When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.

Dear, ye do have a problem.

Today I am in love. Today is Tuesday, although the day of the week has no influence or impact on the fact that I’m in love. It could be Monday and I’d still be in...

Jestli jsou oči zrcadlem duše, pak je Edward v maléru, protože nikdo není doma.

A brick could be traded for a soon-to-be abandoned baby. Let’s build a better future together.

In 1901, Jacksonville burned down in a fire, killing only seven people. Well, the fire killed four people, and I murdered the other three.

I mean, really. Who sends their kid to boarding school? It’s so Hogwarts. Only mine doesn’t have cute boy wizards or magic candy or flying lessons.

I go to networking events because what else am I going to do? I’ve already finished my daily planning for how to take over the world.

She’s an absolute idiot!” she added with the wisdom invariably shown by people who, not being in love themselves, feel that a clever man should only be unhappy about a person who is worth his...

Goddammit! How does the world keep spinning with women on the planet?”Ian St. John in THE POMPEII SCROLL

I had a dream about you. The flowers were blooming, but our love was wilting. I tried to water our relationship, but no matter what I did, you were insistent on leaving me for a...

People, heed my warning: That stuff is Specials Olympics in a pint glass. You think they are harmless and not very strong, and the next thing you know it is an hour later and you...

I make love like you wouldn’t believe. Seriously, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you, so why don’t I show you?

In the Rainbow Jungles of Ever there lives what I affectionately call, killer ducks.

A blanket could help me tell you I love you. Well, it could if I did, but I don’t, so I’ll just use the blanket to go to sleep on our relationship.

No Matter what you’re, Matter is ; What you do.

Every nook and cranny,” Marietta interrupted dryly and Gabrielle tipped her head back with a throaty laugh.

I have a memory like a baseball glove, so please, don’t toss me a basketball-sized rumination.

There are seven and a half billion people on this earth – somebody’s got to get sucked into a vortex.

A brick could be used to declare war on a country made of glass. I’ll bet those citizens would love to drink vodka dyed blue like window cleaner.

Children want the same things we want.To laugh, to be challenged, to be entertained, and delighted.

So what are you doing around here?” I ask, feeling all jittery, but this time it’s in a good way.”Oh, I was just in the area.” he says vaguely. “I thought I’d take Welly for...

What is grand is necessarily obscure to weak men. That which can be made explicit to the idiot is not worth my care.

If I owned a t-shirt shop, I would honor Eli Whitney by putting his face on a t-shirt made from 100% cotton. FREE admission if you’re topless.

Yo Mama’s like a library, open to the public.

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.

I wouldn’t mind showering in the rain, if there weren’t so many naked men holding umbrellas standing behind me. Who invited Congress?

Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates.

…A person who is headstrong enough to open their eyes and their heart to the full depth and weight of the world is inviting in everything out there – both evil and good, both dark...

I’m always sad to leave Jax. So many magical moments here. Like the time I saw a rainbow give birth to a pot of gold, guarded by a dwarf in green.

The purpose of this life is to worship Allah the only God who has no partners or associates.And I (Allah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)Quran Chapter 51...

I make love like a brick could be used as toilet paper. Sure, it’s rough, but I thought you liked that shit.

The picture is bad because the photographer was poor. I took the picture myself, and you can clearly tell I have no money.

I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.

Man, didn’t anybody ever tell you that art is propaganda? It doesn’t matter whether you think it should be or it shouldn’t be, it just is, and motherfucker, like or not, you’re sitting on a...

But you will.”And she knew he was right.

Chicken Soup for the Soul”. You’ve heard of these books, am I right? We’ve all heard of them. But I wonder if you’re aware of just how many “Chicken Soup” books exist on the planet....

A blanket could be used for political transparency. After all, what’s more see-through than a brick wall?

I had a dream about you. You were guarding a bridge that I needed to cross. You asked if I had the proper paperwork, and I said I did, but I was just missing one...

Careers are not made in a family business, they are born – by patricide. Then they die from neglect, and avoid the tragedy of being put out of business.

The children were overwhelmingly morbid. Not a single adult asked me where butterflies go when they die, but this question was more popular than pixie sticks with the under-four-foot set. I cursed parents for not...

A robin perched on the branch of the apple tree, his feathers ruffled, his red chest blazing.’No need to look so down in the mouth,’ he chirruped. ‘Things’ll get worse before they get better.”I don’t...

I was about to run, possibly fight, definitely scream…

transparent” administration.

If I had to live my life over, I’d live it over seas, like a cloud.

The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.

I’m Reginald Clark, I’m afraid of the darkSo please do not close this book on me.

I look for patterns that nobody else does. Like I noticed that my face looks like a tablecloth. Especially when I have food all over it.

I don’t like to think of it as ‘stolen’. They have no proof that I didn’t plan on giving it back.””You’re kidding, right?”He shrugged. “You have no proof either.”She squinted back at him. “Were you...