I happen to enjoy grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches.

The rumor is that my cousin dates phoenix sculptures made out of cheese. It has to be true, because it’s too weird not to be. Also, consider the evidence. He lives in Wisconsin and does...

I think there’s always been singers like that and i’ve done my fair share of cheese as well.

Love is a bird’s nest of emotion that I used as a basket to store picnic items like apples, cheese, wine, and finger foods like thumbs and pinkies.

If you were to ask me what kind of musical sound I aspire to produce, that noise would be a wet nipple sliding across a cheese grater. I’m a sucker for love songs.

Some kinds of misery make you hate the world, but some kinds make you hate yourself, and–butter and cheese not withstanding–Neve had no question that Spear was the latter.

Instead of a gun in my holster, I hold cheesy nachos there, for dangerous snacking. Instead of a horse, this cowboy rides a couch.

We made love like I make grilled cheese sandwiches. I had no idea what I was doing, but she melted into me all the same.

I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.

Respect is something that should be earned, like eyebrows shaped like windshield wipers in a stormy arcade evening. I like my respect with lots of elbow room and melted cheese on top.

If you are able to introduce a white person to a new cheese, it’s like introducing them to a future spouse.

…‘All this suffering,’ I said, ‘and nothing but greed and violence to build on when the war is over.’‘Have another soda-mint,’ said Charles.I had one. Then I said, ‘Why are we here? That’s what I...

The moon looked like melted mozzarella to my bleary and blurry vision. Was I tired, intoxicated, or in love? Or was I sober, asleep, and alone?

I like cream cheese in just about anything.

You have to be a romantic to invest yourself, your money, and your time in cheese.

I just don’t see the point of not eating cheese. I mean, if God didn’t want us to eat cheese, would he have let man invent it?

My love is greater than a cheese grater, and was instrumental in the creation of the pizza industry. And by instrumental I mean an acoustic guitar.

Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

I have always wanted to open up a brewery slash goat farm. Brew some beer, make some goat cheese, but that’s kinda dreamy.

I was one of those. I meddled with dark powers. Isummoned demons. I ate the entire little cheese, including the rind.

In the wintertime I like macaroni and cheese.

When trying to find the words to tell her how much I loved her, I stumbled across the ingredients for grilled cheese sandwiches. That’s when I realized she was the melted cheese to my toast....

New Rule: Americans have to come up with a better cheese to represent the nation than American cheese. I’m not even sure American cheese is cheese. I think it’s aged Jell-O. And it doesn’t need...

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Blood looks like red wine, but doesn’t go as well with cheese. And too much is spilled in war. No wine should ever be spilled on a battlefield.

I walk like a guitar being strummed, and I love like cheese being forced through a grater. I like my nachos covered in melted music.

How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?

A long time ago people believed that the world is flat and the moon is made of green cheese. Some still do, to this day. The man on the moon is looking down and laughing.

I think ghosts think I think they taste like cheese. I also think ghosts think I love cheese more than any other food. That’s why I’ve never seen a ghost. They’re afraid of me, afraid...

I am the melted cheese of desire. Please, feel free to double dip.

Cheese is milk’s leap toward immortality.

My hobbies include rubbing my nipples across a cheese grater, meeting cat ladies on Tinder, and voting for either Democrat or Republican every four years. You could say I am a torture enthusiast.

I am the Cheese Cube of Desire. Sometimes you’ve just got to live dangerously.

I loathe cheese, it makes me ill.

I shaved my pubic hair, glued it on a wig, and declared it art. No museum was willing to exhibit it. I should have sprinkled cheddar cheese on top and called it An Ode To...

I don’t eat four-legged animals, but I eat birds, I eat cheese, I eat dessert. I eat everything.