, honey, I’ll buy you a new pair of shoes if you’ll stop flashing your panties at everyone sitting across the room from us. You are wearing panties, right?”I glance up and across at Stefan....

So, if you’re doing good longform with talented people than you can step out and you can be the president or a construction worker and people accept that. It’s really the roles you give yourself.

She had no legs, so I made her wear suspenders and I carried her like a backpack. True love knows no luggage.

I do something. I’ll try not to hurt you.

While we’re at it, why don’t we add a third emotion to this list: lust. You are probably unaware that Linnaeus lumped the tomato into the same genus as the potato, a food with a...

I farted like a pack of crying onions. That was my response to her I love you.

Lilli . . . Lilli . . . Lilli.”Sweet Jesus, she was going to kill him. She’d just gotten to sleep. Now he was running a finger up and down her spine, saying her name...

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less.

That’s the key, you know, confidence. I know for a fact that if you genuinely like your body, so can others. It doesn’t really matter if it’s short, tall, fat or thin, it just matters...

I started getting on my feet and clowning around, and they ended up putting me in a play when I was 12. And I was hooked.

No, officer, I have no idea why I’m wearing this possum costume. I called you what? OH. My bad.”-Nastasya

Jeff- “A Hanukkah tradition is making potato pancakes. For something a little different, use a sweet potato. Anything you’d like to add, Walter?”Walter- “Accept Jesus as your Savior or you’ll burn in Hell for all...

An educated theologian: someone who’s better at rationalizing what they’re pretending to know.

His eyes widened. Oh, hell, you think I’m going to let him bite me? No way. It’s too risky and way too guy.

Antonio,” Ash groaned, “you know I hate it when you eat at my desk.” “I know,” Antonio replied, “but I don’t mind and so long as one of us is reasonable, I figured why not?

My dad was a ham, too. He could sell those women anything. Of all his sons, I was the only one he could trust to sell as well as he could. I was proud of...

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn’t have any, they gave you some.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

I had a dream about you. You were an escalator, and I was a flight of stairs. You thought I was a Luddite, and I thought I was as ostrich, because I hadn’t figured out...

I never arrive unannounced without something big and juicy in hand.- Simon Hunt

Have you ever started to wave at someone and then realized they weren’t really waving at you, so you abort and go for a head scratch instead? That’s how I felt.

If that’s the case, waiter, please bring me another piece of cake,” Gramps said as lunch was brought to the table, “I’m all for fighting tyranny and oppression.

He watched in awe as she stacked up an enormous armload of music. “There,” she finished, slapping Frank Zappa’s Greatest Hits on top of the pile. “That should do for a start.” “You are a...

Yes, because a vampire slumber party is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior.

You’ve brushed your teeth,” He says, staring at me.”I used your toothbrush.”His lips quirk up in a half smile. “Oh Anastasia Steele, what am I going to do with you?

Sarah, honey, I hardly think kidnappers are going to take the time to buy a memento of their stay. I could be wrong, but it seems rather unlikely.