Hey, Ethan.””Yeah?””Remember the Twinkie on the bus? The one I gave you in second grade, the day we met?””The one you found on the floor and gave me without telling me? Nice.”He grinned and shot...

I’ve never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I’ve done a lot of stuff. I don’t know that I would put the puppets on when I was pitching...

It was the worst moment of my life. The producer came up and talked me back into going on stage.

Why won’t you answer my question correctly!

yes, i have dated Salvador Dali guy when i was a high school girl. he was a great lover. but i had to dump him because he stole my inspiration of bent clock*~* …. who...

Our principles are the springs of our actions. Our actions, the springs of our happiness or misery. Too much care, therefore, cannot be taken in forming our principles.

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Another thing I take issue with are people who take their dogs on “play dates,” or even worse, people who choose to dress their dogs up in outfits better suited for homosexuals participating in a...

We know that there are many animals on this continent not found in the Old World. These must have been carried from here to the ark, and then brought back afterwards. Were the peccary, armadillo,...

Quick question: Is having no plan the same as having a terrible plan, or are those different categories?

If you have ever seen a dragon in a pinch, you will realize that this was only poetical exaggeration applied to any hobbit, even to Old Took’s great-granduncle Bullroarer, who was so huge (for a...

Mother, you have my father much offended.

I left Indiana, and I ain’t been back since. I’ve been doing comedy and paying my bills.

I want to gather up all the ink cartridges in the universe, because somewhere, mixed in with all that ink, is the next great American novel. And I’d love nothing more than to drink it.

I’m so careless that now i don’t even care if i cared for you.

You can just keep carrying me. It’s very relaxing.

Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights.

I see uncool people!

For loose teeth the tooth fairy recommends tying your tooth to a brick and throwing said brick down the stairs.

Love is a tomato. And while it’s true that I can live without a tomato, I could sure go for some ketchup.

I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.

Everyone has someone to call on when they’re down, let me be that someone when that ones not around.

I visited Seven Sisters Inn, and all I got was a gun pulled on me. But that’s OK, because I brought a spare pair of underwear. Oddly, I didn’t find the man who stuck a...

But we left camp after a while and we was driving in a real spooky place cause all the roads up near camp are dark and in the woods and we had to drive for...

Neden genetik?-Hmm… Çünkü takıntılı ebeveynlere hayallerindeki iBebek’leri tasarlamaları için yardım etme hayalim var. Beyaz ırk, zayıf, sarı saç, mavi göz, sağlıklı, mümkünse erkek, mümkün olsun erkek olsun lütfen doktor hanım, sayısalcı ve heteroseksüel.

I’m not a very good sleeper. But you know what? I’m willing to put in a few extra hours every day to get better. That’s just the kind of hard worker I am.

Work is important to me. I want to do things for principle, not just for the sake of doing them.

Be honest with yourself; set the alarm for the time the Real You will get up, not the Ambitious You, because the Ambitious You doesn’t really exist.

Too bad Americans can’t export Awesome, because I have boxes and boxes of the stuff just lying around in my attic.

The mind likes a strange idea as little as the body likes a strange protein and resists it with similar energy. It would not perhaps be too fanciful to say that a new idea is...

Maybe we should have gone with him,” he said, a few minutes after his friend was lost to sight.”Three of us would make four times the noise he will,” Halt said.Horace frowned, not quite understanding...

I pretend he doesn’t exist, and he does the same with me.

I’m sure I look like a drowned cat.””You look fine. The wet look works for you.”I scowled. “Now I know you’re lying.

Skul-man!’ he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. ‘Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun by evil trans-dimensional superfiends!’ Skulduggery nodded. ‘Just got back.

I like going back and writing fiction.

The Doctor put his finger to his lips and Martha nodded and followed him as quietly as she could. Wet leaves squelched under her feet. There was movement up ahead: two teenagers, a pale boy...

Finding the book was like kissing a lightning bolt.

I had a dream about you. We were standing next to each other, and a stranger asked for the time. My watch said 3:32, and yours said 3:33. I got concerned because somewhere I’d lost...

I rubbed at my temple, where the zit was gone. It still hurt a little , though, deep under the skin. I hate those zits that burrow underground. You think they’ve vanished, but no, they...

The easiest way to get from point A to point B is with a vehicle that runs on alphabet soup.

I did some acting in high school, I knew I really liked it.

Wedded she some years, and to a manOf fifty, and such husbands are in plenty;And yet, I think, instead of such a ONE’Twere better to have TWO of five and twenty…

Sqwaak!” from Fletcher, the environmental crime fighting parrot in The Big Belch graphic novel by Kay Wood.

The Minister of Transport issued this appeal to motorists: Can anyone give him a lift to Leicester?

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.

I have the dance moves of a mustache, and a singing voice that sounds like a beard on the inside of my cheeks. Carry my love like karaoke in your pocket.

All lines are gray in the dark.

I once asked an old Japanese man why Japan decided to team up with Germany during WWII, and do you know what he told me? Well, you would if you speak Japanese, which I don’t.

He says black, I say white and we do grey

I want my relationship with my girlfriend to be built on trust, not toothpicks, rubber bands, and lentil beans.