I could name my penis Steve, and it would be appropriate, as it is sort of shaped like my dad’s face, whose name is Steve. Not just his face, but his whole body and person...

A father and son walked into a bar, and the bartender didn’t serve either because the one didn’t look old enough. And he was right. Who becomes a dad in middle school?

We all have days when we say that we are gown-ups, that we are mature, have a lot of experience and don’t need advise from others.But it is our mom and dad we turn to...

Nothing in Dad is mass-produced. I think everything he does, he does because he loves the individual people of the church.

I’m going to be a person who writes stories.I never told mom and dad how much I loved them.I wanna be someone who can tell a lot of people how much I love them.

My love is tube shaped. Don’t let your dad stick his dick in it.

drew the pistol and shot her dad in the back as he was going down the hallway to the front door.

I think the next step is to try to get his mom and dad down [to U.Va.], probably for a football weekend. Then everyone will have seen it . . . and then I think...

They left my dad in the room to tell him first. When I came back in, I saw his face. I knew then. It was kind of heartbreaking.

My dad once said… “Some friends are like “rubber wrappers”; they bind with you safely but get weaker when you stretch them too much”. Treat your friends with care, else the elasticity of their love...

I called my father, but he pretended to be sleeping at first, then claimed not to know me, and then claimed I had the wrong number. And sure enough, when I looked at the number...

That night, stargazing on the deck with Dad, eyes on the sky, he pointed out Orion, Betelgeuse. “It’s an art to read the stars, baby.”I never wanted to leave his side-my sure song for so...

He had been searching for it his entire life. He had devoted himself to poetry to find it. Now, in the middle of his life, he found it. It was in the face of the...

Chairs have legs. Four of them, like my father. Meow.

I want to be a dad. Sorry, I’m dyslexic. I meant to write dad.

Yeah, Dad can go and write a script, but if I did something else, I’d produce.

A best friend is the only one that walks into your life when the world has walked out.

You become a man when, in having children, you not only physically look after and protect them but also protect them with all the love and learning you have to give.

Dad.” (By the way, Bob is NOT my dad).

If I have succeeded, it is because I have failed. And if I have failed, it’s because of my father. It’s all my dad’s goddamned fault.

Will your dad freak if I kiss you good-bye?” he asked.

I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears.

My name is Monika Ora Moniker, but you can call me MOM. Or dad will do just fine.

He treats the person as if they were fully whole.We become what others expect us to be. Dad expected me to get better and even assumed I would have something helpful to say. Funny how...

All I ever knew was that my dad was a pilot of an F-106; he was killed because his ejection seat didn’t work. And I guess that’s the way it always was. I was so...

Certain things are extremely difficult to understand, such as the concept of unconditional love, perhaps it is due to mislead thoughts about God’s love for us. Assuming that we can say or do certain things...

My mother and dad both loved to sing,

I am somebody’s son, and I know a guy I call “Dad.” Those two things are unrelated.

No one is ever quite ready; everyone is always caught off guard. Parenthood chooses you. And you open your eyes, look at what you’ve got, say “Oh, my gosh,” and recognize that of all the...

The greatest thing a father can do for his children is to respect the woman that gave birth to his children. It is because of her that you have the greatest treasures in your life....

Mom was the planner. She said, ‘We’re going to do this, we’re going to do that,’ and my dad would go along.

If you are a good parent, please continue to be a good one. But if you are bad parent, today is a great new beginning for you to start a great new chapter of parenthood.

Honestly, I’d rather be anywhere else. Even home, where my dad begins almost every conversation with, “You should lose the black clothes and wear something with color.” Puh-lease. Like I want to look like every...

…some nights I’d sneak out and listen to the radio in my Dad’s old Chevy – children need solitude – they don’t teach that in school…

I have always loved camping, ever since I was eight, and was forcibly stuffed in a trunk and dropped off in the middle of the forest. My dad was a complex man, but I believe...

My dad always used to tell me __________________. My dad never told me anything. He had nothing to say, and even less to say to me.

Maybe it was Mom and Dad. I don’t know, but somebody was.

In his imagination, he grabbed his dad by the throat and squeezed until an old mans face turned purple. No pleading, no begging, simply… nothing.

In 1992, when I was out of the league waiting for a job, my dad passed away and my wife was pregnant. People will tell you, ‘Oh, I never doubted for a moment.’ Well, I...

He knew dad was hurt.

The day my dad left my mom and I was the second saddest day of my life. The saddest day was the next day, when he returned home.

You know my father as governor, as president, but I knew him as dad. I was so proud to have the Reagan name and to be Ronald Reagan’s son.

Hell, there’re already too many psychologists; too many everythings. Too many engineers, too many chemists, too many doctors, too many dentists, too many sociologists. There aren’t enough people who can actually do anything, really know...

My dad was 16, and Liberace was 17. They were both finalists. My dad was a humble guy, but he was always sort of proud that he placed ahead of Liberace in the contest.

That was kind of hard to deal with. Her dad smoked, and, as a journalist, she had worked in an environment where a lot of people smoked.

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

Dad was at his desk when I opened the door, doing what all British people do when they’re freaked out: drinking tea.

People tell me I look like my father. I’ve never seen my dad, so does that mean I look invisible?

I couldn’t have pulled it off if you hadn’t have pulled out all those years ago. So thanks, dad.

The amount of time we give to something indicates it’s importance to us.