The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.

As long as I am breathing, in my eyes, I am just beginning.

I celebrate my birthday in ways not seen this side of the Old Testament. I celebrate my life like the Dead Sea, and my party is a BYOP (bring your own plague) event.

A clone would make a great birthday gift, because it’s the only gift that keeps on giving. At least it’d better give me a birthday present every year. It owes its life to me.

I know it’s not your birthday, but would you like some birthday dick? It’s on sale today.

Celebrate your day of birthday as special day.Make a specific birthday wishes and write it down.You will be amazed about the power of pen and inner strength to accomplish the wishes.This will be a special...

A day of birth is a joyful day.

a happy birthdaythis evening, I sat by an open windowand read till the light was gone and the bookwas no more than a part of the darkness.I could easily have switched on a lamp,but I...

I don’t know any other way I would have rather spent my birthday. These kids are really special.

Birthday is a salty word if you’re not a fan of cake and ice cream.

Playing basketball, I blew out my knee like it was a birthday candle. Sports are so much more fun to play when sitting at a table and opening presents and eating cake.

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

Every child born into the world has a divine mission to fulfill.As the child grows into adulthood, he or she must act to fulfill the divine mission.

It takes a long time to become young.

I’m lost in the middle of my birthday. I want my friends, their touch, with the earth’s last love. I will take life’s final offering, I will take the last human blessing.

To divide one’s life by years is of course to tumble into a trap set by our own arithmetic. The calendar consents to carry on its dull wall-existence by the arbitrary timetables we have drawn...

I am an uncle, though this is not a new feeling for me, as I’ve been one before. I’ve also been 2 through 32, and I turn 33 in March.

When I was a kid, I was just a boy. But that all changed by my 18th birthday. No longer a kid, I was a full-fledged goat.

Twenty-five, he was. Twenty-five tomorrow. Some years the snow had melted for his birthday, but not this year, and so it had been a long winter full of cows.

Good way to spend a birthday.

Without a doubt, this is the worst birthday he could have from a judicial standpoint. This is by far the most delicate situation he’s gone through.

To me, fair friend, you never can be old. For as you were when first your eye I eyed. Such seems your beauty still.

At my last birthday party I had fun and really let myself go. Literally. I opened the cages where I keep my clones and I let myself go, all 333 versions of myself.

Love is a gift that costs nothing to give. Love is also the most valuable thing in the world. Think about that next time you’re tempted to call me a cheap bastard because I didn’t...

Can you ever really say you know anybody—your clone included? Still, if my clone’s birthday were coming up, I’d only shop Buy One Get One Free deals.

The birth of a child is a sacred phenomenon.

Birthday, the celebration of life. Celebrate who you are. Celebrate your uniqueness. Celebrate your achievement. Celebrate all that you are capable of becoming.

At seventy-seven it is time to be earnest.

A birth-date is a reminder to celebrate the life as well as to update the life.

Happy Birthday.

If we could celebrate our birthday on any day of the year, would you choose the one you were born on? I’d be a fool and a liar if I told you I didn’t want...

I need a tube-shaped bathtub, to play the tuba in. I make love like I make music—in a shower that’s in a phone booth that’s in 1981, the year before I was born.

The birth of a child is divine miracle.

One starts to get young at the age of sixty and then it is too late.

And next time? Eat the stupid cupcake.

Siku ya kuzaliwa ni siku ya kwanza ya safari nyingine ya siku 365, masaa 5, dakika 48, sekunde 46 na maili milioni 600 kulizunguka jua. Safiri salama.

On your birthday you should throw me a party. This is my advice for everybody, especially my clones.

the difference between love and appreciation! After much consideration and reflective thinking; I realised that, we sometimes hold onto things we believe we love, and just after a while, we lose interest. Appreciation is nothing...

Birthdays could be such a bummer when you were older than the country you lived in.

A child s a special possession from God.

As my nostrils filled with the stench of burnt hair and my friends scurried to clean up the mess, I thought, ‘If your hair catches on fire while you’re making a wish, does that mean...

Don’t celebrate how old you are, celebrate the years you survived.

I make love like 1981, one year before I was born. That explains why all your orgasms are nonexistent.

My gift to you is not what’s in the box—it is the box. Happy Birthday!

Take me to Happy Birthday Land. It’s open 364 days of the year, and the one day of the year it’s closed for cleaning happens to be my birthday.

The day of birth is day of life.

The day of birth is a miraculous day.

A happy birthday is measured not in the amount of gifts one gets, but in the amount love one receives.

Better to have to retrace your steps and then move forward than never to move forward at all.

Just to show my dad that I think he’s number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday.