I was shy,” said six-foot-one of bashful male. He grunted as a sharp, feminine elbow thudded inconspicuously into his side.

Gloves are condoms for the hands. My bare handshake might impregnate you.

I came in several times and spoke, but perhaps you were asleep when I thought you were awake.”You are very considerate to explain it this way,’ Sugreeva said, ‘but I was drunk

The scientist believes in proof without certainty, the bigot in certainty without proof.

Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilty and I’ll show you a man.

Like your zodiac sign?’ Percy asked. ‘I’m a Leo.”No, stupid,’ Leo said. ‘I’m a Leo. You’re a Percy.

Story Content Warning: There will be angst, sex, a little rough language and rampant lesbianism. If this is not your cup of tea, don’t drink it. If you are not old enough to read this,...

In Jacksonville, there are more childrenless children than fatherless children. Barely. But that’s one bad thing that’s actually a good thing.

I hate goblins.

Though Alec had never seen the occupants of the first floor loft, they seemed to be engaged in a tempestuous romance. Once there had been a bunch of someone’s belongings strewn all over the landing...

The three of us made love like one of us was a voyeur. I was the only one using binoculars as a sex toy.

She came awake, stomach rumbling, and opened her eyes to see a plate being held right under her nose. When she reached for it, Shane snatched it back. ‘Nuh-uh. Mine.”Share!’ she demanded.’Man, you are one...

But you see, a rich country like America can perhaps afford to be stupid.

Screw sharks; a Transformer could be stretching up on its tippy toes and would still have a mile of cover to eat me.

I suggested she write down her thoughts” He said, “and, well, my daughter is a very thorough woman.””I can see that” Waxillium said.”I suggest that you never ask her to pass the milk” Wayne added...

Advice about love: When the green grape turns red, it’s time to separate the socks from the mittens.

We’re too different now. We want different things. And this?” I say nodding at our hands. “All this managed to prove is that you are extremely good at turning me off

Well, I’m sure there are people of Turkish origin wouldn’t want to do that, but external forces would try to influence the situation in Turkey.

I think we all should be in love once in our lifetime, even if we’re in love with someone who’s not alive in our lifetime. Long distance relations are hard, especially when you’re separated by...

I was going to buy a copy of “The Power of Positive Thinking”, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?

I want to be a man of mountaintops: to scale the heights, achieve a sublime transcendence, and breathe in the thin air. Transcendence requires suffocation.

The thing we have in common is we both love to make love. Maybe one day we can merge our mutual interest and make love to each other.

We have the best rats in town!

My girlfriend and I are close. She’s like a brother to me. My brother is also dating her. We make love like mannequins and mashed potatoes, despite the fact that I’m single and an only...

Though I normally approve of plain speaking, as you know, I would suggest that as part of your good behavior, you refer to the king as ‘his grace’ or even simply ‘the king’ instead of...

I think I liked the idea better when it was in my head.

You’re nasty and you’re loud,you’re mean enough for two,If I could be a cloud,I’d rain all day on you.

I think the enemy is self-censorship. In a free society the biggest danger is that you’re afraid to the point where you censor yourself.

I held a nail in place and slammed it with the hammer. Best. Chore. Ever.

Eve talking to someone on her computer and having trouble with the language translator…..”I have two like crimes. Your data and your input on Leclerk would be very helpful”Marie pursed her lips and humor danced...

Their faces were clay-coloured and featureless, yet not stupid; they might have been shrewd turnips.

Go out with me tomorow night,” Perry went on. “Let me prove to you that I’m the guy you want.””I…I guess I coul go out tomorrow night,” Miranda sounded shocked and a little swept off...

Mallory dropped her head to the steering wheel. “Look, I’m mad at you, okay? This isn’t about me. I know my painful memories are relative. My life is good. I’m lucky. This isn’t about how...

My father was adamant in his disapproval of my interest in show business.

I can see clearly now, my brain is gone.Lucy

I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the...

God’s children and their happiness are my reasons for being.

I had a dream about you. You were wearing Sylvester Stallone’s sneer as pants, but his lips were saggy on your legs, so you had to wear a mustache as a belt.

With my grandma, every Sunday after church.

Lucas: I wanted to talk to you after class, but you disappeared.Me: I have another class right after. One of those profs who stops talking, stares at you and waits until you get to your...

I have been told the best things in life are free ~ I found them very expensive.

I had a dream about you. We were married and I walked into the room to see you in my new black dress and high heels and I said “That’s not what I meant when...

He thinks things through too much.

Subject: SundownDate: June 14 2011 09:35To: Christian GreyDear Completely & Utterly SmittenI love waking up with you, too. But I love being in bed with you and in elevators and on pianos and billiard tables...

Francesca took a navy blue sheath from a hanger and held it up. “This is darling, Gabriel. Don’t you love it? You’re right, I think we need to concentrate on much more feminine articles of...

Whatcha do to Ricky Ricardo? Found him talking real fast in Spanish.” “Nothing.” She looked at Tony. “He’s just moody, and the moodier he gets, the less you can understand him.

Boohoo.

Um i’m happy to sit close to you and everything, but i had no idea you would like it so much,’ Paris muttered.

Some stories have to be written because no one would believe the absurdity of it all.

We made love like a half a minute. I brought the thirty seconds, and she provided the excuse as to why she didn’t have enough time to have sex with me.