You should be flattered that I think you look like Miley Cyrus.”

Majority wins, but majority is not necessarily right and sometimes majority is awfully wrong.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch

In lieu of Tasers, you’ll have to hit me. Hard as you can. Then maybe some kind of fight-or-flight response will kick in and I’ll turn into a bat to get away from you.””Fight or...

A crazy old lady, leading a band of teenagers against an angry supernatural Entity – who’da thought?

And if I can take part in it by transforming my own consciousness, then someone else’s, I’m happy to do it.

I never knew my father. I saw him at a party once, but he never walked over and introduced himself to me.

Simon!” Clary shouted, and seized his arm. “What?” Simon looked alarmed.”I’m not really sleeping with your mom, you know. I was just trying to get your attention. Not that your mom isn’t a very attractive...

I am the Hooray Distributor. Hold your hands flat, not like begging for money, but as if you’re about to applaud. Now clap, damn you.

…what was the good of being a movie werewolf? You howled at the moon; you couldn’t remember what you did, and then somebody shot you.

My nose, it’s like a doorstop for fists. Violence is just my fellow man’s way of showing love to me.

The pimple is perfect.

I drink coffee like other men paint pictures of naked women. I do it because I love the full body.

But thanks to the efforts, the initiative of the United States and of the several countries from the world, from Europe, including Turkey, it ended within a few weeks.

I’ve got a lot of love to give you. And by you I mean your clone.

I didn’t mean it as a compliment!

I drink trees, and I pee beavers. I know, you must imagine that I’m an exceptional lover. And I am! (I’m imagined, not an exceptional lover).

Just this past summer, I took online courses in introductory logic and law through civilization. Often the weight of history, with its facts heaped upon facts requiring complex chains of inference to sort through –...

Adam’s hot Pheebs! Admit it girl. That body is like some kind of happy experiment. It’s like he was manufactured in a nympho scientist’s secret laboratory

It was all Mrs. Bumble. She would do it,” urged Mr. Bumble; first looking round, to ascertain that his partner had left the room.That is no excuse,” returned Mr. Brownlow. “You were present on the...

what’s meant for you will reach you in time, and if you embrace it with your arms wide open it might just stay with you forever and bless you with more happiness than you could...

It kind of struck me how great it would be to go out with a guy that size. And if you, you know, got tired of dating him, you could always use him as a...

Self-knowledge is better than self-control any day,” Raquel said firmly. “And I know myself well enough to know how I act around cookies.

If ye canna see the bright side o’ life, polish the dull side

I’m much more than a writer – I’m someone who puts different words together in an interesting way.

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I...

It would actually constitute more than a miracle, he realised. It would take divine intervention plus luck, plus some unknown element of cosmic wizardry.

It’s said that sport is the civilised society’s substitute for war, and also that the games we play as children are designed to prepare us for the realities of adult life. Certainly it’s true that...

If you want to keep people happy, just keep the food and entertainment rolling.

I dance for a living. At the early bird special you can find me—doing the worm.

Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.

In this world only the paranoid survive.

You’re 16 years old, you don’t know shit about shit, and PULL UP YOU’RE PANTS!!!

Yeah, okay. You’re right. I was having dinner with Zombie Carl the other night. You know, steak, rare, and a bottle of vintage type A. He told me all his secrets, but too bad for...

Shindana na wenzako kuwa juu zaidi katika tasnia uliyojichagulia.

A blanket could be used to stop the bleeding. But dammit you’re going to have to hurry, before I bleed out all over the carpet.

Please. If you were mostly dead in the middle of the road I’d obviously stop. And then I’d watch you die.”Kate to Will

A blanket could be used to make people smile. But the blanket won’t make just anyone smile—it will make people with no mouths smile. I plan on showing a live audience how it works at...

We insist,” I tossed in.

A brick could be used to test how fast you throw a baseball, if, you know, baseballs were cube-shaped and integral to the construction of houses.

That’s enough, Phineas,” said Dumbledore.

I can’t go to Amsterdam. One of my doctors thinks it’s a bad idea.”He was quiet for a second. “God,” he said. “I should’ve just paid for it myself. Should’ve just taken you straight from...

Oh. That’s okay then. ’Cause I really like bacon.

Could the two people who are making out please be quiet?” the Colonel asked loudly from his sleeping bag. “Those of us who are not making out are drunk and tired.

I don’t like sleeping in the dark jungle by myself.Ren

It’s funny. No matter how hard you try, you can’t close your heart forever. And the minute you open it up, you never know what’s going to come in. But when it does, you just...

A brick could be used to tell the world’s largest Yes what you really want to tell it, which is no. Tell that Yes no now, and use a brick to help you do it.

Do you see that man in the black Porsche?” I asked the women.They squinted out at Ranger. “Yes,” they said.”Your partner.””He’s homeless. He’s looking for a place to stay and he might be interested in...

A brick could be used to declare war on a country made of glass. I’ll bet those citizens would love to drink vodka dyed blue like window cleaner.

Manners, boy. I’ll beat them into you if I have to.